i could use a hug
I'm not a huggie person.
My baby was at the mechanic to get new cylinder heads. I picked her up and went straight to my teaching studio. What I hoped would be a happy reunion with my car and a happy commute turned out otherwise. I landed at the studio a very stressed out piano teacher. And then my roommate sent a text that he's thinking of moving out during Christmas.
It took a lot to keep my mood in check as my students came in.
I called my mechanic to say I will see him in the morning and had the most nerve wracking drive to return home. Something was loose and pinging about under the hood. I gained attention from fellow commuters who decided to distance themselves from me.
It's been a while since I've had as terrible of a day. It surprised me. I came home flattened.
The most foreign thought came across my mind.
I could use a hug.
My usual self-reliant, sink or swim spirit felt tired. I skipped dinner and went straight to bed mystified that I craved a hug. Friends texted and checked in. I appreciated the comfort and well wishes. I assured everyone that my mechanic would make things right.
I felt more disorientated by the fact that I've hit upon a day where I wished for a hug.
I'm someone who habitually enjoys a life of solitude and enjoys adventures when I walk out my door. I'm happy to make dinner, light a candle and pour mySELF a glass of wine. My friends say I'm the Asian version of Amelie which is my favorite movie.
Roommate: "Are you expecting company?"
JNET: "No, I'm enjoying my own company."
My car is happy again.
And I'm still wondering what's changed about me.
JNET
It is usually when unexpected events come at us showing once again change is the rule, that the hug is most desired. I have often thought that if one boils down the message of many religions, it is the promise of eventually reaching a place where all is well and will remain so. A promise of eluding that never ending change.
As with all things, the need for the hug (for now) will pass. Hope you find one to speed the desire on its way.
The need for the hug passed. It was a curious event. Having low resource credits at the moment delaying my ability to reply, forces me toward more reflection. Desires are like questions for which there are answers. We experience tiredness so that we can be complete through rest. We experience the emotion of injustice because we innately recognize a unifying definition of goodness.
My desiring a hug was confounding. A very foreign thought. It amused and confused me like a dream.
Hmmmmm.
"You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience."
pierre teilhard de chardin
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¯\(ツ)/¯ Will a shrug do? Hope your car and spirit are well soon :-D
My car and spirits are better. Thank you for the shrug :) This is how to do hugs....
((((((Kunschj))))))
I'm glad to hear that news. Thanks for the hug!
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