RE: Stumbling on Facebook, Reminded why I left (Sarcasm Ahead!!!)
Right there with you. I used to be on the Board of a couple of different charities, and while I don't fault those I served with for their life choices, most of them weren't - and will never be - for me.
Amid discussions about having their latest yacht built in China, or putting marble floors in a frigging beach house, and no, I'm not making that up, I usually made myself scarce and talked with pretty much anyone else, as long as we were discussing something real.
And what the ladies couldn't fathom is that, plain truth, I'd much rather have lived in my tiny Morgan sailboat than in their big glitzy manse. Thanks but no thanks.
And no, I never actually lived in my sailboat, but I threatened to a time or two. ;-)
As for FB, I find it to be mostly a monumental waste of time and effort. I check in with a few people now and then, but mostly I've abandoned it, and I'm happier for it.
I've always been a bit of an odd duck, happy to be my eccentric self, and if someone else doesn't get me, that's okay. I'm not trying to gain converts.
But I'm also not willing to change who I am to suit someone else. I have two exes who "loved" me for who they thought they could mould me into. Guess again.
My motto is to be true to myself. I live in jeans and t-shirts, rarely wear makeup, but I smile. A lot.
My physical therapist today told me that I'm her new goal . . . I tend to do the exercises with my eyes closed and a smile on my face, because I'm using them as a moving meditation.
Because I'd rather tune out than bitch. ;-)
Being true to yourself? It's complicated...
LOLOL!!! Indeed it is, and it is a convoluted and continuing journey, with many missteps along the way.
Thanks for your comment. ;-)
btw you descriptions of the conversations at charity events is spot on, you'd be hard pressed to hear anyone actually expressing any type of genuine empathy or compassion ;)
LOL, I was at a housewarming party for our good friend and chiropractor one day, and was standing alone in the kitchen. A woman I didn't know walked in, and asked how I was doing.
I responded something to the effect that I was exactly at the perfect spot where life had brought me up to that point.
She seemed taken aback that I hadn't given her a canned response, commented that that was too deep for her, and quickly made her escape. It completely blew my mind that just being real with her seemed to scare her so badly, or at the very least, to throw her off kilter.
That said, I did have friends on a couple of the Boards that I could be real with, but they were the exceptions.
So much of it is as you say, the nouveau riche mindset, "My (house, car, portfolio, whatever) is better than (yours, his, hers, whoever)," which simply shows that having money can't buy decency and good manners.
On the other hand, the richest family I ever knew, who were wealthy by anyone's standards, were also among the nicest people I knew, and treated everyone around them with kindness and respect, including servers, shopkeepers and gas station attendants.
That, to me, is the true definition of class: treating others with kindness and respect by default, whether or not they can be of benefit to you.
Too few people exhibit that any more, but I am actually starting to see an upswing.
I'll readily admit to having off days, by my default is to be kind and respectful of others, which is thanks in large part to the example set by my parents and my best friends.
preachin' my language, I get it
seriously ;)