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Almost three years ago I left home to leave alone to escape a very abusive family that treats me more of a house help than a daughter. It was a difficult decision but I took the chance and never looked back. There were times that I thought of going back specially when I was not able to get a job to sustain myself but every time I reflect and remember the abuse I have experienced it fueled my determination to succeed using the limited resources I had and a lot of good luck. I was lucky enough to discover cryptocurrencies and was able to learn it and leverage to earn a living.
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I was also lucky to have met my current boyfriend who thought me the ways of doing business and cryptocurrencies. He inculcated in me the value of learning and sharing of knowledge. He stressed that what you have in your head can never be stolen, cannot be burned by fire and can never be exhausted. He said that what he has learned he has learned from someone else because they took the time and effort to teach him. Now that he has taught me this knowledge it is my moral obligation to teach those who are seeking it. This knowledge is not to be horded by someone or any particular group. It was meant to be shared.
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Through this process of "sharing" this knowledge can be refined, developed and made even made better (an "awesomer" version). You share this knowledge by teaching. Teaching is not a one way process, it is an interaction between the teacher and the student. No one said that the teacher and student roles are set in stone as many times I have experienced a reversal of roles as the teacher became the student and the student become the teacher. Through teaching you learn more and earning more is a direct consequence of learning more.
Recently I was made aware of the gift economy and the abundance gene concept. A highly respected steemian named stellabelle made me aware of these two concepts. Perhaps may natural tendency to share what I know and help people out caught her eye and as a consequence, gifted me delegation of Steem Power which doubled my Influence power in the steemit platform. I felt enormous sense of pride and joy but in the same time I feel a little fear since I know the accompanying responsibility and obligation to live up to such an honor. " To much it is given, much is expected"
You can say that I was doing pretty good with my cryptocurrency activities. I was able to eked out a somewhat decent living. I guess all turned out well for me being away from my family. However, There are times I experience extreme episodes of loneliness. There are times that I wake up crying because I still remember the abuse I had experience from the past. The verbal abuse from my biological mother and half sister and brother and the physical abuse from my Step dad. I missed them terribly but at the same time I hate them.
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A couple of months ago I heard news that my step dad has suffered a massive stroke and had to be hospitalized. My initial reaction was to run to the hospital and check if he was okay. But I was weak, my devils reminded me of the years of abuse that I have suffered. I even told myself that it is bad karma that brought him that for the years abuse he had inflicted on me. This was compounded by the fact that my Half sister and brother keep messaging me that it was very inconvenient for them to stay in the hospital since they had to go to school and since I am not doing anything I should be the one taking care of him. For more than two years I never had a single cent of support from any of them now they expect me to stop my work online and take care of someone who abused me for years! This got me more upset and since then I blocked them in all my social network.
One day a text come to me informing me that my step dad as regained consciousness and already out of the hospital. It was my step mom. She told me that my step dad could not speak properly and the very few words he can say was my name. Upon hearing that it melted my heart and I immediately went to visit him. I felt sorry for him when I visited. The person that I used to fear now couldn't even eat by himself nor make a sensible conversation. He would just always say my name.
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All is okay not until one of may aunt arrived and called up my biological mother overseas and insisted that I talked to her. As expected nothing turned up well in our conversation. I was told that I was of no use and enumerated the hospital expenses she has incurred and the inconvenience it has brought my half sister and brother. She even told me that she should have killed me when I was in her womb because I was a mistake from the very start. I was so upset that I just left immediately and cried all the way home while commuting.
My step mom tried to reach out to me for several weeks but I was so upset that I ignored all her messages. I only replied when I learned she informed me that my step dad was taken by his relatives and left her with her daughter. Similar to me they had nothing not a single cent in their pocket. Luckily she has a cousin who helped her financially and she was able to get a job which pays her 2000 pesos per month not even enough to pay the rent where they are staying.
My step mom was nothing like my mother. I can say that she is more of a mother to me than my biological mother. She understands me and gives me sound advice however that is the only thing she can do since like me she was afraid of my step father and never entrusted with money. She used to tell me that she wanted to help me financially but what can she do she has no money.
In one of my casual conversation over the phone I once joked that my boyfriend got me pregnant and I want to stay with her. Without any hesitation she agreed as she knows that I have no knowledge about pregnancy. Then I followed it up how we can sustain ourselves. She just told me that we will find a way somehow and started laughing.
The opportunity came when I and my boyfriend was asked to move out of the house we were renting. They are planning to renovate the house we are living in and planned to sell it. I asked help from my step mom to look for one near her place, then the idea came out to stay in their place. My boyfriend was reluctant but I was able to convince him as it was only temporary until we found a nice place to stay. Now I am teaching them how to use steemit.
I learned that my Step Mom was planning to leave for England to work as a nanny. I am helping her to process her working visa and renew her passport. She plans to use steemit as a means of communicating with her children and share her experience as a first time overseas worker. I know she is afraid but I always remind her that she is doing it for her children. I asked her what will happen to Nikki and Abbey. She quickly replied she is not worried since I am here now. That brought me joy as for once someone in our "family" acknowledge me as someone who can be relied on.
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Maybe that is the reason why I do what I do in steemit. I love helping out. Specially those who are unappreciated, the unnoticed, the small guys, the newbies, those who are bullied and those who are in despair. I feel them I am one of them. I know their pain their suffering. I had cried my fair share of "tear drops" from my life experiences but instead of dwelling in them I have drawn from it strength to fight on; live on.
Being in seemit is like a curriculum. It is a never ending process of discovering and self discovery. It is like theraphy. It is life, full of surprises and disappoinments. Sir surpassinggoogle always tells me that steemit is like CCTV to him which gives him a unique world view. I idolize him and wanted to be like him. Everyone likes him and I wanted to be liked by everyone. Who doesn't?
I asked him what drives him and what keeps him going. His simple answer was: "it was why he was created." He further explains that it is 24/7 pain. No rest, no sleep, no hugs etc. Since very few possesses and shares his vision it is a very lonely battle. Many professes love but that is not "proven love." He always says that I still have much to learn but it is okay as I am still young. He explains to me that I must learn how to look beyond the superficial.
I explain to him that there are a lot of us who shares the same vision (clue: check out my tags) although I must admit it is really difficult to fully grasp. Maybe in time I will be enlightened and together with this gathering of like minded steemians we will be able to discover the true meaning of being one
#philippines #busy #promo-steem #busy
great post Ank! :) u sure do tell a good story..
I was first impressed with the words of ur bf when he said that stuff in ur head cant be stolen.. very cool! very smart guy!
I also appreciate ur sharing about your life and troubles.. wow, i had no clue.. that part about what ur biological mom told u.. WTF??
I also agree 100% about mr. Terry! he is too cool and also my steemit idol! Lets both work to be like him..
:)
Yeah I am pretty much an open book. But you know what? I left the worst parts out. I did some pretty crazy stuff to survive. Cryptocurrency literally saved me from a world best left forgotten.
Yup it is good to emulate people like sir terry let share his vision. But we have to be equipped and prepared so start stackingup those SP's :) haha
:) im so glad crypto made such a positive in ur life.. i never really picture it that way. im also very glad that u are such a survivor and here to bless steemit now. :)
Its so true that Terry has quietly influenced me, and u, and probably countless others.. He leads by example as well as all the great work he does. and yup.. NEED MORE SP!!! :P
I knew about your story and I have always respected and followed you because even before coming to Steemit you already had the abundance gene.
You have looked out for people and always wanted to provide them opportunities.
Maybe because of how you were treated early on, your independence in seeking a way for you to live, the mentality that he injected to you when he taught you about cryptocurrency and how it can change lives.
This is why both SG and Stellabelle saw in you that you were selfless enough to care for your fellow people.
I know a great responsibility has been placed in your young shoulders but I know that with all the advocacy and plans that we have with @steemitfamilyph, Steemitpowerupph and the new Steemit Academy that it will be hard and will have a lot of hard work but you know Ohana will always be there for you. We will share your load and help you as you help other people.
You are awesome Ankarlie and I am really proud to be your friend.
It always feels good to have someone like you to upleft a friends with such comforting words! Slute to the both of you! Cheers!
Thanks kuya It truly does takes one to know one. You have it also this "abundance gene" and the rest of the Steemitfamiy family and our sister groups. I know too that you have also experience pain, suffering, despair and you also taught of ending it all. Funny most of the people that acts the same way thought of ending their own life. But instead we continued and looked beyond ourselves. It seems we made the happiness of other people our happiness. Perhaps that is true happiness and fulfillment.
I knew that you've been through a lot but I never imagined it to be this bad. I also experienced verbal abuse often when I was young but not physical abuse. Does it still hurts? Sometimes when we look back the pain is still there, isn't it? Its not just the word and the hit that hurts, its the fact that the ones who inflicted those were our so called "family". Where we should have felt love, right? And its easier to just give up and end it all but somehow there is something that kept us going and its worth it. To live it and to have survived it. Even though you are younger than me, I look up to you sis, the inspiration that you are sharing us- I am very thankful for it. And I am very blessed to have met you, thank you for teaching us, guiding us, for pushing us on opportunities and for being our friend. You are like a sister to me, maybe not by blood but by heart. I may not know you personally and totally but their is something that connects us, maybe its the same pain of the past. Anyway, this have been longer than I intended but I hope you get my ramblings. I'm happy that I am one of your family online, keep inspiring us and brightening our way with your shining golden heart. God bless you more and TL. 😊 love lots ❤
Thanks sis I missed you where have you been? I hope that everything is okay with you. I know you have been very busy I hope you will find write again here in steemit you have so much talent and potential. We need writers like you. I was so happy when your message popped up our gc. Come join us in our steemit support group: steemitfamilyph they are my family online and also our sister group steempowerupph. I am also with Steemiachievers with ate shane. If you have time lets chat for a bit missed you girl. I want you to meet my step sisters one is a writer in wattpad i was surprised. I am still waiting for account to be approved. Anyway there are many things we need to chat about if you have time please DM me.
Sorry, my hands have been really full the last months. I am trying to start again here in steemit. I missed you too, sis. 😊 I would like to meet your stepsister too, what's her name in wattpad? maybe I can read her stories sometime. will message you soon, maybe later at night. 😊
I cried reading your blog, Ma'am. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your teardrops maybe you have something to share don't be afraid you can share it. I removed the worst parts to keep my dignity intact.
Wow. I dont know what to say to you anidel. I saddened of what happened in the past but you are at better hands now. It is you that will always keep yourself upright. You a truely independent woman. Your an amazing person just know that. Im still bit loss for words.
Hi kuya Jon. We have our stories to tell and you have shared yours in our group chats in facebook. It must have been tough growing up but it all turned up well right? There was a time when we needed help but help was no where to be found but through a series of amazing events we have survived and now put in a position that we can help people specially those of most need. We share this vision because we know how it is being helpless and we don't want anyone else to feel the same. You are a great leader kuya and I look up to you.
I was touched by your story..."kung pede lang i hug kita ngayon." In behalf of your step dad I would like to say sorry. Sorry kasi daddy din ako, and sometimes I tend to abuse my daughter salamat that you shared your story here. Salamat natauhan ako, and you know what tomorrow I will ask for forgiveness sa daughter ko. You are a blessing ankarlie, God brought you to me through Steemit at 2:30 in the morning. Thanks for dropping a comment to my post that's why I was brought to this post of yours. Please continue what you are doing...and please release forgiveness to those who've hurt you. It will lessen the pain. Let go and let God...again thank you and, God bless you Ma'am @nkarlie.
Hello po. I share my story to show that no matter what challenge life throws at us we are very capable of dealing with it no matter how dire it may seem. I have already forgiven my step dad for what he did to me and my step mom has explained why he was like that. I later learned later that it also broke my step dads heart when I left. Sometimes we just have to learn how deal with the different ways parents show their love. He was overly protective of me my step mom explained it was fatherly love, though love.
I am honored to have met you here, Ankarlie. You are one brave woman. I am out of words to tell you about what I have just read but I want you to know how blessed you are still. You're stepmom was sent to you to show you you have mom number 2. I, myself have a lot of moms, too. I'm sorry to know about your experiences with your mom and stepdad. Parenting is not for everyone, sadly. And sometimes, parents can say all the frustrations they have to their children. I just hope you and your parents have enough time to patch things up and be free of the pain. Time heals. I hope for all the best in all you do @ankarlie and thank you for all you do to us here in Steemit and for all the things I have learned from you. I appreciate that, always. You take care and stay a tough one. Like I always say, life is tough but we can be tougher. And always reach out when you feel sad and alone. No one deserves to be lonely.
Thank you ate for your response to my post. You have also shared with me your situation and hardship I must say you are one tough lady and I admire you because of that. Learning your life story made me realize that compared to others my problems is just peanuts. You have shared a portion of it your post but you left out the most painful parts. You are a good person ate you are still protecting their honor even though they treat you like that for that you have my salute and my admiration.
Thank you! God bless you always and may he always provide you your needs as an independent woman. Home should ideally be where we should be comfortable with, but you had to leave it to feel better and find yourself... it wasn't all easy for sure. Give yourself the life you deserve, @ankarlie. Always remember how amazing you are. Never forget that when you feel lonely!
An image of a strong an independent woman!
Thank you ate. To survive we really need to be strong specially for women. I have read your post about single moms and You are a strong independent woman yourself ate kudos to you!
Very interesting story of your life.
Thank you for dropping by my post sir.
I think this is the first personal blog that I read about you Mam. I only know you as the girl who knows a lot about cryptocurrency and who always ask if anybody wants to piggyback ride on cashing out. Hehe
I know you have a very generous and kind heart. Thank you so much for everything you're doing for the group. It must have been hard walking away from people you love. But it proved that you're a tough person, and I admire your courage. Not everyone is a strong as you are. Salute 💚
Thank you ate. I believe that we all have what it takes to overcome whatever comes our way. The key is just not to give up. I must admit that it is easier said than done. Before I used to read and watch inspirational videos over the net just to keep me inspired because there is no one to inspire me. Luckily my prince charming came to rescue me. Unfortunately he is a very private person wanted to write about him here but he always ask me to respect his privacy.