Help! I have teens that have started dating
And just like that they began to grow up and start dating.... Take me back to when parenting worries were spilled sippy cups, nappy explosions and if they needed a nap!
I remember what I was doing at 15 and 14, I shudder! How did we get here already?
I don't think I am ready or prepared for this.
I envisioned I would be this "cool" mum, not at all even the slightest bit embarrassing for my children. My children's friends would sing the praises of my awesomeness. I would be in touch with their generation and never, ever utter "Well, when I was your age".
The reality isn't exactly what I envisioned....
Turns out, I am not that "cool mom"! I feel creeped out while there is something other than my kidlets stuffed toys sitting on their bed. I cannot help it! I get all weird don't know where to look, start acting strange and become this completely different person.
Yesterday, my son brought over his friend, I could not even make eye contact with the boy once I realized what was actually going on......the boy was into my daughter and she was acting pretty smitten too. This was a set-up!
Now, we have the talking and communication part down with the kids. Our children talk openly and as honestly us. I will never forget the day when my son came beaming through the door declaring with a huge smiling from ear to ear saying "kissing is way harder than I thought it would be but AWESOME!".
Even at 14, he still needed reminding to brush his teeth daily, but he was ready to stick his tongue in another persons mouth? I felt confused.
I keep my resting face on. I wasn't sure how I was meant to respond. Was I supposed to give him a high five and celebrate?
He sat eagerly detailing his first "real kiss" as I began to straighten up on the couch. Here we go, I thought. I'm not sure I am ready for this.
I felt comfort and pride my son came home and was so brutally honest with us and keeping us involved in his world. But now that dark shadow of fear sweeps over me.....after all, I remember what I was up to when "I was his age". But I wasn't walking around with a loaded weapon in my pants!
And then it happened.....my 14 year-old daughter got hit with the "love bug", and he is my sons mate. Making matters even worse he has a motorbike too. Now, don't get me wrong, my son rides his own motorcycle here in Cambodia. It is quite common... .I was actually hoping that would be a deterrent for any girls parents allowing their daughters to date my son and the with costs of maintaining a vehicle he wouldn't be able to afford or have time to be interested in girls..... FAIL! lol.
I certainly don't like the idea of my baby girl hanging onto some teenage boy on the back of his motorcycle. and she won't be allowed to ride with him, helmet or not!
Yep, not the "cool" mum again...
Now call me what you may, but the fears of my son running around with his weapon are nothing compared with the feeling of knowing your daughter wants to spend time with a young boy who is also armed and dangerous.
Now I need to start looking at what artillery I need....
When should I have "the talk" about birth control? Do I wait until I think a relationship looks serious? If we were to look at taking the pill, for example, am I giving her an open pass to go for it? Do I whack a pkt of condoms and throw them in my sons wallet? Oh man, How did the years fly so quickly, how the heck we are here already?
My mother spent most of my childhood drumming into my head about the struggles of teen pregnancy. Not in just parenting a little human and obstacles and challenges you face, but also the way you are judged and feel hurt by an opinionated community.
She spoke truthfully from her heart her ambitions for me, she understood the journey too well having fallen pregnant with me herself at 14 years-old. Maybe this just adds to the anxiety I feel as my gorgeous daughter flips her hair and acts differently around her brothers' friends. I understand teen pregnancy and being raised by teens, I am the product of it.
The fear is real! Why can't they just be babies again?
I had read the date my son/daughter memes and giggled at them, but now this is life, I want to print it out and frame it and put it in the entry of our home. Too much lol? I'm thinking if I just display it everyone knows where they stand from day one.
As I stand here knee high in the depths of teenage love, I don't like it and have no idea what I am doing.
All I do know is that all love all 5 of my gorgeous children with every inch of my heart. How did we even get here already? It was only yesterday I was cradling them in my arms dreaming of our futures.
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Just incase anything happens to your son.... This quote wasn't mine😉
LOL! The list of rules at the end had me in stitches!
My oldest is only 7, but I'm dreading this time... I only hope we will have brought her up to be able to respect and stand up for herself!
I bet you have @bengy <3
I really like your writing style <3 I am so glad I don't have to deal with this just yet hehe.. mine is still in diapers ;)
Enjoy every second of them being small <3 you blink and they are mini adults :( Thank you so much for your kind words, @anouk.nox.
haha this is funny, but it's totally serious too :) My boys are now 20 and 23 and I feel your pain 100%. The first time I found bunched up crunchy socks under my son's bed, I taught him to do his own laundry lol
GAH!!!! This is hilarious lol.....I thought it was the kids that were meant to feel awkward not the parents lol. My son does his own laundry now too ;) lol Please tell me it all changes when they are in their twenties lol.
It totally changes when they're in their 20's @mumma-monza; at least for me it did because they are both out on their own now. Mine are as open with me as yours are with you, so now it's extra great because, although I do miss them, I don't see the day to day "activity" right under my nose haha
Disclaimer: I am not a parent. So everything I say from here on out is probably bullshit.
My oldest step daughter got on the pill at a relatively young age as she was the product of a teen pregnancy and her mom knew the struggles well. Syd asked me to sit in on the discussion the night the decision was made. I thought she wanted moral support. Silly me. She talked for about 2 minutes and said "Tom. What do you have to say?" I honestly don't remember where it all went but I started with "This is not a permit to pull your pants down. This is about protection and care and you'll do well to remember that..." It led to a pretty full and frank discussion among the three of us, and the daughter remembers it to this day (She'll be 50 in November).
With your son, I have no idea. At that age boys really only want two things and when it's time they have no conception or memory of the second. I think I was wired so tight at that age that I didn't blink until a girl drug me over the front seat of her parents '58 chev. Just sayin'
I think maybe you are being a bit too harsh on the motorcycle thing, though at that age the girls that hopped on mine knew they were risking the wrath of their parents. But I'm telling you, they hopped on when the opportunity presented itself.
Great post. And congratulations again on the Currie. You earned it.
You are a parent <3not by birth certificate but by love and support the fact that you stepped up for such an important conversation and took the lead, although you didn't expect it, is commendable.
Gah, the Chevy story lol. Now I am more nervous as my own memories continue to come back lol.
Thank you for your kind words sweetheart <3
Oh my guacamowley. Mama...keep them babies.
Hands covering my eyes on the hair flipping. Waaaahhh I cannot comment properly on this. It's just too much.
Btw, my husband said, baby girl can't date until he's dead. I agree.
Having teenagers is just too much too!! lol. Thank you for your support gorgeous #steemitmamas <3
This is a very entertaining read. I enjoyed reading your anxiety over your teens. At the end of the day, they are going to do what they want. As long as they're being safe, that's probably the best you can hope for.
Thanks @choogirl, glad you got a giggle. You're right, I just have to keep faith like @ijmmai has said. Wish me luck, I still have to face this at least 3 more times lol.
If history is any guide, you won't even care by the last one. I'm the oldest of 4 and a girl, so I got screwed over massively. By the time my youngest brother came through, he could pretty much do what he wanted. I still harbour some resentment about this.
Hahahaha, my eldest to already say this.... I must keep this in mind lol.
The older they get, the scarier the world becomes. Let's face it, we trust our kids, but what about the others :)
You totally get it @ijmmai.
One of mine is backpacking in Australia sincd March 2017... you learn to trust and have faith, but still.
Hi mumma-monza,
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I keep rubbing my eyes to check if this really happened!!! I woke up and it is still there! What a privilege, thank you so, so much <3 Words can not describe the elation I feel. Thank you <3
Such a beautiful post. Very well deserved.
Thank you @johnskotts <3 you are a sweetheart!