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RE: I've Been Banned From Poloniex
I have the same kind of frustration. I found with running and meditation I hit walls, there is no free flow of energy, but if I stay focused and aware I have breakthroughs and when this happens my endurances, skill, and concentration increase.
With art, it's like, " oh shit, this piece isn't turning out, so fuck it, I'm going to finish it anyway the best I can." Many times I produce crap this way, but this is also the place in my mind I find treasures, enhance my skills, and break through creative walls.
I curse a lot when I'm in this space, it's painful, but like running and meditation I feel amazing bliss when I finish, so it's worth the pain.
I hope this helps🌀
At this point in my life if I am running it probably should be in the direction of the emergency room. I am getting back to walking. I have a great affinity with walking but let it slip away. ( a piece I did on walking https://steemit.com/life/@iamwne/a-life-you-can-walk-through) . It is a meditative experience for me in when it is just a simple stroll. I look at things in detail. I notice things I have never seen before. The way the light works in the architecture around me. People interacting. It all seems that I miss so much most of the time.
I have even let the menusha of life take me away from my simple meditative practice is to just simply sit. I don't try to stop my thoughts. For me the experience is much more like watching leaves flowing down a stream. You could never hold on to every leaf as it passes by. For me I simply acknowledge their being and gently move onto the next. I have had a variety of experiences some that border on the mystical in that practice. I am not sure if I feel I hit plateaus or roadblocks in my practice of it. When I sit. I sit. It is a simple approach.
My artwork is problematic for me as I am sure that I over consider it. It is troublesome and unruly. It is hard for me not to be highly critical. I actually feel very insecure about it. For some reason, maybe because I am not a juried or classically trained artist I feel illegitimate. Yet it is how much of my income is derived and I self identify as a freelance artist. Possibly it is because I often sit in envy of the impeccable creativity and technique of others. Or maybe I am just an asshole to myself in this area.
It is quite possibly that there are, "shoulds" attached to it. I am not sure. But I am learning a lot by exercising it. Both in my hard moments with it and those that are lighter I have grown. In the end I guess that is my goal anyway. Insecure or not.