What's the Smile Factor?

in #story5 years ago (edited)

Small children have this amazingly pure and direct connection with their emotions and inner selves. They also have far fewer filters. You immediately know how children are feeling. They display happiness by laughing, running, and yelling. On the flip-side crying and tantrums are the undeniable indicator of their unhappiness and discontent.

As young adults we’re taught early on to “behave”, to suppress or mask our feelings, and to try our best to please others around us. In school we’re rewarded for suppressing feelings and emotions, by being labeled “well-behaved”. This is a label we often earn at the detriment of our own wellbeing.

By the time we’re adults we’ve been taught to be much more complex. We’ve been conditioned to believe it’s perfectly normal to put up with a fair amount of bullshit from others, especially those we deem “superiors”. In the process of all this education and social refinement we sever that direct connection with our inner selves. We lose the ability to recognize and process important signals our emotions are trying to send.


“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” ― Leonardo da Vinci


This can make it very difficult to successfully navigate the adult world because we don't know ourselves. This makes us very easily manipulated by others. It’s one reason so many adults end up emotionally adrift and in in a string of dysfunctional relationships. Our feelings and emotions are often like a canary in the coal mine. They warn us when we’re headed down the wrong path towards toxic or abusive people and situations.

Luckily, all of this conditioning can be unlearned and we can become reacquainted with ourselves. It’s not difficult to begin to get back in touch with our emotions and intuition by re-establishing this important relationship with our inner selves. A great first step is to consciously start paying attention to our emotional state as we’re going about our day-to-day lives.

I’ll warn you, what I’m about to tell you sounds corny as hell and may register as a five or maybe even six out of ten on the Woo-Woo Meter. But I’ll share it anyway simply because it works.


“Where you live shapes how you see the whole world, but when you see the world it shapes how you see yourself.” ― Richie Norton"


The first step in re-establishing that connection with our true selves is evaluating things by what I call the “smile factor”.

Have you ever suddenly noticed your face was hurting only to realize it was because you were smiling and didn’t know it? This kind of effortless smile is usually triggered by people or things that take you out of your head, make you live in the moment, fill you with confidence and/or absolute joy. These are activities or social situations where you feel like you’re in synch with your surroundings and everything just seems to flow. This is the epitome, things that fall into this category have a smile factor of ten (SF 10).

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have the lowly smile factor of one (SF 1). These are certain situations or people that fill you with negative feelings like dread, anger, anxiety, and self-doubt. When you find yourself in this realm you have to consciously force yourself to smile. In the company of these people or in these situations you are constantly in your head, double thinking everything from the words you say to actions you do.

Each day life presents us with an endless string of people and situations that can fall anywhere on this smile factor scale of 1-to-10. If we want to maximize our life experience we must learn to evaluate precisely why these things make us feel the way we do. Being conscious of this smile factor isn’t the ultimate answer but is a great place to begin your journey of introspection.

After nearly a quarter of a century of meditation I believe that this life is a schoolhouse and the main subject we’re here to learn about is ourselves. Life tends to put us in very similar situations or relationships time and time again until we fully understand them. There are a great many valuable lessons to be learned just by simply being more mindful and by vowing not to blindly exist like a robot in autonomous mode. Life is meant to be lived deeply, in broad strokes, and we’re meant to become masters of ourselves. If you make it a priority self-mastery can be achieved and it costs nothing but our time and attention. The end result, a happy and fulfilling life, is more than worth the effort.

Thank you for reading,

Eric

(Gif sourced from Giphy.com)


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Awesome article my friend, live life to the fullest, smiles are free!!😎✌❤
upped and resteemed

Your welcome! 😀😄

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We are a strange bunch aren't we, us humans! You're so right about us being taught to suppress our real feelings all the time, not to be ourself! No wonder the world is so troubled! And really something that I've seen happen over and over with myself, is being put in situations where I've avoided dealing with issues as I hate upsetting the cart, yet that same kind of situation will rear its ugly head again! Yes, I do believe we're here to learn about ourself and our relationship with others.
We need much more of those SF 10's moments!

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A motivating article.we can not let go of our inner child, we must preserve ingenuity, amazement and live life without many complications, @ericvancewalton... Smiling opens many doors and it's nice to walk through life giving away smiles and sharing with smiling people. To enjoy the journey called life that is sometimes very short. Greetings, friend.

@ericvancewalton, When time Passage moves then slowly human beings becomes more responsible towards their situations and this journey make many human beings great actors and in my opinion by acting it doesn't mean that for wrong, many times people express opposite way to balance the situations or to keep something in good state. Stay blessed.

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I love this so much :) It's so true, I see it in people around me all the time, you know, watch them transform and become all serious and "adult"...makes them smile less, though, so kinda sucks. Or give a fake sorta smile.

We all do it, ain't gonna lie, but you're right. If you keep an eye on it and continuously work toward being in the moment and out of your head, eventually you do get better at it :D
Great post!

Thank you!! You're so right, lots of people are caught up in the "rat race" or the never-ending quest to acquire more stuff and behave how they think they need to to get what they want. I certainly went through that phase for a few years in the corporate world when I was younger and it never quite worked for me.

If you're lucky, adulthood strips off all those layers of bullshit and leads you closer to the core of the person you were when you were a child.

I'm working on a series of articles like this for the sequel to my first meditation book. I want to write something that's super practical and can easy add value to people's lives.

I appreciate your comment! It feels good to know people are still reading posts around here!

That sounds really cool. It seems to me that a large chunk of these articles/books are way too vague and just too hard for the individual to process and apply in their actual life...So, it's great you're doing something more helpful :D

I agree, you don't need stuff, you need memories. And sure, those take money, too, but it's surprising how much you can save if you cut out all the unnecessary spending from your life. Not to mention the rat race keeps you wanting to buy more, so even if you get a nice pair of jeans today, you'll still want something new next week. It's never enough, it's an easy pit to fall in.

It feels good to know people are still reading posts around here!

Not all. I've abandoned loads of people because they were just to depressing or miking it or whatever, but I still have a small handful of people whose posts I genuinely enjoy and you happen to be one of those people <3

Your generation is doing a much better job in valuing experiences over material possessions. I feel like Gen X (my generation) started figuring it out in our mid-twenties and thirties. We were teens during the 1980's when "Greed is good." was the motto. The 1980's, here in American, was a decade driven by materialism and excess.

Yes, I think I can almost count on one hand now how many people are reading me and genuinely interacting. I'm glad that you're still interested in what I'm posting!

Coming up on my third Steemit anniversary, for the first time, I can envision beginning to taper off my writing frequency a little bit here and focusing more on curation (I think I've shared that thought with you before). Afterall, I don't want to make one of those dramatic exits and eventual re-entries. Lol.

Enjoy your weekend @honeydue!

Possibly. I think the generation is divided - some value experiences, some are materialists and some are somewhere in between. Some are so used to spending that they treat experiences as just another thing they can buy, you know? Something to check off an invisible list somewhere and it kinda sucks, because they're never content with what they get.

Still, I think there are some changes for the better in my generation in that regard. At least, I can hope :)

Yes, I think it would be more lucrative to focus on curation nowadays, which doesn't seem like a particularly good thing, seeing as we're both writers and I'm sure a strong reader base would be more appreciated...still, it is what it is. Happy (early) Steemversary :D

It makes sense that there are the differing philosophies within that generation. Social media plays a huge role in those people who purchase experiences. Retailers are dialing into that too...we noticed when we were in the UK stores not only advertised but they also make their storefronts "Instagram worthy" by decorating entryways. That hasn't made its way to the US yet as far as I know.

I'm sure I'll keep writing here but may just decrease frequency a bit. I have the short story "Missing Time" done. I'll be posting that in installments soon.

Thanks! July 5th is the official date!

That hasn't made its way to the US yet as far as I know.

Really? I'm surprised. I mean, seeing the madness in EU, I figured the States would be even worse with this IG-craze. Some are just mind-boggling. I know tons of cafes and boutiques that made their name through IG alone. Everyone knows who they are basically because they have such a huge presence on Instagram. Seems unheard of, you know?

I'll be posting that in installments soon.

Really? I can't wait <3 I love your writing! :D

Hello Eric, how are you doing? I like to smile.
smiling makes me more relaxed and can make me stay young. In my religion it is also recommended to always smile and control emotions. Overflowing emotions can increase blood pressure and make life suffer. I'm sure you also like to smile, Eric. That I can see from your face that is calm and looks happy. I like people who are happy and always thank to the God. Enjoy your day, sir.

I'm great @elianaelisma, I hope you are too! You're so right, stress and pressures of the modern world are the most unhealthy things we can deal with. Any way you can find to help insulate yourself from them or eliminate them is a great thing. Thank you so much for the comment and enjoy your day!

Good content, you are right @ericvancewalton, “Life is beautiful if you learn to live.

Amazing article.
And about this line
"Where you live shapes how you see the whole world, but when you see the world it shapes how you see yourself.” ' it is right

smile is a factor of happiness

Little bit funny this doggy..

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