People Pleaser VS Egoist.

in #story5 years ago (edited)

Are you familiar with people who use complaints as daily exercise? I do. These people were mostly the ones telling me how egotistical it is to live the life I choose. And I accept it.

They would always point out my weaknesses, or something that is wrong with me. A lot of times people told me that I have to change this-this this and this, coming from their own perceptions of life, without asking any questions. They would just throw their advice and expect me to act on it. If I didn't, they would tell me I am not good enough to be with, not capable to work with or cooperate. And these people have to stay entirely out of my energetic field.

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After I did some clearing in my closet, cell phone, and social circle, I've realized, there are very few people who stayed. An interesting fact is - their level of wealth (emotional, relationship, money, social wealth) is much higher than mine. They are my teachers. There are also people I love, my parents for instance, however, it doesn't mean they will stay in my life if they cross my boundaries or project their own drama on me. I can love them unconditionally, remotely, without being in touch.

At the end of the day, the only person I want to impress - is myself. That's why If there is anyone I want to be around or help, it is only those who are willing to be better, live happier, learn and enjoy the process. If they ask me for anything I'm willing to give, those things won't be coming from my own sacrifice or lack, but from overflowing love and abundance.

A lot of people are trying so hard to please others because they expect something in return, seeking validation or respect. And if others treat them differently or give nothing in return after everything they've done for them, they start complaining and insulting them, for not being there for them, for not helping or causing obstacles. And not only do they blame others, but they also blame politics, weather, parents, lack of money, not enough jobs, other people opinions, or somebody who didn't pay them. They have this huge list of who is to blame for the life they chose, and more often than not, there is one thing missing from the list… It is them.

Nobody owes anyone anything, you know?

As a conclusion of this article, if you want to take my personal suggestion, in case you are feeling like you are at that kind of situation in life…

Don't fucking please people, please yourself.

Opinions of other people are not a factor to determine whether you are a good or a bad person, whether your actions are coming from love or fear.

At times when I listened to those who told me differently, I ended up sitting there by myself crying, trying to get myself back together, gathering my life piece by piece all over again. And they were not there for me. Those people were not there at all, on the opposite, they would be doing things to cause even more pain for themselves and others.

Eventually, I've learned that self-love mirrors more love into my life. And love is everything: it's abundance, it's positive people, its new possibilities, it's emotional joy and wealth- mindset, it's spirituality and confidence in being who I am, it's positive moments and happy coincidences, its miracles.

When you do things for others, without sacrificing anything of your own, you're basically doing that because you love yourself so much. You can only give unconditionally out of the overflowing state, out of extra love for yourself. And it makes you feel grateful without expectations or returns.

That is why, taking the path of self-love, might be truly opening a Divinity within you. And from that Divine place, from that point of Zero reality, from that Now moment, you will circulate more happiness, positivity, grace, and gratitude into your life, and then you will see how the world around you shifts into a beautiful picture you have within yourself.

Focus on improving your emotional state of being, and that will become a new picture of your reality.

Written by Anastasia Delore

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This is so true: "Nobody owes anyone anything". Relationships can't be a list of rules and obligations; every relationship must be based on freedom, especially our relationship with ourselves. Many people talk about egoism as it was a bad thing, but it ain't accurate. About that point, I recommend reading The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand. Greetings and thanks for sharing

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