TELL YOUR CHILDREN HOW PROUD YOU ARE AND HOW TO OVERCOME DISAPPOINTMENT.
Praise for children is very important. But it must be done in the right way.
We must not praise all the time as children will start thinking that they can get praise for anything.
How do we praise our children and tell them that we are proud of them.
It does not have to be when they are winning something or stand first in their class. Praise must be given when you see them working hard at something, and really trying to make a good project.
You can say I am proud that you are trying so hard it does make me feel happy when I see you really working hard at something.
But most importantly they must also learn to live with disappointment.
I remember my father telling me more than 60 years ago the secret of disappointment is not showing it, and just try harder next time.
There is nothing worse than a child that sulks or shows that they are disappointed in losing as they have to learn that life does not always work the way they want it to.
No matter how hard they try there might just be someone that has done a bit better. Congratualate this child and make them feel you are glad for them no matter how broken hearted you are.
Everyone has the right to try their best and we cannot always win.
When your child is trying to tell you how they feel listen and say to them it is not the fact that you did not win it is the fact that you really tried and I am proud of you for that.
Do tell them that life does not always work the way we expect it to and that is why we must accept that there will be times, even if we try our best we will not be the best.
Tell them that you have also had disappointments in your life but it is something they have to work through next time it might just be their turn to win at what they are trying to achieve.
The main reason you should do this is that when children are disappointed they sometimes feel like giving up. This is when you tell them that you are really proud that they worked hard and really tried.
The best is never to give up as that will make it a sad thing for you as well as for them.
Giving up is like just deciding it is not worth a try and that is not true they must learn to keep trying.
We are so proud of them even when they do not succeed because they tried hard.
If they then just give up it will never teach them to go on and try again. Life will never be the same when you just give up. The reason to be proud is the fact that they try and try again.
Once they realise that giving up is not the way, they might feel better and they will start succeeding as you carry on until you are successful.
Never tell a child you are proud of him because he ate his food or did something that he normally does. The word proud must be a special word for important effort.
I really hope you understand what I am trying to say to you in my simple way as I found that it really worked with my children. They are grown up now and they are very hard workers and I am very proud of them, but it is something I tell them when they phone and tell me something wonderful that has happened to them or a goal that they had reached.
Teach your children not to show others when they are disappointed, and help them to overcome this disappointment by encouraging them.
By learning this, you will find that when they grow up they will be wonderful children, and they will teach their children in the same way as they know how it works. You were there to teach them the right way. I really hope you agree with me on this as in my case it did work.
Have a wonderful day from me and I hope you have the same feelings as it will work for sure.
Our children are very precious as are our grandchildren and they must be taught how to do things in life because life is not always easy.
Great post dear.
Yes, sometimes we over praise and I like what you wrote "The word proud must be a special word for important effort."
And I also agree with this "But most importantly they must also learn to live with disappointment." I noticed that children like to hear our life stories and when we can relate to what they are feeling at that point in time and let them know it is alright, it will help them grow emotionally. Thank you for yet another amazing write-up on educating our children.
Thank you for your wonderful reply this is exactlly what I was trying to bring across. Have a wonderful day.
Very writing post
Thank you for the sharing Thank you so much My Dear friend
Well this is the main thing... I keep telling my children that how proud I am... This helps us to encourage them in every hurdle of life...
Praise according to ability, teaching children is no easy feat, nice tips hidden in here @bigbear amazing how our parents words of advice still reside in our memories, as if it was yesterday.