Contest 109: Letting Go

Letting go is one of the most challenging yet necessary experiences of living encounters. This is the act of releasing something or even a situation that has failed. It is also the act of accepting that certain people or memories are meant to be part of your past, excluding your future.

Get this right: to let go is not to forget or stop caring. Rather, it means accepting the reality of change and permitting life to flow naturally. Holding on to what has already failed often creates confusion, pain, and emotional damage. But when we go, we open ourselves to freedom, healing, and peace of mind.

To let go does not mean you're weak or something. On the other hand, it shows strength and maturity. Only courage can help you accept that something or someone you once loved genuinely is no more right for you. Letting go is the act of self-respect, a way of capturing "I deserve peace, not control."

In life, there will always be times when we must release our grip on people or expectations. We must let go of relationships that have failed; it's never easy, but it is always important for personal growth.

Yes, here is my experience: I once had a very close friend; her name was Rita, whom I cherished and loved so much. We literally do everything together and support each other by all means irrespective of the circumstances. We built our friendship on trust, honesty, love, and shared experience. I convinced myself that nothing could ever separate us.

However, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years, and things began to fall apart. We grew older, our goals shifted, and our paths began to move in diverse ways. The friendship that was once filled with good memories slowly became filled with silence and distance. We started to misunderstand each other, and small jokes escalated into hurtful words.

I tried my very best to keep the friendship with the hope that things could return to the way they used to be. But all my efforts proved abortive. The more I held on, the more I felt drained emotionally. I started to observe that the friendship brought me more pain than joy and peace. I became unhappy because the person I once called my most cherished friend felt like a total stranger. This particular realization broke me.

I chose to let go not out of any negative thoughts but out of acceptance. I paused, forcing conversation and expecting the same energy I used to receive. I started focusing on myself. The process was painful; I couldn't stop crying as each night passed by and wished things had ended differently. But as time passed, I began to feel better. I realized that sometimes, to let go doesn't imply you stop caring; it implies you care enough about yourself to walk away from what has failed.

Each day I turned back, I'm always thankful for that experience. I was taught that not every friendship is meant to last till eternity. Some people come into our lives to teach us one thing or the other, either positive or negative. Once those lessons are learned, life moves us in another dimension.

The hardest decision in life is knowing when to let go. It is never clear first. You keep hoping that things will return to their normal state, that people will bear it, or that the pain will vanish. But deep inside, there is always a voice, a quiet persistent voice that tells you when the time draws near. These three strange behaviors from my friend triggered me to let go of the friendship:

• I BEGAN TO LOSE MYSELF:

The hardest part was realizing I was turning into someone I didn't recognize, someone who thinks day and night, pleading for half attention and walking on eggshells just to maintain peace.

• THE EFFORT BECAME ONE-SIDED:

Friendship is a two-way relationship. It demands care, attention, understanding, effort, and support from both parties. I noticed I was the only party trying to save the friendship, always showing signs of remorse even when I'm not guilty, always reaching out via phone calls, text messages, and DMs on social media, and always explaining myself.

I felt exhausted and unfair.

• NO MORE JOY, RATHER PAIN:

I felt anxious and misunderstood whenever I talked to my friend. What used to make me happy now made me question my worth. I missed the peace that we once had and the version of myself that felt safe and loved in that friendship. Letting go of something that once gave you joy and peace begins to break your heart.

Letting go didn't happen automatically. It took me time to activate it. It took me time to heal, forgive, and accept that some endings are blessings in disguise. I eventually found peace not because I did not care any longer, but because I understood that life continues even after good time fall apart.