My dear friend, I am glad you shared your pain and struggles. I can't imagine the feelings of rejection because of being born a love child. Things are much different in the US now, but it was once the same here. Mother's were spirited off to unwed mother's homes to give their baby's up for adoption. I have not written about this yet, but early this Spring my sister, a love child that had to be adopted found me and my sister and we are going to finally be able to meet her this year. I found out about her purely by accident as a teenager and tried to find her, but papers were closed. Now our state opened adoption records allowing her to search for her family! It's wonderful to connect to the big sister I always wished I had.
I pray for your financial needs and family's health.