Bullying, the endless love, and the neverending battle

in #writing6 years ago

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In the human body, there is this one dark corner. I call it the emptiness. I know, it is not very original but it is the best way of describing that feeling. Loneliness, emptiness, and pain. All a result of missing love. At least, that is how I see it. We feel lonely because there is no one that we think cares. We feel empty because there is no purpose. We feel mental pain because something invisible is gutting us.

And it all because we feel unappreciated. Unloved. Sometimes it is just a passing pain. Other times it takes years in darkness. On occasion, you will have a day when you just feel like you are floating. Meaningless and alone. Love. Suicide. Living things. How many people feel alone? How many just needed a person to talk to? How many bask in the darkness, self-loathing their very

Would have it been different if somebody listened when they needed it the most? Or was it the sickness and would talking just postpone the inevitable? I don't know the answers because I have no serious thoughts of hurting myself. Sure, I contemplate death but I would never be brave enough to go through with it. I know me. I want to live. Deep down.

But I have also met and known people who did not have such a strong instinct of survival. Who did see death as the only option. I saw it in her eyes. But I can not fathom it completely. Still, I want to help. Words help. Actions double so. Positive environment. And most importantly, something to fight for. Something worth dreaming towards. The knowledge that what you want is possible. That is what holds us here. In this world.

They say that if you do not love yourself no one else will. I think it is only partly true as when you hate yourself, you will miss the people who adore you. They do love you. But you can not see. It is all the pain behind your eyes. That little monster eating at your brain. Don't give in! There must be something that grounds you! Something that inspires your being. Warms your hear. A ray of sunshine to hold on to...

And, I would also like to mention bullying. Such an ugly thing. Mostly common in schools, at an age when we are most fragile. There is nothing wrong with jokes, fun, and games. But there is a line that, when crossed, can end up in darkness. When I was studying, in middle school, to be more precise, we had this one boy in my class. Constantly bickered and battered. I hope he is good now. Either way, I will find out in a month or so. We have a reunion coming up and I will know when I see him. I wonder how life turned out for him...

There are two types of people. The ones that are broken when touched and the ones that come out on top, stronger than ever. Some may chant ''natural selection''. But I do not think anybody wants to have that guilt on their heart. Ever. Not for the rest of our lives. And that feeling is not just guilt. It is our humanity. What makes us so evil at that transitional age? Why do some get stuck and bathe in venom all their lives? Never growing within.

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. There are two types of bullies, the ones who grow out of it and apologize and the others who are stuck in an endless cycle of abuse. We all deserve redemption and second chances and acknowledging human growth is a beautiful thing. I want that in my life. Human compassion.

Maybe not everyone deserves forgiveness. But keeping anger inside of you. It just eats and eats, and eats. Forgive but never forget, though. Learn instead of blindly falling on the same rake again.

What I am saying is that bullying is always going to be a thing. That is a realistic observation. But we make mistakes to grow. I have made mistakes and learned from them. And they are all good. Unless you step over somebody else's body and mind to get what you just can not live without. I have not been bullied constantly. But I have had snarky comments thrown my way. They made me think and become who I am. And I hope the person with hate had the same experience. Learn from your actions and become better.

In my life, I have been mean to somebody close to me. Family. They are not in this life anymore. I can not say ''sorry''. No matter how hard I yell, the recipient is only wind. So I have learned from that experience. Learned and grown. It made me stronger. It made me more empathetic. I am thankful even if it also brings sadness. A bittersweet experience that I would not change.

That is why I bring love to the table today. It is all love. World, nature, the earth we walk on. We are presented with life lessons every day and we make our decisions based on them. Love is the end goal even if we step through thorns. Sticks and stones. Let us not harden ourselves. Let us be open to chances and changes. And let us not make compromises for our lives. Let us love and feel, and experience. All that the world can offer. After all, it is just life. It is going to end. And after that, it won't matter what kind of house you had but the souls that remember you.

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Have the best day! Today, tomorrow, and forever.
Linda

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Hi D:( @lindahas
i'm new joining steemit and new to your blog, really this is wonderful story i like your post. thanks for share this post.

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This is what bullies feel like all the time :)

Great post!

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This is raw and aching...
I know the cold bottom of that abyss, I know the warmth when you rise and feel the warmth of love... I know about hating myself, about loving myself...
I think I have never hurt anyone on purpose... but I've been hurt... precisely my ability to always forgive what's done made me a naive target...
I've found my own ways to love
and feel loved

sometimes in the shape of furry rodents (you know what I mean)

love is love, all directions, inwards and outwards, bit and small

I am myself and that's what there is... I will try when I forget how to love myself to feel the love of others

and if you ever need to talk, here you have a friend...

cos deep waters are freezing but though the ocean is cold and vast... we are many down there sometimes just reaching for the light

or hiding from it

Interesting writing! I agree with you, only kindness matters, nothing else. It doesn't matter what house, what objects we have, we are all equal, and what we do and how we relate to each other, how we lift each other up, is the only thing that matters.

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