The Ineffective verbal jousters of STEEM

in #steem6 years ago (edited)
I might get a bit of flack for bringing this up, but I think there is some merit to what I have to say on the subject. I mean, without a doubt all of those who have invested our time into this blockchain feel as part owners, thus we get emotional when we feel it's time to defend it. But, Are we truly being effective with our words?



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Healthy Dialogues


There is nothing revolutionary about the idea of having a healthy disagreement with someone, and as a matter of fact it's a pretty basic ability we should all try develop. I'm obviously flawed just like everyone else, and I would be lying if I said I've never felt emotional about one of my positions, but every time I've felt like reacting gutturally, I've taken a step back and asked myself if I was about to work against my own mission.

In other words, at times when we just get too heated, even if the message is somewhat correct, the words we chose are completely ineffective to convey them. They are wrapped in aggression, personal attacks, and thus miss the mark by miles.

WIthout a doubt not everyone is a diplomat, or has the social adeptness to calculate every phrase, but I also think many who partake of the verbal jousting do so without attempting to measure costs. Why would I make that assertion? Simply because the intellect is there, therefor I can't conclude ignorance, not really.

The Toxic Label


I've seen compelling arguments get dismissed simply with one magical move. If a Steemian with valid concerns is too emotional, yet has brought up some good points, the default move is to label him or her as toxic and completely invalidate everything that was said.

No doubt this can be frustrating and more often that not bring more resentment and somewhat feed a negative cycle of discommunication. I think that to some the fact that I would even use the word resentment is a little too much, but I don't believe it's out of place at all. There is a lot of emotional investment here and it's quite palpable, so to dismiss resentment is not be observant.

I've seen over and over again this very dynamic in action and from where I stand is quite frustrating, as questions go unanswered and sometimes great ideas get discarded. However, I'm not implying the one who "earns" the label, has earned it without merit, since the consequences of words we chose have always existed.

Passion is great but


It cant overrule reason, possibly not ever. And If I'm to be honest, that might exactly what I see happen more often than not. Passionate people allowing themselves to be fully express everything.

I think this is why I can sympathize with some of the members of this community that get labeled as toxic, because It also might be correct to label them as passionate. I certainly have changed my mind over the time I've been here on the nature of different characters, and have come to appreciate some of the ones who dismissed and labeled as "evil", comically enough.

Given the chance...


Our option to hide behind keyboards also allow us some extra room for letting loose, and I can accept that. But, I think it's important to know that behind the avatar and the silly nickname at times there is an actual human being who feels strongly about something.

I often think about all the different concerns I have regarding the future of this blockchain, the ideas that I personally believe could help it grow and regardless if I'm right or wrong, because that's not the point, these ideas have become a driver for this journey of mine.

So if I was given the chance to express them to someone of relevance, someone who has weight of change, I would hope that I can be as prepared as possible. I would hope that I could refrain from dirtying up the waters with emotional jargon and be as pragmatic as possible. However, that is just a mental exercise I practice daily and nothing more.

But, because it's always my intention to leave some food for thought behind as they say, let me ask you; If you were given the chance to talk to Ned, to talk to leadership, if they gave you a good 30 minutes of their time; Are you ready to do so? Would you want to? Do you actually have something constructive to say? Or you would just spend 30 minutes complaining?

You don't have answer me, who am I? I'm in the same boat you are. This question is for you, and you alone.

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i actually wrote on this subject a while back, indirectly.

culturally, we view passionate declarations in a funny way. in business, passion is a no-no, but in religion or politics, passion in an argument is seen by many people as honest. this subconscious judgment is often used by people in power to sway voters/converts who arent thinking logically. they arent "awoke" to the social programming.

women are historically discounted for passionate arguments because of this bias, labeled as "hysterical" or "moody". labeling is used in public to counter effect, to deliver a message that discounts the argument. even if an argument is totally valid and logical, delivering it in a passionate voice is seen as a fault, that the argument could not ever be logical because passion is overt. when women and even men are dispassionate, that counts against them too, because then they are seen as "cold fish".

can we be passionate and logical at the same time? there is nothing to preclude it, other than other peoples judgment and labels.

I think I am sensible if also overly emotional and setimental

EXACTLY! its about time women stop being judged by society when they are conditioned by that same society to exhibit emotional reactions.

If you don't discount Myers Briggs personality types, there is an argument against the combination of passion and logic. The logical types tend to be less emotional, and if this is an accurate classification of behavioral type, it may be where the idea of passion and logic being mutually exclusive originates.

which explains why INTPs are fucked...

Are you an INTP @torico? 😃

yes sorta. i measure about equal between thinking and feeling so i jump the line...

We're twins! Though I don't test for feeling at all. Probably explains a lot. 😂

We NEED names... give us NAMES

Who did it to Whom !!!

i didnt wanna say it dude, but its you...

Yes,@meno lol names. Lol just kidding

It's always me 😎😎

While being passionate we should always consider the respect for each other as humans in discussions. Some cannot separate the two and it may be best to step back because an important consideration is that this is a blockchain and our thought are somewhat immutable given the infrastructure so we want to ensure that we do not regret what we say as they will remain here forever. I would not take these discussions to Steemit Inc as it is best to do collectively instead of individually as game theory would probably provide less weight to individual thoughts (doesn’t mean I don’t have then). Consensus would a more powerful approach and if not provided an opportunity then choosing an ambassador would be a good approach.

Consensus would a more powerful approach and if not provided an opportunity then choosing an ambassador would be a good approach.

I can think of quite a few members of our community that are politically adept to put forth issues.. and some of them do this quite often.

Ok, what did I say this time, lol?

hahahaha nothing brother, not you, not this time, I promise!

If I had half an hour of Ned's time to talk with him I'd start by asking what happened with the flagging system as apart from the curation system that Dan mentioned he was working on shortly before he left Steemit, and I imagine what would follow is 29 and a half minutes of nervous silence from him.

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oh, im not aware of this... i must research this topic, can you share a link you might have about this?

I just wrote a post about it inspired by your introspection!

https://steemit.com/steemit/@baah/a-question-for-ned-4vl5jmay

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I wouldn't have much to add to a conversation about the big picture here, I'm just a passenger on the bus.
As for being passionate about your point of view, it basically falls into the category of "damned if you do, damned if you don't".

we just need to respect each other and use valid arguments. With the respect and kindness we can just read the arguments and when we are ready we can calmly reply. Especially here it's really easy to take your time search the argument if it's valid or not and then reply back

What i think the majority of people are doing is that they try to defend themselves even if they are wrong. That's simple psychology because you don't wanna feel like you are losing and therefore being the loser. When they understand that through this (if they are wrong) they gonna get better people then the world will move forward a bit

Would I have something constructive to say? You bet! Would they listen? Absolutely not. I'll do it my way, it will just take a lot longer.

mr-peanutbutter-feelings-have-value.jpg

I affirm your feelings, your feelings have value.

I feel heard.

I hear that you feel heard.

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Why would I verbally joust when I can just lay siege to your character? 😏

hahahah good point m1, good point...

Why not do both?

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Historically inaccurate? It’s not likely to forces would joust if one is besieged by the other.

Likely, no, but then again we aren't discussing warfare.

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