Comedy Open Mic Round 33 entry: How I pranked my wife at the altar

in #storytimelast year

Sit down, find a chair, have I got a story to tell you! It's a tale of bad ideas, flawless execution, and nary a video camera in sight to record the damn thing. Buckle in, it's time to tell the tale of how I pranked @itsapril at the altar.

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Some of you may know that I'm rather active here on the blockchain. Truthfully, I joined steemit only a few weeks before the biggest event of my life. I got married! And this was the perfect time to do something incredibly, incredibly stupid.

Weddings are a very busy time. You have to coordinate a lot of things with a lot of people in very short order. It's not easy! And with all this coordination, I put the gears in motion to pull a prank during the wedding ceremony. I had some help along the way: My awesome groomsmen!

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It started out in text messages, initially. Basically, I wanted to have us act like @itsapril's wedding band is missing. We'd open a ton of ring boxes, and then the real one would be hiding in the officiant's pocket. At first, my groomsmen thought I was joking around. And then, as K0LD X put it "oh shit, he's actually serious."

And it was at this moment that they started to worry about procuring a coffin for me. But I pressed on nonetheless! I roped in our officiant, and also talked to my dad! There's a reason for it, I'm getting there. Follow with me. We set our plans up, I did the handoff before the wedding started, and then...

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The moment of truth! We're going through the start of the ceremony, and things are going as planned until the part where we exchange bands. The officiant starts with me.

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I take the ring box from my best man, Bob. I open it up, there's no ring! I close it and open it a couple more times, wondering what happened to the ring. I motion to the audience to hang on a second, and then I pull another ring box out of my tuxedo. This box was empty, too! Now, it was at this point that the bridesmaids are freaking out. How could we lose her ring? That shit's expensive! By the time the second box came out, the audience realized that this was a joke (I come from a long line of pranksters), and to enjoy the ride.

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I turn back to Bob, ask him what he did with the ring. He pulls another ring pouch out of his back pocket, and sure enough, that one's empty as well! I turn to the other groomsmen, K0LDX and Pacmandu, and ask them for help. They pull out pouches of their own. What they didn't tell me? they put coins in their pouches! Which they dropped all over the stage! So the audience hears this loud clang, and they think it's other rings!

My dad was playing cello for my ceremony, so he's up on stage behind the bridesmaids. He yells "I got one for ya!" and tosses a ring box my way. It completely misses me, and lands on the ground down below. So now I jump off the stage, go over to that box, pick it up, and shout, "Hey, this one's empty too!"

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And the audience is losing it. They think this is hilarious. @itsapril figured out it was a prank within the first 15 seconds, and so she was laughing and seeing how far we'd take this. Finally, the officiant says "Here, I got one you can use."

As he hands it to me, @itsapril asks, "Is that actually our ring?"

"Yes it is," I reply.

After all that was done, I just had to take a bow. How could I not? I had gotten away with pranking my wife at our own wedding. And it was hilarious!

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One of @itsapril's brothers got engaged shortly after we got married, and when the time came for the groom's dinner, we all went around and said our congratulations to the couple.

"Tom," I said, "after the last wedding ceremony in our family, I'm looking forward to great things at your ceremony."

And the rest of our family laughed. They knew exactly what I was talking about. He couldn't do it, the pussy. He chickened out! I guess that's what I get for marrying into a family that are not pranksters.

But anyways, that's my wedding prank story. I hope you all enjoyed it, upvote and resteem if you think I'm a lucky man. Tell the world about my antics! I'm putting this into the current @comedyopenmic contest, so vote for me!

I'm gonna tag @volderhein and @mardax, and challenge them to take part in Comedy Open Mic. Get to it, boys!

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Hi ddrfr33k,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
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I was a little worried at the idea of pranks in your wedding day, but that sounds like you made it quite a day to remember! I think you probably put too much pressure on your brother-in-law. How could he compare without copying?

Pfft, he's fine. He knew I was joking around.

That is awesome. She had to be sweating bullets when the first box was empty. lol

The first box was the shock. The second was the clue that this is a joke. Everything else is "there is a point where we should have stopped and we have clearly crossed it. But let's keep going and see what happens."

I can imagine your wife was thinking at the beginning: If you lost, I'm gonna kill ya! :D Oh boy! You really dare! To do this on your wedding day, you really must be coming from a family of prankers :D who else would have ever thought about it? Most men are completely stressed out during their wedding day and you? You think about jokes :)

Well, it was a good one! And she married you anyway, so she really must love you :)

Congratulations on your curie vote!

Actually, she was ready to pull her engagement ring off and use that as a backup. Then she caught wise by the second box. You can see her laughter in one of the pictures above.

Hi ddrfr33k,

This post was nominated by a @curie curator to be featured in an upcoming Author Showcase that will be posted Late Saturday/Early Sunday (U.S. time) on the @curie blog.

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Fantastic! I look forward to the post!

If you want to point people to my dLive and Vimm streams, that would be great.
https://vimm.tv/@ddrfr33k
https://dlive.tv/ddrfr33k

Hey, no fair! Wedding day is the bride's day and you stole the spotlight! I bet she holds a chuckly grudge.

You're such a joker, huh? Hahaha. No doubt they took this to certain limits, although it could have been worse, but it is fine because in a wedding there can not be so much irony.

Congratulations.

Your wife is beautiful! She must be clever and smart to have figured the prank out in seconds. Others may have already been panicking at that.

What a way to make a lifetime event more memorable. Well, at least you did not play amnesia on your wedding day! 😂

Oh god, I don't think my family would enjoy those games. I'm the only one on my side that really likes horror games.

Tell them to learn from you instead. 😀

should have hide it in your beard :P

Ooh, no. That's asking for it to get stuck.

You're brave, I can not imagine your wife's reaction, she sure felt like hanging you!

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Nope, she figured out it wasa pack by the time the second box came out. By the end, she was laughing along with everyone else. I'll chalk that up as a win!

Hi ddrfr33k,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.

Yay! Thank you so much!

Hi ddrfr33k,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.

That could be the most dramatic moment when you noticed that there were no rings. I can't really imagine what would have happen if it would be my wedding. Luckily at yours because of all those boxes it was already like a comedy and luckily you all have had fun and happy end. Very entertaining story :)

I can call it 'a story of missing ring' hahaha...what a wonderful way to make an important day in your life more memorable. It become a happy moments for a lifetime. You both gonna cherish it for long and enjoy the missing ring prank.....you set it and executed it perfectly @ddrfr33k well presented too.....

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Yeah, it couldn't have gone any better. I'm very, very happy with the results.

Indeed it was a funniest memory. You know in India, the groom and bride use to exchange garlands on their neck. The groom and and his friends always make sure that groom never bent to get the garlands on his neck..a kind of prank too and people enjoy it....

Bte..congratulation on your wedding...👍

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I should have mentioned that I'm 197cm tall. I could pull all kinds of pranks with my height!

What a memorable wedding @ddrfr33k :) Love the smiles and laughter on your wife face! :) She is very pretty. Both of you look amazing!

I think the best part would be when the officiant pulls out a box and your wife asks "is that actually our ring?". She did not expect that right? :D

She thought the prank was still ongoing!

😂😂😂 So happy for the both of you. Congratulations!!! :)

PffffffT OH MY GOD, LOL. I wouldn't dare to do this at all ever, kek.

I would need balls of steel to do something like this, lol.

But hey that was pretty funny and unique, I loved the post my dude!

Btw when did you get married?

December 29, 2017.

hahaha! sir ddrfr33k! what an epic prank! I've never heard of one like this. it's amazing. And your wife has to have the best sense of humor in the world! lol. great job , great story and great post!

Well, I'm certainly not the first person to pull this prank. But they didn't get paid for telling their stories!

haha! you are very clever ddrfr33k! I have to hand it to you you did a great job and it made a great post as well!