Lavatorial Legerdemain on the Commuter Rail ~ OR ~ Going on the Go

in travel •  4 months ago

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It turns out they actually do have bathrooms on commuter rail trains!

I've been walking past them for a couple of weeks now. Guess the doors were always closed. Guess I'm not at my most observant when I'm in a hurry.

This could be life-changing, in particular as regards my morning coffee consumption. No more pounding two cups at the moment of waking and then leaving at the last minute to maximize outflows before an anxious 90 minute wait.

Today, the restroom I found was in darkness. Since privacy is a concern in such cublicles, and there are no windows or portals to the outdoors, shutting the door plunged this lavatory into complete darkness. I hunted around for a light switch managing to flush the toilet and dispense some soap, and then I nearly summoned emergency services. "I'm disabled!"

What was the meaning of this darkness? Could it be that the cost cutting measures have not eliminted toilets yet, but they have reached lavatorial lighting? Is pissing in the darkness meant to be the thin edge of the wedge, our first stumbling step into the precipice of barbarism?

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Not today! It occurred to me I had a sort of flashlight in my pocket, in the form of moderately obsolete cellular technology. But how to unzip and take aim with one hand while while directing the faint light of my still-open pay-for-parking application in the other? It took a bit of juggling, I can tell you, and the use of the face as a sort of "third hand". I was nervous about losing my fancy beacon in the chemical mire, but it would have been a fitting end for this tired, if loyal, device.

Near the conclusion of these proceedings, there was a knock at the door. Had I summoned emergency services after all? No, it was merely the conductor - a charming fellow with a serious brow and a kind expression. "Excuse me," he said. "I just wanted to check on the light in here. I noticed it had burned out earlier."

Any previous 3rd world aspersions I may have cast upon this service must be rescinded - or at least adapted. The WiFi connection is still spotty at best.

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Yes, we've had a lovely light snow this morning - enough to add some charm to the commute without any inconvenience. This is the kind of winter we can handle!

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The one that Liam Neeson used in The Commuter was a lot roomier than any I ever saw on Amtrak.

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Also "Leg Disabled"

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Full upvote for catching the disabled reference!

Taking a leak in the dark is always a great time. Unless you have to make it in a specific place then it becomes a real life struggle.
Starting the day off with a good challenging experience. Lol

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Never a dull moment around here. It was nice to catch a break in the form of a mobile rest-room.

What is the meaning of the darkness loloolollol I love your inner musings.... <3

We have a winterwonderland here today too <3 <3 Got the husband home and everything, a great day! <3 Thanks for the speeding photos!!

I still and always suggest to spend the cold winter somewhere else. Canada is tough.

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He's a northern states man, all the cold, none of the healthcare.

As someone whose diet is dictated by the facilities available to me, I feel your pains. I hardly consider a trains restroom a refuge for refuse, but desperate time measured, a safer bet than holding it till you've exploded.

Can't count the amount of times my phones flashlight has got me out of a jam.

A riveting tale of the unknown, humanities struggle into a future filled with darkness and piss. In the end it's always the little guy, doing his job right, that keeps the threads of society closely tethered together.

I have five words to say to you, sweetie ;)

NO ONE LISTENS TO DONNA

That is all...

End Communication.

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ahahah what's going on here?

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It's just an old family saying that I always seem to 'give advice' to people in my family who never listen to it and then it comes to pass. Just silliness :)

Love reading your RR mis-adventures. Sorry, my mirth at your expense. But they're so very well written and described. Almost like I'm there, and glad I'm not. Also glad you didn't lose your light into the watry blue. Do they still 'empty' out to the tracks? Thought that was illegal now.
Reminds me of wedging into the ariplane loo, and hoping there isn't a 'drop' of 1000 feet with my head wedged into the curved ceiling-corner of things.

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Please laugh - I'm not sharing these stories to make people sad!

And thanks for the kind words.

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Good point. I shall laugh away, even at your expense. I am the same way, very few things written on here to take seriously. There's already way too much of that in the world of today. Let's just have a good chortle to balance it all out and get on with the day...