HoMeless But Never HoPeless

This post, if ever read by another human being, is meant to be a wake up call to the fall of the middle class, the widening gap between poor and rich. It is the definition of gentrification and my family and I are just one of the many who are being crushed by capitalism and the greed of our political systems and ideals.

Looking at me I'm sure you'd never guess that I am homeless. We don't all beg at intersections, sleep outside the liquor store or pull carts full of cans around town.

I was one of the more successful people in my small world. Most people I grew up with are on drugs or dead.

I have a family; two boys and a boyfriend. I've worked for the last 15 years, I pay my taxes. I don't have an addiction issue or a lack of education. I even got told "make too much" to collect any kind of public assistance or food stamps. Emergency aid was denied because I made above the state income limit of $1100 a month. I was told to quit my job and sleep outside for at least one night before I could even get on a wait list...? Where is the sense in that?  How does this system help anyone?

So, you make ask, "What the fuck happened?" 

How did I end up living out of my car from hotels to family/friends couches? Bad-ass-luck and poor money management honestly. 

Hindsight is 20/20 - or so the saying goes. I never took care of my 'credit' the proper way. I mean, I grew up in the 90's before the internet was life-blood and before credit became the ruler of men. I grew up broke and being behind on the bills was just the way it was. I was never taught how to save, how to build passive income, how to manage a credit score...

 Like many who are born into poor families, Life kicked my ass. The real world beat my head in. Bad decisions run rampant in my corner of the world and I am no exception.

Most recently, we had an apartment we could afford in a not-so-nice part of town. But after four years we got tired of the landlord ignoring our complaints of mold, mice and windows that didn't even meet to lock - let alone keep the winter wind out - that we started researching renter's rights. I was surprised to learn how many of my landlord's actions were illegal. The city's Board of Health was just as shocked. We spent an entire year going back and forth with the BOH and the landlord. She became resentful of us and purposely made our lives a living hell. The community center in our city outlined the court process and told us we were 100% in the right. In April of this year we took her to court. Long story short; we won in court but the landlord refused to make the required repairs in order to keep renting the apartment. The outcome: be out by May 1st. Ah, our wonderful Justice System at work. Guess we should have kept our mouths shut...

We searched Craigslist like fiends. Every. Single. Day. 

We went to showing after showing and heard landlord after landlord asking for $40-$80 for each adult (non-refundable of course) just to run credit and background checks with no promise of even getting the apartment.  My credit is so poor I can't even rent bowling shoes and my boyfriend has 5 felonies that are from 13 years ago (when he was 17! But that's a whole different story.)

I've seen them ask for detailed credit reports, months of bank statements, mandatory 650+ credit scores, the last years tax records. I mean who in their right mind wouldn't just apply for a home loan if they had all these sparkly, picket fence things?? 

Not to mention here on Massachusetts' North Shore average rent for a 2 bedroom is upwards of $1800 a month. Some one bedrooms can run you $1600 and they are not even updated new builds; these are colonials built somewhere between the late 1700- early 1900's. 

Then landlords have the balls to ask that you spend only a third of your monthly income on rent!

These dots just don't add up in the real world.

Many brainwashed, fluoride fed people would look at my situation and think that's what you get for being poor. You screwed your own credit up. You shouldn't have had kids if you couldn't afford them. You should have put up with the unsanitary conditions because that's what you get when you rent in a sleazy part of town. 

Well to that I have a giant fuck you. 

If you've never seen a problem you (or mommy & daddy) couldn't buy your way out of then we don't live in the same world. I live in the real world, the real America. I am the real American nightmare. 

So many people are just like me, one emergency away from losing it all.  

This is not a cry for help or a hand out. This is documentation of the death of the middle class. 

This is proof that the old American promise to hard work and you will make it one day is a hoax. I've worked hard for the last 15 years. I was the first in my family to graduate college. I put myself through school. I've worked two jobs, numerous times. I ran myself ragged just trying to catch a break. 

We are not alone. There are thousands of homeless families in Massachusetts - some much worse off than we are. It was easy for me to turn a blind eye to this epidemic before I became a part of it. I used to have all these preconceived perceptions of the homeless but now I get it. 

Homelessness is a ever circling cycle: 

I titled this homeless but never hopeless because I do believe in my heart the universe has a plan for each of us and each struggle is a lesson meant to bring you closer to a higher understanding. 

We are all humans sharing this earth on a crazy trip in which no one knows the final destination. Would it be so ridiculous to create housing and rental markets where regular people can survive? Could it really be detrimental to our nation to offer the simple right to a place to lay your head at night?

 No amount of money will save you from death and you can't pull out your wallet on judgement day. Karma isn't gonna check your credit score.