Determining One's Value in Life

How does one determine their value & what is the proper way to do so? Well....

I am by no means a perfect person. I'm merely writing down my thoughts and observations from my experiences in life in the hopes that it will educate, inspire and/or assist someone in their own journey throughout this world. Everyone has their own obstacles and issues to overcome, whether they be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, and finding the time to delve into your personal issues can be daunting while you're attempting to live out your life. Daily pressures, expectations placed upon you by others & basic survival frequently distract us from realizing our own value as a person. Most of the time we're SO caught up in our own ego and BS that we don't have the time for self-reflection.

One of my favorite films is 'It's A Wonderful Life' (1946). If you're unfamiliar with the film it's about a man who is down on his luck and believes that his friends, family & the world at large would be better off if he'd never existed. He doesn't believe in himself and he doesn't believe that he brings value to other peoples lives. In the end of the film, (not giving out spoilers- I mean the film IS 71 years old now) the main character realizes what an impact he has had on all those around him. The seemingly minor daily acts that he'd done throughout his life were monumental to individuals and integral to the entire community thriving and being a comfortable and attractive place to live. My point is that YOU can have a similar value. Having a positive impact is not limited to famous people and great leaders. Some of the most positively impactful people I know live simple lives away from the spotlight yet they understand the value that they're bringing to others and to the world.

I am not a therapist by trade but I've spoken to enough friends, family members, colleagues, religious leaders, teachers, famous personalities & average joes to know that deep down we all struggle with the same insecurities. Whether a person is perceived as moral or immoral, good or bad, we are all human beings and we are doing the best that we can & the best that we know how.

You might be a person who knows their own value, and if so, good for you. Or you might be a person that is struggling to find their own value and their place in this world. I struggled to find my own value for a long time and then it came to me slowly and repetitively, like ocean waves coming to shore. In finding your own value you are also helping others find their value. It doesn't all have to be lovey dovey either. Sometimes a simple hug can turn someones life around OR it could be a big fight where new information is revealed that needed to be talked about. Baby steps as Bob Whiley says in 'What About Bob?' (1991) is the way to go. If you're looking to climb a mountain, in this case it is finding yourself, your value and your place in the world, you've gotta go one step at a time.

Now you could find the greatest book or tutorial, the greatest mentor or therapist or the greatest companion to assist you in your journey. But always remember that deep down...no one knows you better than you know yourself. You're going to be finding the answers on your own. It's been said throughout history and I've found it to be true (this isn't religious mumbo jumbo-it's pretty simple)....the good deeds that you do in life will assist you in finding out who you are and what you deserve, and those goods deeds will come back to you in equal proportion in some way, shape or form.

You could go out and buy a lonely friend a sandwich one day.....
...and realize that giving of your time is more important than the monetary assistance in buying your friend the sandwich.

You could be in need yourself. Struggling with finding a job. Struggling with your self esteem. And then....
....a simple drink at the bar with an old colleague could lift your spirits and open doors to a new opportunity.

It's easy to get frustrated and become pissed off at the world. It's easy to blame others because you yourself cannot find your own value. As Rocky Balboa said to his son, 'The world aint all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it'. Rocky Balboa (2006) (Another one of my favorites)

My advice from personal experience would be....Do not resist the things that life is throwing at you if you had other plans. Life happens. You've gotta roll with the punches and you've gotta find time for yourself. Especially when it comes to self-reflection. Finding out who you are is extremely important. Maybe you won't turn into a George Bailey (from It's A Wonderful Life) and have such a massive, yet subtle, positive impact on the world. But maybe you will. And it could all start with....

....taking your kids to see the Christmas tree in New York. Or.....

...going for a long walk on the beach by yourself.

You may never really know how great you are so don't ever discount yourself. Be open to finding out who you really are. Walk slowly in life amidst the constant stress of the modern day. And you'll be well on your way to finding your value.

Thanks for reading. I hope that this has added to your day.

-Joe