I'm in a horrible mood and I want to shout about it

in #speakyourmind6 years ago

I'm at work right now. I have a four freaking hour training for this simple issue tracking software we are switching to. I have ADHD and I can't stand a FOUR HOUR thing. I can't. So I'm sitting at my desk connecting to the web meeting. To hell with it. My manager was attending this way this morning so why not?

They (some higher-up or whatever that doesn't even work on this floor) decided to turn on these super bright fluorescent lights above our desks even though none of the devs like it and we have walls which are all glass anyway...

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I'm disgusted with my job. I'm nothing but a code monkey who is to shut his mouth and do what he is told. I am working on a desktop application and the hiring managers for web positions don't want someone who hasn't been working with Javascript. So I got burned out on applying and interviewing only to hear that they like me as a developer but shucks, you don't have enough recent web experience. Oh that's great, thanks for making me waste tons of time coming to two, several-hour in-person interviews instead of just looking at my resume

This is probably not a great read. Somehow I want to write it anyway.

I'm depressed. I'm really depressed. I don't have anything I'm "into" at the moment. I just un-delegated all my SP from @boomerang because of quickly shrinking returns. I have no idea what I'm going to do after the one-week delay period ends and I get my SP back. I honestly might start powering it all down.

Not that I'll take all of it out. But I'm bored with Steem. I don't have the time to post and comment and curate consistently, and the returns from delegation are too low now.

And just look at this site. Trending and Hot is nonsense, it's just a list of the posts authored by people who spent the most on bot votes. Who cares. It's messy chaos and there is no way to find anything.

No one is building anything good on the UI side for this platform. I know, I know - "Why don't you just do it yourself, Dhouse??" Yeah, I should. But whatever, I'm not right now, and no one else is either, and steemit as it stands now is darn near unusable for anything besides trying to make tons of money.

I'm so sick of the crypto space right now. VeChain and NEO are totally centralized - no one knows, no one cares. All DPoS projects are extremely susceptible to centralization and corruption where the delegates/witnesses vote for each other using the $ they accumulate from being a witness. It seems that at this point, one of the most valuable DPoS projects, Lisk, has delegates who are almost mathematically impossible to remove.

No one cares. Moon lambo moon pluto rocket lambo rich let's get rich

Matrix AI Network is probably a scam, or an overly ambitious project that will never accomplish what they are promising. All the Ogs love it. Storm is basically SwagBucks, except blockchain. #moon though.

NCash (Nucleus Vision) is basically...Well, look how they sell themselves. HOW IS THIS APPEALING?? TO ANYONE????

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OOOoooh cool, NCash can somehow monitor my house, so now the NSA will have someone to gossip about my life with. Or something.

#moon. #lambo. #buy.

Cardano is an $8 BILLION whitepaper with nothing behind it.

#pluto. #1000X. #crypto-life.

Most of these projects are just garbage. Unusable, useless, garbage. Their "value" is simple speculation. Even the "good" ones are frustrating. I've been trying to get a Monero wallet up JUST TO HOLD THE FREAKING COINS and I can't get it running. And this is the "leader" in one of the hottest blockchain spaces right now, privacy.

Mining is fascinating but I don't have a clue how to handle heat and electricity in order to expand my rig to multiple rigs in my basement. And GPU prices are skyrocketing, while coin prices are plummeting. I'm so far in the red that at this rate, I'll owe $ to the blockchain soon. (Actually I'm still in the green but you get the idea).

I'm in a rotten mood and I feel stuck and all the things I've been enjoying seem empty or unreachable. The meds don't seem to be working, the exercise doesn't seem to be working, the interests aren't interesting. I just have to exercise more, eat better, meditate more, work harder, think better, think differently. Do more, push harder.

All I want to do is lie in bed and watch TV.

#moon #lambos

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I hear you. You should most definitely meditate more! 😉
Seriously, everything you are saying is true, but it's only one side of the (crypto)coin
Maybe your mind is saying: If this is true, how can the opposite be true too?
It's fascinating how reality works. It shifts the instant you take a stand in one of its viewpoints. Or you transcend them both and have a good laugh.

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