RE: ULOG: 26 Loneliness and Schedules

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ULOG: 26 Loneliness and Schedules

in ulog •  3 months ago

Hugs to you.

Three things went through my head when I was reading.

First. My husband and I have moved around rather often. We've devoloped a name for this syndrome of wanting to go back home (or back to the last good place) even though we're in a better situation than the one we left. We call it "let's go back to Egypt." It comes from the Hebrew people wandering in the desert. They'd start grumbling, complaining, (we can't once find where they ever thought to ask nice for what they wanted), and then they'd start in on how great it was in Egypt (never mind the slave status).

The second thing dove tails right into the last. I follow a girl on YouTube who has made multiple moves between nations. She and her guy did a video on her last trip back to NYC and how much it had made her miss NYC all over again. They pointed out that this seems to be a really common thing -- missing the last place you lived even when you are really in a good new place of you're own choosing. It's just human nature.

Personally, I think we just remember the good food and the people there.

I'll tell you a secret. I still go through this every time I watch a movie with a New York setting. I go through this when my daughter sends me photos from Oregon. I go through this every time I hear the word Texas. Sometimes going through my old photos makes me so "home sick". Visits to see family ... Well they usually make me insane and kind of homesick because ... Crazy is familiar? I dunno.

So. You're not alone in this swim in the Nostalgia River with rose colored goggles, where life is golden and the food is out of this world!

But. For whatever reason, I come back to knowing that it's okay to be apart from there. It's usually best to be away from there. It's even okay to be happily relieved to be away from the responsibilities of there. And I stop second guessing our decisions and stop resenting that there still is not a teleporter behind the living room bookshelf. (Ok. I may actually be slightly bitter about the no teleporter thing.)

So. All that to say, be patient. It's a cyclical wave.

Then. Lastly, you mentioned patterns. I hope you are making some because they really are amazing. I always always always encourage, promote, and insist mom's make routines over schedules. I promise. I've been so amazed by how many of my kids' memories revolve around the bedtime routine.

It was the only routine I ever got down to an art. The thing that surprised me about the routine is that it was so much more flexible than a schedule. It could be started early or late. It could be extended or shortened. Stuff could be added or removed for special occasions. But. It's was just as you said, it was just time to do whatever the next thing to do was. So much less fussing!

I suspect I'm preaching to the choir though when it l comes to patterns of routines.

Did you ever read any of Charlotte Mason's books? I'm pretty sure that's the right name of the person who got me hooked on routines.

Anyway, mostly, Hang in there. You'll get through this wave, too. I'm going to stop bending your ear now ... ... Stop bending your comment section?

Anyway, Remember,
Look for the joy in your day or make some :-)

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Wow, that is A LOT of moving around! I have lived in different places throughout my life but "home" has always felt like "home."

There's something about being in the same place your parents grew up in, something about bumping into people you went to school with, something about running into your grandparents at different places around town.

I don't find myself missing other places I have lived, but I would not be surprised if there were certain things I missed about Alameda, unfortunately, Alameda is more like a writing retreat and less like a "home."

I sure do like having a writing retreat. I sure do miss Sundays at Mom's house.

Thank you for your support. Some days are easier than others and other days are just pure love and joy.