My Entry to - "What does TODAY (April 26, 2021) Mean to You? #ccc 3.45

This is a response to a @wakeupkitty invitation in the contest by @freedomshift

What a boring day!

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Today, or was it yesterday? No, it was definitely today, I dreamed that I was teaching in a massage school and a student by the name of Giorgione was rubbing my feet. Then he said “Teacher, how can you be a tech massage if you are Jewish?”

“Let me put it to you this way, kiddo,” that’s what I tell him in the dream, “first of all nowadays Jews could do anything, thanks for the unprecedented achievement of Biden’s administration, and secondly yes, my parents were Jewish, but that’s a limit of how much Jewish one can squeeze of me. I am totally and unequivocally progressive.”

"Crazy ideas," Alice murmured under her breath. She kept on nodding and smiling.
In her defense, I should notice on the record that Alice’s words didn’t relate to what I was dreaming. Alice thought about having forty teeth in her mouth – four more in the lower jaw and four more in the upper. “All I have to do,” she thought “would be to add the one-inch wide bone graft at the corners on my mouth and then place the two more wisdom teeth.

No one will notice this change but I will become much wiser. I mean, how I cannot with eight more wisdom teeth?”
The only problem now was to find good doctors such as a maxillofacial surgeon, orthodontist, periodontist, prosthodontist, endodontist, and mastodontist.

“It’s ok,” she thought, “once I find at least one of them, she will tell me whether I am on the right track.”

Alice put on her favorite pink dress and white shoes with the middle size heels, took her purse, and went to the street.
To her joy, the third house to the right had the sign “Bjorn Gustafson All kinds of dentistry.”

“How nice,” Alice thought, I don’t even have to go far.

“But is he a skillful dentist?” massage student Giorgione asked and stared at Alice dramatically.

When Alice walked into the dental office, she saw many different chairs and each chair had a different label: surgeon chair, orthodontist chair, periodontist chair, prosthodontist chair, and endodontist chair.

“That’s great,” Alice thought, “If there are so many specialized chairs the doctor must be very skillful.”
Lead by Giorgione’s suspicion Alice asked “Are you a good doctor, Dr. Gustafson?”

“But, of course!” Dr. Gustafson had deep bass, “just look at my mustache!”
Indeed, Dr. Gustafson had a long well-groomed handlebar mustache. It convinced Alice, but only partially.

“Tell me, doctor, you seem to have a lot of experience, but why don’t you have a mastodontist chair?”

“Hm…” Dr. Gustafson rolled up his lips and put an index finger on them. “Indeed? I don’t see it. They must have taken it to the animal section. Nurse, nurse!” he shouted. The nurse didn’t come through. “You cannot get a good help around here!” Dr. Gustafson's face got red, “I am frustrated.”

He rolled up his trousers and Alice noticed that his high socks were all wet.

“Why are you doing this?” Alice now was alarmed. “…and then that lack of mastodontist chair,” she thought. “Can I trust Dr. Gustafson with such complex procedures? After all, it is my mouth we are talking about here!”

“I always do it, when I am irritated, since early childhood. I know this is a bad habit and my mother was trying to rid me of it. But what could my poor mother do? You know, she was a single mother, can you believe it?”

“This is a little bit more information that I need to know,” Alice separated herself from the doctor with the hand gesture.

“You better tell me, doctor, if you can help me with my problem.”

“Ok,” the doctor stopped fidgeting and his socks all dried up. “Tell me, what is your problem?”

When Alice told him Dr. Gustafson popped his eyes and kept them pop for the entire second. “Hm…” he said, “that’ll cost you a pretty penny.”

“Don’t worry,” Alice shook her purse in front of the doctor’s face, “do you hear jingle?”

The doctor lowered his ear to the purse and indeed heard the jingle.

“That’s a nice sound, but I won’t accept just jingle. I need real money.”

Alice opened her purse and showed the doctor her BITCOINS.

“They worth more than gold nowadays, you know.”
The doctor took one of the coins “I’d have to run an analysis on it.” He bit on the coin, then nodded his head several times and said: “Yeah, that’s a pure unaltered crypto.” Then he added “Are you sure this isn’t stolen? Where did you get it?”

Now Alice’s head turned red “but, but, but…” she was collecting her breath, “…how dare you?! The emperor Frantz Josef himself gave me these coins from his own hands!”

“All right, all right” Dr. Gustafson's eyes popped out again, but this time they went right back to their place. “After all, we are talking here about your own jaws!”

Alice now relaxed. She sat at the surgeon's chair and opened her mouth wide. The doctor looked inside her mouth for a long time nodding his head in tack to “Stayin alive” song. Finally, he shook his head decidedly and scratched his head

“Are you sure you want to put the additional teeth at the edges of your mouth?”

“Where else would you put it?”

“I can put it in front.”

“But I already have my teeth here” Alice retorted.

“I’ll make you the second row,” the doctor suggested.

“But in this case, food will get stuck between my teeth, wouldn’t it?”

“Well yes, but that’s why you must brush your teeth after each breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and supper.” The doctor was bending his fingers, “and also after each snack, don’t forget to brush your teeth after snacks. It’s very important!”

“Ok, doctor you’ve convinced me. Tell me something else.”

“What?”

“Will I have a headache during the surgery?”

“A headache?”

“Yes, a headache. You know I don’t like headaches.”

“Well, if you don’t like it, then you won’t have it. After all, I will give you anesthesia.”

“Anesthesia? A girl next door's name is Anesthesia.”

“It cannot be. Her name is probably Anastasia. I’ve never met a girl by the name of Anesthesia.”

“Doctor? How could you talk about things that you don’t know? If I say her name is Anesthesia, it is Anesthesia!!!” Alice’s face became red…”

At this moment I woke up. My feet were cold and my teeth hurt a little on the far left side.

I dressed up and went outside because I was supposed to cut the grass.

However, all the grass was cut. Don’t believe it? Look.

“Giorgione must have done it,” I thought, “or Dr. Gustafson, or at the very least it was Alice.”

Then all of us sat down to eat breakfast: I, Giorgione, Alice, Dr. Gustafson, and even the girl by the name of Anesthesia.

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This is my entry What does TODAY Mean to YOU? 3.45 hosted by @freedomshift

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