#Ulog | #4 | The aftermath and what my conclusion of it is
So 9 days ago i told you all of the issues between me and my partner. After our talk 7 days ago, we decided to take another shot at it and see how it works out.
Tuesday - Bad feelings coming up
Tuesday evening, i told her, that i want to talk already on Thursday. Since we shared some messages with each other, i already had a bad feeling about her decision. There was no point for me to wait till Friday, since i was 100% certain about her decision. Tuesday was pretty rough, couldn't find sleep, watch the first season of Gray's Anatomy. While watching Christina and Izzy hanging around, my thoughts where filled about here
Wednesday - Preparing to take the cut
The whole day, i tried to keep my mind of Kathrin, but still, i knew that the next day will be hard for me. The way she talked and wrote with me was so cold, so distanced and reserved, i was totally screwed up already.
Thursday - Coming home
So i came home at 5 pm. Kathrin was laying in the bed and sleeping already. I didn't catch a lot of sleep the last three days, so i took my clothes of,while her eyes took a glance at me smiling. She rolled into my arm and crapped my hand. This confused me so hard, i didn't know what to aspect from her. After 2-3 hours of sleep, she went to her parents and i did arrange some stuff at home and made my homework.
She came home after 2 hours and i took the step towards her and started to talk. She just told me, that at the moment she doesn't now, if she still wants to be in an relationship with me. She explained me, that she loves me really, but she isn't in love with me. This might sounds like the end, but just to be honest, no couple is in love forever. Nevertheless, she told me, too, that there are days, where i am awesome, being her man, and then destroying it the next day with my bad mood.
Friday - Final talk
Her parents did invite us for a BBQ. We had a great time, talking and laughing, being silly and not stressed by the current situation we had been in. We came home and started cuddling again till 10 pm. Then i started the topic again, because i felt like i needed a solution, at least for the week. We decided, that we are going on with our relationship, trying to improve the whole situation around her, us and me, regarding money, trust and goals.
Comclusion
It is pretty hard to rebuild trust, that blind trust you always bring in at the beginning of a relation. I can't change my partner, but i can adjust myself, deal with negativ stuff in a more matured way, progress my life as an individual. But at the end, i can't change my feelings and as long as they are stronger towards her, i will not give up, but if the turn comes, i will run as fast as i can.
I really thank everyone, who read this post from my heart. Sometimes you need somebody to talk, even if it is some strangers from the internet.
Very heart-felt share. It sounds as if you are doing the best you can to navigate through an uneasy time.
that the only thing i could and always would, trying as best as i can
Thanks for being so courageous to share with us what you're experiencing now in your relationship, @harktheshark. Getting on with our own selves is so hard, much less getting on with other people and a special someone.
If you agree that trust, money and goals are issues in your relationship, you can pave the way for improvements by working on these issues within yourself first.
Relationships only mirror what's going on inside of each of us that we need to look at and improve. So dive down deeper in to those three issues of trust, money and goals and start improving yourself in those areas. That will in turn have a huge impact first in your own life but also in your relationship.
Plus focusing on improving these areas in your life will help you stay calm and less stressed when there are hiccups between your love and yourself.... because you'll be focused every day on taking concrete, real steps to improve those three big areas in your life. Those three are always HUGE issues in all of our individual lives.. including those of total strangers on the internet. ;)
Best wishes and sending lots of Angel healing and Blessings for you and your partner.
This comment was made from https://ulogs.org
wow i really appreciate your kind words. I think it will take some time, since it is my behavioral pattern towards relationships. I have been always focused on the 'us' instead of the me. There will be the change for sure :) thank you very much
You're very Welcome, @harktheshark!
Just keep in tune with your feelings and your desire to transform and keep moving forward and you will succeed. These lives of ours are mostly wonderful marathons not sprints, thank goodness... so there's a bit of time. ;)
upvote for me please? https://steemit.com/news/@bible.com/6h36cq
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