Club Romance – My wewrite freewrite – Week #14

in #wewrite4 years ago

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This is my entry into the wewrite freewrite contest, by @zeldacroft and @freewritehouse, for week #14. For more information on the contest, have a look at this post:
https://steemit.com/wewrite/https://steemit.com/wewrite/@freewritehouse/we-write-14-at-the-club

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This Week's Prompt

At the Club
by @zeldacroft

The club lights flashed and waved to the beating music. They washed the dancefloor in neon colors, in time to the heavy vibrations of the giant speakers. Surprisingly, Toby admired the bright lights, how they illuminated the huge space and modern architecture. Though he found himself nursing a headache at the bar.

Jan from accounting had organized the “bonding time” for the office, saying how it’d bring everyone closer together. Toby had been devoid of any good excuse, so now he was stuck between a beer, clubbers, and Jan, with her volume louder than the pounding speakers.

“And so that’s when I said, ‘Kevin, that’s the wrong variable!’” She snorted in laughter at her own joke. Toby managed a smile. “You see, he made a simple mistake!”

“No, I get it. I think Susan’s around here somewhere, she’d appreciate hearing it too.”

“That’s a good idea, but I can tell her on Monday!”

Toby took another drink. He liked Jan well-enough at work, but tonight was proving a little more difficult.

“That does bring up a good point, though. I haven’t seen many people from the office here." Scanning the room, she asked, "Do you think they're stuck in traffic?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Toby answered, knowing full well it was more a case of empty promises. Still, there was something about the disappointment in her eyes that struck him. “But hey, you got some of us here.”

She gave a small smile and looked around again, this time lingering towards the lights.

“Hey, let’s go dance!”

Before Toby could gently protest, she’d swept him onto the floor, beer and all.

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••.•´•.•• My Part Begins Here ••.•´•.••

Jan had to be at least twenty years older than Toby, who is twenty-eight. She took good care of herself though, and was still attractive for an older woman, but Toby felt a bit odd. He thought of that picture she had on her desk that he’d seen many times, that someone had taken of her laughing on a couch, at a company function some time ago. She still looked nearly as good as she did then.

He’d never danced with an older woman before, though, except when his mom showed him some basic dance steps as a kid. On that occasion, he’d needed the impromptu lessons for an unexpected third grade dance party at his elementary school one evening.

He’d had so much fun at that third-grade party, that he took it upon himself to learn more and more dance moves. By the time he was 15 he was so good that he could’ve won dance competitions if he’d wanted, but he kept his incredible dance skills hidden from public view, and when he danced at all, he’d dance like most of the other guys at the high school dances.

When he got older, he would only go to dance at clubs that were at least 30 miles in any direction from his home town, so it would be less likely that he’d run into someone he knew. He wasn’t going to show his stuff here with Jan. This was home and a lot of people knew him, so Jan would dance with the acted-out, “slightly better than beginner” Toby.

Thankfully, he did manage to set his beer down at a table on the way to the dance floor, and as they started moving, Toby started giving Jan his phony, bad dancer act, with some indecisive steps, awkward pauses and mock frustrations, so she wouldn’t really want to continue.

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The alcohol had gotten to Jan however, and though she was clearly disappointed with the meager turnout, (or maybe because of it), she decided that she was throwing caution to the wind and just started letting it rip. Toby was surprised at how good she was. While Toby moved awkwardly like a dork, she broke into some sexy West Coast Swing moves.

Toby loved the West Coast Swing, and Jan was good at it. Really good at it. He was beginning to see her as someone completely different from the nerdy, middle-aged woman from accounting he’d barely known the past two years he’d been with the company. He kept trying to deny it in his mind, but he was suddenly finding her surprisingly attractive.

His will to hold back his dancing skills weakened progressively until he couldn’t control himself any longer, and with no will left to stop himself, he broke into the sexiest and best West Coast Swing he’d ever performed. The two were putting on a really hot show at this point.

As the other once-dancers, now onlookers, were charmed and excited by the two professionals’ erotic dance moves, it only got better and better as the two eventually had some of the onlookers feeling they could use a cold shower.

Finally, after what seemed like the most exhausting twenty minutes ever to many of the people there, the music wound down and the DJ gave a shout out to the “hot couple” for their killer dance. The applause was wild. Toby had been so impressed with Jan’s moves that she had now transformed into someone different; someone incredibly sexy and irresistible… not the nerdy “mom-type” character from accounting.

Toby really had developed the hots for Jan by the time they made it back and found an empty table, regardless of the age difference between them. He’d always had a hidden interest in someday trying a “cougar” out anyway. “This is a hot, beautiful and sexy mature woman,” his mind kept telling him, “not the nerdy mom-type you thought you knew.”

He was now uncontrollably and intensely interested in getting something going with Jan, as he had never been this turned on before. Finally, he decided he was going to spell it all out to her… he wanted her. But just as he was about to spill his guts to her, Jan began to speak.

“So, you know what would’ve happened to Kevin if I hadn’t caught that he was using a wrong variable in his equation, right?” she asked, as she once again snorted in laughter, recalling and seeking more laughs for her earlier “joke.”

Club Romance © free-reign 2019

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Sources for images used in this post:

Crowded Dance Floor: Image by Franz Kreul from Pixabay
Picture of "Jan": Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay
Children: Image by Robert Jones from Pixabay
Dance Couple: Image by Alexander Belyaev from Pixabay


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oh NO!!!!! lol How can it end like that! Daaamn!!! :D Sh!t son, that was pretty roasty! haha!

I'm glad you liked it! I just couldn't resist having her joke resurface to cool things off, lol!

Left me hanging man!!!! LOL

hahahaha! Girl really knows how to spoil the mood! I find dance AND math sexy though. Something tells me Toby, however, does not.

Math is sexy. Especially if you GET IT.
Blest are they who can balance equations and solve for x!

Yeah, I didn't get the feeling that Toby worked in accounting. So, having been to plenty of similar "get-togethers" myself, I mentally assigned software engineer as his occupation. It's not that he doesn't like math, it's just that math's not the thing that lights up his day on a regular basis. :)

@free-reign Your story is very good, you keep us in suspense until the end.

Thank you @felixgarciap, I appreciate your kind words and support!

Yay!! FINALLY, someone thought of that precious beer!
*Thankfully, he did manage to set his beer down at a table on the way to the dance floor ... Toby started giving Jan his phony, bad dancer act-- Oooh, clever - the ol' pretense of not being at good at something, like Burt Rutan pretending to fly a plane for the first time and terrifying his "flight instructor" with some advanced aerobatic moves. Toby has to dance! He can't hide his talent. The dance floor empties; just the two remain. His interest in Jan intensifies. (Come on Toby, have you really been toying with the idea of finding a cougar? Or is that the alcohol talking,and the adrenalin of Jan the hot dance partner?) And the final line - ha! Touche!!!! Go Jan!!!!

Haha! That pesky beer, right? I've seen the video of the aerial acrobatics you mentioned. What a blast! Jeff Gordon the race car driver did something similar with a Camaro or some really fast car, on a test drive with the car salesman inside. I thought that earlier "joke" was just begging to serve some extra-duty! :)

Thank you for the awesome review!

Oooh, I've got to find the Jeff Gordon version of that Burt Rutan story.
I love stuff like that. :)
And I love stories that fun, having read far too many depressing, dystopian, post-apocalyptic sci-fi stories in my Perihelion ezine days, and too many in college, and in the New Yorker. Bring on the Mills and Boon, the ghosts, and (yes, I am aware that my story included a tragic shooting with fatalities... I plead "November!")

I found the youtube video of the one I saw. I looks like he did a second one after that.

Ohhhh thank you for tracking down that video - you knew I forgot to!
HILARIOUS
All that screaming and profanity from the terrified car salesman and his readiness to call the cops on this hapless driver.... not a very nice prank (I could see a heart attack imminent) but classic!!

LOL, yeah he got pretty upset there didn't he? I put myself in his shoes, and if that happened to me, I think I'd be freaking out too! It's tons of fun to laugh at though. I hadn't seen it in years and I laughed so much watching it again!

My husband said 'That's a hired actor!' and I said no, I don't think so.
Pranks can be pretty mean. Those Camaro tires took a beating! I trust the car dealer was compensated for any damages. :)

I remember reading something about the details, like car damage, etc., and I think I read that the whole thing was set up with the dealer, but that the salesman didn't know what was going on beforehand. But that was right after the video premiered on TV, I think 8 years ago?

To me, it wasn't the ending that was the most interesting but the fact that both Jan and Toby - the masters of the West Coast Swing that they were - nevertheless had to hide it from their immediate surroundings.

It reminds me of the Clark Kent paradigm. Only in Clark Kent's case, he had serious reasons for this decoy. I find the reason for this decoy fascinating and mysterious. Perhaps they had a very conservative boss and this knowledge, once dissipated, would draw a negative light on their career movement. I don't know, but I wish I would. I think these considerations would have made the ending quite different.

I also find Jan's portrait somewhat incomplete. To me as a reader, it wasn't clear why in such an advanced age, being good looking and having an attractive personality, she nevertheless wasn't married, had no children or at least had a known boyfriend. Information like these should have been known in the company.

Yet, assuming she was single and had no partner, it was strange that she pushed Toby away and the ending doesn't give a reader a clue of her true motivation. Unless her joke about the variable was meant to tell Toby that she wouldn't do it with someone from work. Yet, this is a laser thin clue, at least for me.

An interesting read overall. Memorable.

Thanks for the nice comments! I thought of Jan as being a workaholic type, rigid as most financially-oriented professionals are typically stereotyped. She may have had a partner already, and I kind of felt she may, but nothing to write home about, which also could explain why he (or she) isn't there.

I was going to have Toby with loads of chicks that love him at every one of those clubs he frequents, but I thought it could change the "feel" of the story progression. Also, this story went over 700 words as is, so I couldn't add even more words in, when I always want my wewrites to stay near the 500 word max.

The ending, I think can pan-out in several ways. It could be a shut down as you mention, or it could be that she's playing her "hand." Or it could just be that she's goofy. :)

I don't understand this word limit thing. The way the story goes is the way it goes. )))

Well, I use the wewrite specifically as a way of getting comfortable with writing stories at around the 500 word limit, because a lot of writing contests require 500 or less words for entries. Most of them also have a time limit as well.

I normally write much longer stories and articles.

I've discovered there is some value in trying to write stories with these limits enforced, but I really don't want to try limiting both at the same time. With this contest, there's kind of an implied but not at all pushed 500 word suggested upper limit I believe, but exceeding that is fine as well.

I just try to stay to the 500 as a self-imposed word limit to practice writing good stories that are that short, although I'm not really interested at this point in experimenting with even less than 500 word limits.

Yeah, I got it. My personal goal is quite different from making some format requirements. Especially considering that the winner is chosen randomly.

I look at these prompts as putting myself in a situation, where my own mind would never take me by default, and be able to find a non-standard (by this I mean not something that first comes to mind) creative solution to it. Later on, I am rewriting the prompt to make it better fit with my continuation, thus making the entire write up 100% my own story.

Cheers!


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Turned up the heat and then... Well written, quickly flooring all hidden desires with that equation quipped into the end @free-reign

Thanks for reading, and I'm glad that you enjoyed that ending! :)

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