Extra Breakfast

Extra Breakfast: a tale from Osaka

Point at a picture, get what you pointed to. Seems pretty easy, right? Everything started out well enough - I squeezed into a coffee shop where I could touch both walls if I laid down and was handed a menu with three pictures. Coffee, coffee with egg, coffee with egg and toast. I pointed at the bottom and a bunson burner was lit. A flask of water was brought to a boil and, through a steam pressure mechanism, the water mixed with the coffee grounds located in a chamber on top of the flask. When the wrinkled old man behind the bar felt the coffee was sufficiently brewed, he turned off the bunson burner and focused his attention to buttering a huge piece of toast while the steam cooled and pulled the coffee back into its original container. The coffee was poured into a cup, the toast was cut into three pieces and placed on a plate, a hardboiled egg was drawn from a cooler and put on its own miniature middle-school lunch tray, and the set was placed in front of me, a wet-nap and tiny glass of ice water completing the picture. All was well in the world.

In due course, the comestibles were consumed. I wasn't quite sated though, so I reacquired the picture card and pointed slightly higher - the coffee and egg. It was only ten yen cheaper, but it was the difference between getting more coins in change or getting rid of the coins I had in my pocket. The old man magicked up some more coffee, the hostess brought forth a second egg on a second tray, and a fresh wet-nap sprang forth from the aether. I was happy.

A few minutes and certainly a few tiny glasses of water later, I squeezed my way out of the establishment. Five ten-yen coins disappeared from my pocket, as did two one hundreds and a five hundred. Now much less jingley, I went out wandering the neighborhood.

Pounding pavement for a couple hours, it came time to sit and digest what I'd seen (and maybe get a bit of writing done). I found a new cafe with a lot more space and two women running it - the hostess and the bartender. A familiar picture menu appeared as I sat down at the bar, though it was a bit pricier - four hundred yen whether you got food or not. I pointed at the top picture - coffee - and used my best friend of a word "oni-guy-shimas" (no idea on spelling - it's "please"). This was met with a smile and a few words I didn't know. Then there was a gesture at the menu - I sat there as Homer Simpson, Smiling Politely. A nod did the trick though and a bunson burner was lit. Then the bread was placed in the toaster oven. A minute or so later there was a familiar set in front of me: toast in three pieces, egg on a tiny tray, water and wet-nap.

It wasn't a big deal - everything was the same price, after all. That's probably what the hostess was trying to tell me. I wasn't really hungry, but everything went down well enough. While I took my time eating, I wasn't quite ready to start walking again, so I caught the eye of the bartender (maybe better luck with her?). I held up my empty coffee cup and employed my magic word. Point at the cup, thumbs up. Point at the plate, crossed fingers. The lady smiled brightly and nodded.

The bunson burner was lit. The bread went into the toaster oven...