i came home to broken ornaments

The Christmas tree was leaning against the window, surrounded by broken ornaments. The sink was piled with dirty dishes and pans. The kitchen had several FULL bags of trash, empty pizza boxes, and in the carpeted common space; a couple of empty plastic bags littered the floor.

I pulled a broken flamingo head that had lost its Florida body. A gift from a traveling friend was the first ornament causality I identified. A hand painted gold walnut that a student’s mom made for me was crushed. I tried standing the tree up proper but was too tired to deal with it after driving three hours to get home.

My roommate knows my silence is my way of yelling. He tried to make small talk and I wished I could’ve enjoyed sharing stories of my time with my family. The mess was too distracting. He said the tree simply fell on its on.

It had been standing fine since Halloween.

Maybe he didn’t think I would return home til tomorrow. Maybe he had plans to have the place back in sparkling order but I came home too soon. Or maybe it’s why he told me he’s moving out next month while I was visiting my family.

I was glad I got on the ball putting it out to my networks that I’m on the search for a new roommate while on vacation. I have three people interested in moving in.

This wasn’t how I planned my first day home for the year would feel. I wanted to unpack and play the piano. Get settled and feel like I’ve come home.

JNET: “A girl, prospective new roommate is coming over tomorrow morning. Do you think you can create order and prepare your room for her? You mentioned yesterday that you can.”

I then I went to bed. Tomorrow might be a stretch for him to get things in order. I will cross my fingers.

And then he texted me at 1am to say the internet wasn’t working.

?!?!?!?!?

It made me think of a post by @futuremind on boundaries. I didn’t like the idea that I was getting tested by my roommate as we were parting ways. Was he unaware? He knows this sort of thing doesn’t land him in my favorite people list. Perhaps his thoughts and plans to move out is making his brain weird. I don’t know. I just know that I managed to unpack and put away my things back in their rightful places. I even did a few of his dishes to get the pile down before going to sleep.

And then I woke up. I looked after my patio garden. No plants died during my vacation though a couple drooped in thirst. D cleaned his dishes and had his room ready with enough time to nap before the girl visited to see his room. It was a good interview. I liked her.

And then I left home and had a lovely day teaching. But something has been making me unsettled all day about the Christmas chaos.

I was able to organize most of the ornaments. But one is missing and unaccounted for. My comic con exclusive Marvel War Machine ornament is missing. It’s from comic con 2014 and only 1300 were made. I’ve enjoyed putting up my geek tree every October and never lost an ornament and it made me ill when M suggested that my roommate may have stolen it or a visiting guest of his.

A thief in my home? My roommate? His friends? It’s a terrible thought and I hate it. Ornaments don’t walk away and my hope is that it will turn up. I’ve asked my roommate to help me look for it and told him that it’s special to me. I do want to part in good terms. This, unfortunately, is not good.

I feel ill.

Send a prayer to Saint Anthony for me. Tell the house elves to bring back my ornament. I want the universe to prove to me that D is not a bad human being.

JNET