Not so hot (Comedy Open Mic 24)
I was reading @hitmeasap's article when I came across this Sterling Archer MEME:
It's not so difficult to get your ass fired these days.
In fact it is so burning hot outside I think any common idiot can get their ass fired. I know that unemployment rates are down but those are only numbers. The fact of the matter is people are under employed and this summer may actually have a hard time keeping the job they are already in.
Everyday I've been going to work in this hot summer just watching the clock and I've come to realize it is so easy to get your ass fired. The easiest way may be to eat a can of beans and use a lighter to catch the released methane fart bombs. If this doesn't work, there are some other known ways to get your ass fired. This gif gives us one suggestion:
Back in the days...
...we would never dare even think of complaining about the heat. If we did...
Even if we had a headache or if we were fainting of heat stroke the conversation went like this.
Me: "Dad, I can't stand the heat anymore. I'm dizzy and have a headache."
Dad: "Fine, you want an ass burn?"
When I got ready to go to work this morning...
...my boy was still sleeping. I kissed him and said, “Get ready for school now.”
I came back from work and my kid was still laying there.
I said, “Didn’t you go to school?”
He said, “Yesterday our teacher taught us to be careful in case of a fire and always touch the door to feel if it is hot before opening it. She said if the door is too hot to touch we should not open it. I touched the door this morning and it was burning so I went back to sleep.”
Checking the door for heat SOURCE
I say, "It's hot out here!"
You say, "How hot is it?"
"It's hot our here!"
"How hot is it?"
"It's so hot that all my plants in the window died when I turned off the a/c."
"That's nothing! It's so hot in my place that when I turn off the a/c even the cockroaches die from heat exhaustion."
"How hot is it?"
"It's so hot that the frog could never get to the other side of the street. He was dried up half-way."
"Well... he got farther than your jokes."
"How hot is it?"
"It is so hot that my wife lays down naked right next to me but I don’t move a muscle except to turn the ac down one notch cooler.
That's not so hot.
I nominate @moderndayhippie and @oddbot to try a post in comedyopenmic. Enjoy your summer!!
Love,
It's so hot, your Texan cows don't need BBQing :)
Peace.
Hahahahaha :-D My first LOL today. Thank you @bobaphet!! My kids looked at the flat frog in the middle of the sidewalk today and said, "Dad, we aren't gonna eat this.... are we?"
When I was in Perth, I have literally fried an egg on the BBQ plate, without needing to light the BBQ.
Peace.
Right. I know a lot of people who left Perth and maybe that was part of the reason. But it must nice in Perth now. The same thing is happening Korea. They are frying Samgyupsal pork with just a pan in the sun. They fat begins to boil and it cooks in its own fat.
lol! 👍
Lol made my day. Thanks.
Anytime @mawit07,
I guess I could just cool off by checking out fast food crypto. I ended up falling asleep immediately.
Hi mineopoly,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating, this will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied.
Judges:
If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Thank you openmic and all the supporters and judges that work so hard to put this together. Best of health and tiding of joy ^^
howdy there today on this hot Monday! except for once it's not hot here, only supposed to get up to 88 today, they're calling it a cold front. great laughs sir, wonderful way to start the week!
It's like North America, Asia and Europe play a rally for serve ping pong game with the weather systems. Your cold front came because our warm front moved up toward the north pole. Now the only time the temperature is below 90 is 5am. I have only seem heat like this in India.
Somehow I responded with the same comment twice.
Get the papers
Get the papers
I sound like Tony two times repeating myself. But at least it's my original comment I'm copying not some other dude copying my words and using them to comment on another post.
6 more days left before I am out of the Korean summer.
6 days! how many hours? lol.
I don't have the energy to count.
haha! I understand, but you guys have air conditioning right?
mineopoly! did you live in India too?
Only a few weeks more than ten years ago.
oh ok, and it was miserable?
I liked it all except the afternoon heat:)
sounds like you've been in alot of heat my friend, but you are from the cold climate of Chicago right?
does that sound appealing now, at least in terms of weather?
I really like to visit Chicago in the summer, that's why I am going in 5 days. My next posts will be about insects until I get to the airport.
Oh by the way. Here's the poor from that tried to cross the street. Nothing in these jokes is made up. I just thought it wasn't pretty enough to add in the article.
This resumed my life when I still lived in Ecuador. (35 is an ok day.. it gets to 40 easily )
It's over 38 through the night. Today is the worst. I have no idea what the high temperature will be. It is over forty already. Ecuador also has that crazy direct sun that makes it worse. That's why there are Andes :-)
That's what we are all trying to do @sharanaithal. Some of us are successful at having no job and others need a job. One day I will belong to the first group but in the meantime I will enjoy a monthly salary.
Actually, I literally meant being jobless. lol
Wow, you may have to worry about getting a job then.
Why worry 'bout a job...when I have Steemit!
market plunges
fuck.
I need a job.
I heard that in February. Now it's at $1.20
Hold on to your SBD.
#HODL
The fart is the boost.
Thank you @fabian98. This fart may boost me close to 60 rep or get me fired at least.
Better use it to travel and forget the job :)
I could have saved a lot on airline tickets and just flew on methane. I't not to late.
That's true, if you left the alcohol you can get a lot of money.
That's true, if you left
The alcohol you can get
A lot of money.
- fabian98
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.