Pamamanhikan: A Filipino Tradition of Asking A Girl's Hand in Marriage
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Philippines is rich with many traditions. This mirrors our culture and heritage.
One of the Filipino traditions that is still practiced until this modern day is the "Pamamanhikan", from the word "panik" which means to ascend or to climb a house's flight of stairs.
Pamamanhikan is when the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask her parents' blessing to marry their daughter.
During the pamamanhikan, the couple is given no role. They are to remain silent. Only the parents are allowed to talk about the intention of the man. I can still remember our time. I was kept in a room. I was only allowed to go out after both parties have talked. THe occasion is rendered simpler if both parties already know each other. If not, the old Filipino way is resorted to find a person who will act as the "Big Man" or in our vernacular, "Dakong Tawo". The Big man does not literally mean he is big. He is named such because he initiates the talking.
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By tradition, the elders choose the date for the wedding. Usually, it must fall on a waxing moon. But today, the couple may decide on their preferred dates for the wedding. After all, it is their wedding. Ours was already planned before the pamamanhikan. Me and my then boyfriend already planned about the date. It was only a matter of discussion whether or not my parents will agree.
When the man visits the woman's family, he brings with them food. After the talk, when agreement has been made, both parties will eat together. This includes the relatives of both families. Starring the occasion is usually lechon. After the salo - salo, the man's family go home leaving their son to the woman's family for a night.
Since I am the only child, it was the first time for the family to experience the occasion. I can't explain the feeling, the emotion, the nervousness. You name it. It was hard for my parents to let me go, I can sense that. My mother even cried. But that's life. You just have to be ready for it.
Thank youfor reading my post!
As always,
@jonabeth
http://www.kasal.com/html/philippine-wedding/wedding-article/pamamanhikan.html