More Teardrops, This Time For Me

There are times like this you just want to end your life. Feeling sad, alone and miserable. Your mother won't listen to you, your family is against you. They want you to follow their standards so they take away some things. It is early in the morning and these things happens to you, you just want to end you life there and now.

It is not easy living when you have no job or money of your own. Everything has to be liquidated and if it does not meet, you are irresponsible. I always thought that when I get older I would have life easier. Taking care of my mother is no easy feat but I do it because she is my mother and I love her. Sometimes it is hard to show but I do.

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I chose this picture because the title was crying, tears and sad mood. It really shows in the eyes and you can feel the pain. So that is why I chose it because of what I feel now. It is hard to start the day in a sad mood because it affects the whole day.

I have thought of so many times to take my life but what holds me back is my Mom and daughter and soon to be grandson. They are my strength and what keeps me going. Some days I just want to stay in bed and just lie there, waiting for the world to just go on without me. But then I get up and go on.

This time the #teardrops I am shedding is for myself. I know it's not good to feel sorry for oneself and people misunderstand it as self-pity. To me that is different. Self pity I think, for me, is pretending or feeling sorry for yourself even if there is no need . To show them that you are to be pitied but in reality you are not. Feeling sorry for myself to me means that I am sorry that I am living because nothing I do seem right to them. But whatever the difference, today's #teardrops are for me.

I am just happy for #steemit because I can share my #teardrops, my feelings, my achievements, failures and happiness. Also any knowledge I have I can share too, recipes, DIY and more. It also give me a small financial freedom to do what I want. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We also have to shed #teardrops for ourselves, not just for others. Give time for yourself and shed those #tears for yourself because no one else will.

Is is too early but I have to let it out. Thanks to @surpassinggoogle for this opportunity to let out our #human self and to express it. If I didn't have this now, I would probably lying in bed with the covers over my head hoping the world will go on without me, and just waiting. But now I can express myself, even writing this with the tears falling down because now I have an outlet. It lessens the load on your heart and mind.

I always pray to God, but sometimes I feel He is not listening but I know He does. He is just waiting for the right time to reward me because He knows I can still handle all this. I am glad God made me a little stronger.

The pain is still here but not as painful as it was earlier. It was too painful initially that I wanted to take my life but after letting it out the pain is bearable. I can still go on and maybe even smile or laugh later.

Thank you for reading and bearing with me. Thanks for the prayers for my daughter and for me. They are highly appreciated and it made me feel loved.

@surpassinggoogle has been a wonderful person and supportive of our group #SteemitDiversify. Please support him as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.
If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.
Others that are also good: @beanz, @teamsteem, @good-karma, @busy.org, @esteemapp, @hr1, @arcange @bayanihan, @acidyo, @anomadsoul, @steemitph and @paradise-found, and the many others who have visited My posts. Thank you very much.
I am grateful for that and for everyone who has helped me and my friends