The amazing power of the spirit in times of chaos

We all at least heard or have been through the notion of why good people have to suffer in this world and I can tell you from my personal experience it is all for GOOD reason. Especially, those who are going through bad times right now due to injustices caused by others or ill circumstances may not feel this to be more than just words of comfort and I get that. However, one can only understand the true meaning of the all so fine ending once the mission of the hardest tests has been completed. Life is a game of a spiritual quest to understand the universe in its core essence and driving force we understand on the surface as love. Though love is not just a feeling or an attitude towards life, it is an intelligence so deep and so vast that it keeps expanding together with the universe. I think it is the reason for the big bang itself. This may sound far fetched but in the quest for the meaning of life I have come more and more to this conclusion. And even more so when you can't feel anything more than negativity, hurt, despair and maybe hate too. It is in the times of crisis we get the chance to grow the most and once we do it just feels better.
The past years I had gone through some of the worst times of my life as much as some of the best ones. After having lost everything from the chance of the love life of my dream, my successful life, my family and friends relationship and with that total anguish and hate that I felt from all sides without any reason other than from my standpoint back then, me having been good to all these people for most of my life. The only thing that really saved me was going within and being determined to complete transformation and victory in the end. Although it was mostly something I was telling myself for the long time of struggle and pain to come. I had to learn the hard way that people where all about what use or value they got out of you or at least in that kind of life and circle I had built then. It hurt, I mean it hurt really bad. It all happened at once and the kind of betrayal I felt from my own family was making me sick of life itself. But everyone has their vantage point of a situation and a story that may not match with our own. Also some people are more intelligent and less intelligent in certain aspects and understanding of life. The life as my family understood was to be strong against the world that is constantly competitive and hard to thrive in. If you show any sort of weakness in terms of not accepting the kinds of evil that will happen especially when it comes to money/ business, you will lose and be eaten alive. They may have meant it well and what hurt the most is that they are very good hearted inside but some very hardened on the outside due to their experience in times where egocentrism was at its peak.
Also because we were so different, I was so different. I had other plans for myself and for the way I wanted the world to be and go a way in the end in which I would give my best share to making the world a better place (needless to say I lacked the courage early on to fully commit). But I always had to hear to stop being so idealistic and the world will never follow. Until I broke. I could not serve two masters. I guess this is the kind of stuff people out there who get hurt and think to themselves why good people have to suffer and why the world and people are so bad also go through. But the truth is you are only as good as you are strong. And being strong means being able to handle those you consider as bad not as bad but as weak. And if you are strong enough to have compassion and handle them in a calm and positive manner then only have you achieved a level of goodness that is at par with what your spirit was set out to do in the first place.
It does not mean one is bad but we do become weaker even if our thoughts tend towards some sort of victim mentality. And let me tell you I was a fighter in general but in my thoughts I always had this complain and this reactiveness of what kind of ungrateful assholes there are always around and that everyone just is out to use me cause they take my kindness for weakness. Kindness without compassion in a centred position is inclined to become weakness however. And the longer you stretch it like I did, and that was due to trying to find all sorts of ways and demeanours to act the right way in order to keep it as a "strength", the worse it becomes. And I broke down at one point, because I could not hold up to this constant stress and act of being strong on the outset but feeling more and more hurt on the inside. And the worst part is that I had to be a man always. We men are not allowed to show weakness, at least not in my "clan". And that weakness is taken completely out of context. Anger, aggression, lies and so on these are the worst kind of weaknesses and yet we accept them as traits to cope with the world instead of working on them as a luring disease.
Highly sensitive people have an even worse time to deal with these issues and it really takes them (us) by the crown jewels.
During my time and work in meditation I have come to KNOW so many amazing things about my spirit and true spiritual powers that even in the worst of times where I still felt the aftermath of the gang hate around me, that it let me thrive. But only let me thrive when I was very honest with myself and the world around me in who I was (at least energetically). As soon as even one vengeful thought came as part of just cause in my head I started to have losses one way or another or something stopped working out. But when I constantly practiced self awareness in how I would respond to any given situation and tried to be authentic and positively strong even in the worst situations, everything worked out just fine.
I fought so long with all the weak people who were set out to get me or were hard wired in their egos, that they became less important in my mind, they had to. Then after years of struggle and absolute faith in the universe, god, god within, love and my own spiritual power I started to rise and manifest almost all the things I would only dream of (in terms of the feeling - lets not use it as the big house, cars, bla bla bla). At times it made me cocky again and boom I fell - instakarma. It was like the universe was telling me yes you get to use this power but you cannot mess with it. We all have it. Today, I measure my success in love and that is the way I will keep going. It is because of this intelligence I am blessed and have no worries about my new friends circle, my loving renewed relationship with my family, my financial situation, my projects and it just keeps going on. It is constant hard work but work I really enjoy and it makes me happy if I can help people rise up and achieve that kind of level as well. The ego part also got satisfied but only because I told myself it is not real. It was a win win and I am thankfully free from it, at least for now. The real blessing is everything else that just keeps manifesting day by day. That is only because Love is real.