Myths and truths about sex -Information for teens

You are at an age where talking about sex can be quite embarrassing and o goodness, even worse if your parents want to talk to you about it.  Earth swallow me please...

But on the other hand you have a lot of questions and are curios and it is much better to have information than not knowing anything about the topic and that way get yourself in trouble.

If you are curios, you will most probably read, or watch a video or talk to your friends, but always remember your friends has the same life experience as you, so even if you are shy, try and talk to an adult you feel comfortable with.  They will give you the correct information. Do not just believe everything you read or see in the movies or on 'youtube'.  Make sure it is a reliable source.

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A lot of people will try and mislead you or objectify girls or boys, but the most important thing you always need to remember is

• sexual feelings are normal
• there is nothing wrong with being curious and wondering about sex and your sexuality
• get information from reputable sources
• it is your body and only you may decide what to do with it
• their is no time limit on when you need to start having sex
• it is a big step and you need to be emotionally ready
• nobody is a 'sex object' and nobody may be treated like that or has the right to treat you like that
• if a boy/girl cannot accept that you do not want to have sex with them and try to change your mind, it is time to move on
• there is nothing wrong with staying a virgin and saving yourself for marriage

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Lets look at a few myth and truths on sex that you may have heard and do not know if you can believe it or not:

Some people, especially if you have never had sex before, will believe that 'real' sex is going to be exactly like in the movies or in pornography - this is not the truth.  In the movie it is actors that are being payed to play a role and the whole setup and romantic side and truth will be 'stretched a bit' to make it more appealing to watch.  You can not know how your first time, or any time will be by watching this.  It will depend on you and your partner and it is a private moment.  Not an acting roll.

Your friends are bragging about their 'conquers' and now you start feeling that everybody is doing it and you must to.  That is not true.  Many people wait before they have sex, and even if everybody were doing it, if you do not feel ready, do not just do it so that you can 'fit in'.

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Many boys believe that it is a girl's responsibility to use a contraceptive.  No, it is not.  You are responsible for your own life, so take care of it and make sure you are NOT having 'unprotected sex.'  We have spoken about STI's and there is also the possibility of the girl getting pregnant, so do you think that leaves the responsibility only up to her??

It is important to get tested for STi's, even if you are not sleeping around.  Are you sure your partner is 'clean' and did not contract it from his/her previous partner?  It only takes one time to have sex with an infected person and you will get it too.

Some teenagers believe that if they do certain things, they will not get pregnant.  Things like standing up while having sex, or doing it in water or having sex for the first time.  This is one of the biggest myths.  Every single time you have 'unprotected sex',  no matter where and how, you stand a chance to get pregnant.  

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You are not worried and not getting tested for STI's because you are sure you would be able to tell if you had one.  Unfortunately some people do not show symptoms, even if they are infected.

Do not fall for the line "I cannot use a condom because I am allergic to latex."  There are latex free condoms on the market, and if a boy does not want to have save sex, then you do not want it at all.

Some people believe in a natural way of contraception and the boy will not ejaculate inside of the girl.  This is not a save method, since there can be pre-ejaculation without the boy knowing it and remember... it only takes ONE sperm to make your pregnant.

Using drugs or alcohol will lower your inhibitions and you will agree to things that you will most probably regret the next day.

If you have had unprotected sex an you are scared you will get pregnant, you can take an emergency contraceptive the next day.  There is a window of about 3-5 days when this pill will still be effective.

I hope you have had some of your questions answered and always remember, be safe if you want to have sex, be ready and do it for the right reasons, not because you want to be 'in' with your friends.  

Be true to yourself.

For extra information on some myths, you can read more on http://www.iwannaknow.org/teens/myths_facts.html

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