Upsetting your family by moving abroad.

Nine years ago my family and I chose to travel and see more of the world. Nine years later we absolutely made the right choice but that doesn’t mean that we didn’t encounter some pain and hardship along the way. This is the story of how we came to have wanderlust, how we said goodbye and our strategies to keep the peace!

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Jaime's first day of school in Bahrain.

Going back a few years Jayne and I were in decent jobs. Jayne was in Banking (Boooo!) and I was in Newspapers (again, Boooooooo!) :) Jayne had previously worked as an Au Pair in Washington DC for a year. Her experience was a good one and I think this gave us the initial thoughts of living abroad. In contrast, I was born, grew up and worked in Bristol, England all my life but I always knew I wanted to travel and see more of this beautiful planet. We were lucky enough to go on a few well-earned holidays but it always felt like we were working long hours all year just for a two week holiday. Jaime was born and that was a happy but extremely busy time and this delayed our growing thoughts of doing something different. Little did we know the changes, some forced, some chosen that were just around the corner.

Baby Jaime

Three things happened in fairly quick succession. The first one was that we won a trip to the Maldives. This trip was an incredible experience that taught us a lot. We learned that babies can travel! So if you’re one of those people with young children, get them used to it straight away. Don’t wait until they are older because they will hate it. Jaime has always traveled well, will happily sit in a restaurant and eat new and exciting food, and is generally happy to do the things that we have always done together. The trip also told us that we were not satisfied with our lives and we wanted more. We were in a big funk for weeks after that trip. Secondly, Jayne changed careers to become a teacher. This was something she had always wanted to do and it was a key moment in our ability to find work abroad. Jayne going to University to do her PGCE was an interesting strain on the finances though. Thirdly, I was made redundant along with 88 of my colleagues from the newspaper. This was the moment that we needed!The nudge to make that decision to go.

My Family

Jayne had started to apply for teaching positions in different countries and then she was contacted by a friend who had moved to Bahrain. My reaction was NO! My perception of the country and the Middle East was not a particularly good one. That was based on the British media version of everything and as I’ve come to realise it is not 100% trustworthy (to say the least). I decided to research for myself and make the most informed opinion that I possibly could and it is certainly my advice to anyone out there thinking of moving to do the same. We had three days to think about it, which is not long at all and slightly terrifying! On deadline day Jayne rang me and we had to decide there and then. We agreed to say yes or no after the count of three. One…….Two……… Thr…..It’s making my heart race right now just thinking about it. The answer from both of our mouths was, of course, yes.

Jaime and my Brothers two beautiful girls

The next priority was to ask Jaime. I say ask because that is exactly what we did but Jaime was six years old so who knows how she would react. We sat her down to ask her if she would like to live in a different country. Her reaction was so beautiful and curious and inquiring. She asked lots of pertinent questions and her understanding of the situation seemed to be very good. Of course, none of us really knew what we were truly getting into no matter how much due diligence you give it. It’s not the research on the area, the school or even the people or culture, it’s the emotional side to leaving that you cannot fully understand until you embark on your own journey.

Our friends from back when we were teenagers.

Next up was telling the family. This was an incredibly hard and painful process. Most of them had an idea that we were going to live abroad in the future but they were clearly not ready for it to happen right now. They were gobsmacked when we told them that it was Bahrain. It was heart-breaking to see their disappointment and, quite frankly, their terror at that prospect. Their first question was why?

My Dad, Brother and Sister-in-law.

The Grandparents

The answer to the question ‘why’ is not easy to explain to your loved ones without confusing, offending and upsetting them. I still have anxiety and guilt about it to this day. I love my family and I love where I come from but we needed to at least give it a go. That brings us back to the beginning of this story. My daughter’s education, either in school or in her life outside of school, has been amazing. She is a true child of the world but she has always missed home terribly. She misses her Grandparents and her auntie and uncle and they miss her too but we have kept in contact and all of our relationships have become stronger in a lot of ways. We Skype everyone once a week, thank goodness for video calling and instant messaging. We try to stay in touch with each other’s daily lives. We are also currently living in Romania because it’s a destination not too far away and we try to get home as often as possible. Jayne is in love with teaching and has never looked back when it comes to her career. I’m a slightly different story! To cut a long story short I am now a qualified ESL teacher and a football coach and have found my passion in teaching. I have been lucky but I've also worked hard and have been dedicated to get an opportunity to teach and it is so rewarding.

Me doing my thing. A great group of girls in Bahrain.

My Mum at the Formula 1 in Bahrain

If you are thinking of making the jump then I would totally recommend it but be warned that it’s not all plain sailing. There are many ups and downs to living abroad but the pros outweigh the cons by an awful lot. Actually the process of writing this blog has been quite emotional and therapeutic and I’m glad I have chosen to write this today. I shall have to write more!! I’m very proud of my little family and our decision to go and you could do it too. All you have to do is say……………….. YES!

Gaz

Skiing in Predeal, Romania.