Dear @aboutcoolscience, I enjoyed your article. If you let me, I wanna add some explanation about the aging phenomenon.
Some of the hypothesis that you put forward is as a theory and was never proven except for the telomers which are hexanucleotide repeats at the end of chromosomes.
They are similar to shoelaces, gradually erode and cells with short telomeres die when they reach to Hayflick limitation. However, some factors such as stressful events causing a speed up that. when they are too short, they lose their protective function on the genome. And, as a result, leads to dysregulation of the expression of the genes including genes involved in aging.
Good luck