Sincerity and hypocrisy; a war within

(sincerity)

A human being is a complex myriad of emotions and that is putting it mildly.

The real basic level for each of us, is a drive for survival, a drive for the organism to satisfy their needs and appetites. When we look at babies we see little creatures who are wholly dependent upon their mothers. Their primary means of communication is through the expression of noises and facial expressions. They are perfectly transparent.

Later, when babies develop into toddlers, they learn to speak quite simply and in basic language. Their learning rate is phenomenal and they are able to start communication; not only to express themselves to others but to start to receive ideas from others. Difficult concepts such as sharing are taught. Of course this can only occur after the toddler understands ownership. This is where internal conflict begins, ME verses YOU. When the child acts in a way that is displeasing to the parent or authority figure, punishment can occur. Only when the child gets older and starts to understand concepts such as manipulation and cunning by observation, does the child learn the concept of dishonesty. The child will learn of the greater risks of being caught and being punished even more severely, yet the short term benefits could be far greater if they can escape the consequences of being caught.

Thus the importance of parental example, especially for when the child is younger because mimicking is such an important learning tool. To me this is when hypocrisy is learned; presenting one face to their parents and another face to their friends. Adolescence is when the self-interest of the teenager becomes paramount. If the teenager can learn the ultimate disadvantages of hypocrisy to their character, then they will be able to have a well-adjusted lifestyle and have the benefits of honesty.

It sounds very preachy doesn’t it? But human beings are socially inter-connected creatures and just as traffic laws are ultimately beneficial for the whole of society, so too are codes of conduct. To go back to the traffic laws example, there may be occasions where the impatient driver (who desperately needs to get to his destination), will have to obey the rules for the benefit of the whole community and not just their selfish wants.

I googled and found the following on www.dictionary.com

hyp·o·crite
[ hip- uh-krit]
NOUN
1.
a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2.
a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

I can remember being in an English class and the origins of this word were given to us. It is from Greek and it means an actor. The actors used to use large masks to show the audience what character they were playing. The audience could then more easily understand what the actors were trying to portray. From there it is well understood to mean the actor was pretending to be someone else.

There are those who realise that conforming to the values of a certain society that they belong to can have benefits. This applies particularly to religion and to politics. There are those who can derive a financial benefit and/or a power/popularity benefit. I don’t personally understand those who are driven to be “recognised” by others. These folks can be seen in religious communities where they like to “look good”, to be competitively “better” than their fellow aspiring peers.

I am a Christian and try to follow the expected code of conduct. By profession I am an accountant and I work in the business world. Particularly notorious to me are some who profess to be Christian businessmen. They trumpet their belief loudly while trying to take advantage of others for their own benefit. A friend of mine tells with a grin that whenever he hears another proclaim this fact, he puts his hand over his wallet “to keep it safe”.

Another example of hypocrisy is the “Sunday face”. This is where a person who has been skilfully leading the “rat race” by personal “example” for the previous six days of the week, has now put that face away and put on his “Sunday face”. However, tomorrow arrives and back to his usual conduct. Of course this applies to too many people, not only Christian.

The louder the self-acclaim, the more sceptical I will be.

Politics and public office attracts a special breed, doesn’t it? Too seldom do these “servants” serve. The very nature of being a servant often precludes publicity and self-interest.

The trait of sincerity is admired more than it is followed.

Sincerity equates to honesty in my opinion. When things go wrong as they sometimes can, do we “take the rap” or like many bosses, pass the blame on to others? When things are good, or success is achieved, then those same fellows rush to take the praise or glory that belongs to their subordinates.

Sincerity is something worthy of learning. I believe you can learn it! Sincerity links into communication skills, it involves looking another in the eyes when speaking or (even better) when listening. I have a problem of listening sincerely because eye contact is not maintained with the speaker.

Another key element of listening is to hear before answering. My wife sees that often I am considering my reply before she has even finished speaking!

So here we have the continual conflict of hypocrisy and sincerity.
To me the essence is having a mask (to protect our sensitive innermost feelings) and its opposite, being exposed emotionally via honesty.

This is the biggest struggle the developing young adult/ teenager will face when developing relationships with others, particularly those they love or want to love. Their hope is to be loved in turn.
It is like learning to ride a bicycle. The reward is exhilarating; the loss is agony.

Courage is essential.