My Greatest Fear as a Parent

My son looked happy... I guess. He was staring at me from the door... Then he came over and asked for a hug, saying "Mommy... Meow!"

He is turning 14 and still acting like a kitten. Actually, we loved cats, anywhere we go, we meet cats, we pat cats and we feed cats... Stray cats, home cats and cats in the Cat Cafe.

I promised him that we would go to Purrfect Place again today (May 1st, Labour Day), to play with their pure breed cats (Munchkin, Bengal, Persian and Maine Coon) in the Cafe. Suddenly, my boyfriend wanted to go to another place for a late lunch/hi-tea, away from the Cat Cafe. Specifically to that coffee shop, 10km away.

Oh dear, no time for both. It was 3.30pm and the Cat Cafe is closing at 5pm. Better go to lunch because my boyfriend would have this "hangry" mode. You know, right? Hungry plus angry temper. Cat Cafe can wait and we can go next time anyway.

My conscience kicked in. Am I choosing to please my boyfriend rather than pleasing my son?

We went for lunch and we went home. My son was quiet. My boyfriend went back to his own place. I was a b*tch, I admit.

My son did show disappointment for not able to play with the cats in the Cafe, as I promised. I told him, "It was not a big deal... We could go there anytime, right?"

"Yeah...", he replied. "We can go next time."

He might not realize but for me, as an adult, body language and facial expressions got much easier to interpret as we grow older. I wanted to slap myself to wake up. The greatest fear for me as a parent is my child being unhappy.

What was more heartbreaking? My son did not mind about me dating, at all. He was okay about me being happy. After that holiday, I set my priority to the compass pointing to the right way.

Since then, I never put anyone before my own flesh and blood. He is my number one in my life. I want him to be happy, and educate him how to be happy in his own future undertakings.

We went for river cruise trip together (only given two complimentary tickets from my sister) and he was happy. We went to window shopping together on New Year's eve, he enjoyed that. I taught him to use and understand Steem, so that he could post his gaming interest here.

We shared jokes that no one understood. We bully each other sometimes to entertain ourselves. Talking about entertainment: tonight, we are going to watch a movie together, How to Train Your Dragon 3.

You're always my priority, Ivan.

Playing with charming cats at Purrfect Place.

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