Little Cherine Book 01 - BPost053
Now I really was puzzled. Dommi would not call the police, I could not think of anyone having reason to call them. I felt Cherine still monitoring me and she wanted to whisk me away. She was in a panic, but I ordered her to leave me alone, I have to know what I am wanted for. I calmed her when I pointed out she can still get me out, whatever happens.
541
At the station there were no charges, no finger printing. They just took me down a dreary corridor and straight to the office of a superior officer. When the door opened and they gestured for me to enter, I already had a suspicion.
Coming to his feet, solemnly he said, “Mr Teller, I apologise. When the car reported a man walking with a small case coming from your address at this time of night, I had a hunch you had problems. Please join me for a cup of Greek coffee.”
Mostly I could only sense curiosity from him, so I relaxed. “I did not know officers of your rank take late night shifts. I’m impressed. Sketo (no sugar) please.”
When his assistant left, I decided to take a chance. “The car did not happen to be there. You had me watched?”
“I did. Nothing adds up about you Mr Teller. I am very curious.” He waved his hands expansively.
“Anything I can do to satisfy that curiosity?” I asked in Greek.
“It is better we talk in English. My assistant is from a village, he is very poorly educated, the only English words he knows are for kaimaki with foreign girls, ‘you dance?’ and ‘fuck fuck?’.” He grinned and I had to grin in response. I felt that same warmth in him I had felt the first time. I remembered Cherine had liked him.
“Ah good, you are relaxing. It is the first step. Party being interrogated must be made to relax, that way they sometimes open up and talk. Makes life much easier, it says so in all the police manuals.”
I grinned, enjoying myself as I played along. “Okay, party being interrogated has relaxed. What do you want to know?”
He gave me a speculative look. “It may be better I confide in you what I know? Maybe then you open up better eh?” I nodded and as the coffee arrived he ordered his assistant to leave us alone, to wait outside. I felt my first stab of fear as I reminded myself that his easy going ways and charm are only a disguise, I sensed he has a sharp mind - and I had already sensed he is not a corrupt cop. A man like him does not become an officer by being soft or stupid.
“You want a cigarette? It goes very well with a Greek coffee. Coffee without a cigarette? Pah!!” he waved his arms. I let him light one for me.
“Right, you are comfortable now, I can start?” I nodded. “You are an artist. You are making very big money. You are on this new thing with computers, internet? Yes, yes. Internet. That neighbour, Alki? He is your employer, but also a close friend. He bought the house after you rented yours, which he also rented for you at the time of the angel story. Is it not strange how a man of his wealth and power devotes himself to a young Englishman?” He waved a hand. “Do not answer, I am not really asking questions.”
He took a sip of his coffee, his eyes fixed on me. “Another friend is the professor? I need not say more about him, except that your mother is now living with him.
But the story, it gets even more curious. Three people rented the house next to you, before your friend Alki bought it. They all became catatonic one night. They were employed by your friend and then enemy and then friend Nicko. You appreciate I am abbreviating everything since you already know all this? Good.
Then Nicko has them transferred to a private clinic and the staff there identify you as a visitor, always with one girl, not always the same one, though the staff cannot identify any of them from photos we’ve shown them. One man you spend time with, he recovers. Name? Tasso. He becomes a friend and visits with his whole family.
Second man recovers and the neighbourhood gossip claims his family say he has changed, not so violent anymore, more sensitive. They are certain his illness changed him.
Third man much later is transferred to another private clinic. When he is released, not long afterwards, he comes to your house and tries to shoot you. The stories are not all believable. Some witnesses say he shot your little girl, Cherine(?), through the heart. You put your arm over her wound and carry her back into the house. Next time you all come out she is fully recovered.
Something else very strange. This man who shot at you, something picks him up and smashes him into trees and walls. The smear of blood on the wall is over seven metres high from the pavement.
542
Do you want me to carry on?”
“I don’t know, is there anything else of interest?”
He let out a roar of laughter and slammed his hand on the desk. “I like you. Anything more of interest.” He laughs again while I am desperately asking Cherine whether she is certain she trusts him. Her fear is colouring her perception and she is no longer certain. I tell her to get them all ready to leave at an instant. I remind her to grab the cheques I left.
“Mr Teller there is a lot more of interest. Three girls that come from nowhere, the last one only days ago.”
“Okay. I get the drift. What has me puzzled is that you must have known most of this before the Petsas story. Why did you keep quiet? Why did you not side with him?”
“That man? He is a skouliki (worm). I know some facts, yet I do not understand them, but I also have a feeling you are not a criminal. You have secrets, but I feel they are not evil secrets, even if you somehow made yourself look evil that day. If not for the man who was killed, I would have kept my curiosity to myself.” He lit another cigarette for both of us. “I am puzzled, you are not a stupid man and neither is Mr Georgiades, and yet you have made so many stupid mistakes, leaving a trail of clues anyone could follow! I cannot make sense of it.”
“And now you want me to satisfy your curiosity?” I asked in an innocent tone. This got another laugh, though I could sense he was not really amused, mostly just surprised by my offer.
“Want, yes, demand, no. I think if I pressed you too hard you would disappear with all your girls and I would be left to die with my curiosity unsatisfied.”
I felt a cold knot of fear grow in me. I tried to calmly ask, “What do you mean disappear?”
He stared at me, now without a smile. For the first time there was a hint of fear in his emoting. “Exactly that. You and your family are seen in Cyprus, but you had not left this country at the time. You are not at home for days or weeks and yet you never left. Your case has caused me a lot of headaches. I have to keep changing the officers in the cars so that they do not get suspicious. For the moment they think I am acting on one of my famous hunches or I am not so well in the head. They hope it is the second I think.”
“How does a man get to your position while staying so good in the heart?” (It sounds better in Greek.)
“You think you are such a good judge of men?”
“Me? No I suck at it. Sorry, it means I am absolutely hopeless. One of the reasons I was kicked out and was walking the streets tonight. No, Cherine vouched for you.”
“The little girl? And you trust her judgement?”
“More than anyone else in this world - or any other.”
“I think I need to meet her again.”
“I’ll ask her, if you are certain. She can be quite scary you know.”
“I can imagine if she is so good that you…” His eyes were bulging and he looked as if he was about to have a heart attack.
“You came my love. Did Dommi okay it?”
“She said our argument is finished until this is settled. Family comes first.”
“But…but.. she just appeared here!!”
543
“And she will just disappear, like a dream. Right now.” She obeyed. This time I was certain he was having a heart attack, but he waved me away. I opened the door and called to his assistant and pretended to pass on a message for more coffee. By the time I sat down he had recovered to a large degree.
“Why are you so shocked? You had already guessed a lot of it.”
“It is not the same as seeing…she really was here?”
“Would you accept an invitation to our house? It would have to be on one strict condition.”
“You make me forget afterwards?”
I grinned. “You’ve obviously been seeing all the right movies. Okay, the truth, only if you feel you have to report us. I promise, we will know, even if you lie to yourself.”
“I would be honoured. Can I ask a question?”
“Shoot, I’ll answer if I can.”
“That boy, was he right? Are you really an angel? Are you from another world?”
“At this moment the girls are all so angry with me they would probably tell you I am the devil. No officer, I am just a human being - a strange one, but that is all I am.”
The coffee arrived and we chatted a while. “I am sorry, you must be wanting to return home, you must be tired, it is nearly morning.”
“Do any hotels register guests at this time?”
“I am sorry, no. You cannot return home?” I did not answer, the reality of my situation hitting me. He must have seen something in my face. “In less than an hour I am off duty. If you can wait, I have a spare bedroom.”
“Thank you. What I would really appreciate is you withdrawing your watchdogs. I do not want my family being under surveillance.”
“Consider it as already having happened.”
I felt depressed now and needed to be on my own, but it was too cold outside. I thought the beach at Tel Aviv might be warm, but the idea of me trying to jump there made me break out in a cold sweat. I had no decent options. I waited and went to his home. He must have phoned his wife for she was waiting for us with a normal Greek breakfast ready for both of us.
She has the warmth of a woman who is loved and cared for. I saw the lines on her face are not those of grief or bitterness, just of time. The love between them, as shown in many small ways by their interactions, was an easy relaxed thing.
When I was shown my room I lay on the bed. I had used my healer and was not sleepy. I waited a while and realised I am not going to have a visitor. I began to re-live the night, trying to understand why Dommi was so angry. Surely she could not have thought I was trying to harm our Wendy? Did she think I was trying to rape her mind? She was in pain and I was trying to help, though I do understand I was wrong to force my help on her. I sensed Dommi was awake.
*Are you angry because I was invading her privacy?* There was no reply. *Well then, at least tell me what time do I bring the cop to our home.* There was no reply for a while, but I could not sense her discussing it with the girls. *You can bring him to our home at four this afternoon.*
I stayed silent for a while until the pain was controllable.
*I will send him to you at four as you say. I have delegated the protector. It will now accept orders from Cherine. I will send the money for rent etc to your account. Goodbye Dommi.*
544
A minute later Cherine tried to call me. I refused to answer. She then appeared - she must have seen the room through my eyes.
“No discussion Cherine. Dominique made the decision and you back her. I will not have you break the family up.”
“I am staying! None of us understand why Dommi is like this.”
“You do that and I will jump - for somewhere I have never been to. You sure you can find me?”
Tears came to her eyes and she jumped. I held on for a few seconds and then the sobs wracked me. I tried to muffle the sounds in my pillow and muted myself from the girls.
I told Savva he should go the house at four and left him. I blocked myself so as to return the hard drive and disks to my office without my loves sensing me, and left the house quickly. I found an empty space hidden from any eyes and gathering my courage in my hands I jumped. I came to on the beach in Cyprus. I hid from a few people walking around until evening and then spent the night walking. Well after midnight, Dommi appeared.
“You have won Robert. The girls have decided they want you back. I am not staying, even though my own daughter refuses to come with me.”
“You can tell them you told me, they probably know already. I am not coming back. They will need you to stay with them.” I walked off.
“That will not work. They will not stay with me. If you do not return, the family breaks up. What will happen to Wendy, Diana and Claudia. Where do they belong if not with you?”
“They belong with us Dommi, with us! Why are you doing this?”
There was no softening in her stance. “I will not live or love anyone who uses their strength to invade my privacy - whatever the reason.”
“Fair enough. So since I cannot redeem myself, I have one more question.” I watched her as she returned my look coldly. “You are free of me. Go live your life. This transgression of mine must have struck deep within you, so I hope you are able to forget me and re-make your life, find someone else to love. I will leave the girls for whatever time you want to visit them. I will do anything you want. Our daughter is not mine, you are her mother.
What I need to know is this. How are we going to unite within the same Kaleidoscope World when we both die? Almost an eternity with you hating me would be more than I could bear. One lifetime is bad enough.”
Her face turned white as a sheet. I left her to her thoughts and wandered on down the beach. I sat and waited for her. I felt her flare up, her anger turn into an ice-cold fury that should have killed me on the spot. I quickly gave an order to the protector to stop her from jumping. I was barely in time. She screamed in frustrated anger and walked off.
I followed, keeping my distance. I did not want this to carry on forever so I neutralised her healer. The next time she tried to call on it, she realised what I have done and turned sharply to look at me, but then, with her mouth tight in anger she walked on.
I saw she was getting close to the old taverna we had eaten at, from where she could soon phone home for help. I sent my healer to disorientate her and jumped ahead of her so that she walked back the way she had come. Finally she sat down. I did not approach. When she got up again, I followed again.
Suddenly she turned around and came towards me. I felt the white hot anger in her and jumped to the other side of her. She swirled, saw me and stood still for a moment. She must have realised the futility of chasing after me and turning her back to the sea she started to walk inland. Her legs collapsed. She tried to raise herself and found she could not. I went to within five metres of her and sat with my back to her.
545
“All you are doing is making me hate you.” I did not reply. She shouted and raged at me and I just sat there with my back to her. Finally she began to weep.
Once she had quietened, I tried to explain myself once more, “I refuse to lose you. Not for something I did because I love Wendy and wanted to help. You have taken this far beyond what is reasonable and if we have to spend a month here, so be it. We do not leave until you open up, show me what it was that I did and why it is so terrible - or at least, why it is so terrible to you. Unless you can show me you truly hate me, that our family means so little to you that you really want to leave, I will not let you leave because of anger blinding you.”
“You fucking coward! You don’t even have the guts to face me.”
“I am only trying to allow you your privacy. This is strange. In the beginning I was the one to make a big issue of how important privacy was. Both you and Cherine did not agree with me. Now you are using my own rules to hang me by. Your anger has not been normal of you, nor is it fair. Without giving me a chance to speak, you give your orders to the girls demanding they leave with you. You must have known the damage and hurt you would cause them was out of proportion to my alleged crime.” She was silent for a long time.
Her voice was bitter and angry. “Wendy tried to keep from you why she was crying and you did not respect her enough to allow her to keep it secret. You used your powers to sneak past her defences.”
“That is the sole accusation you have to make?”
“It is not enough? You want more?”
“No. I am asking, not being sarcastic. I do not want to unravel this problem to find there was something else that was the real cause of all this.”
“That is it.”
“Fine. I will now ask the girls to join us.”
“What! And show them what you have done to me? That you have used your protector against me and taken my healer away from me?”
“I am willing to face that accusation too. Are you willing to face them now?”
When she did not answer I just waited. I saw the moon would be setting soon. I sighed, I could not ask the girls to jump into this half-darkness. We would have to wait for dawn. I sent a message to Cherine that they should sleep. I promised I will call her when it is time for them to come. I made sure they are giving Dommi total privacy and sent a kiss. Cherine began to cry. She was terrified I will lose Dommi the way I am treating her.
*Will you hate me if I do?* *No. But it will still hurt me. It will hurt all of us.* *I cannot think of any other way to get through to her. I cannot let her leave as she wanted to. Someday we would have to live with her hate.* *I heard that bit. It really shook her, she had forgotten. So had I.*
I spent the hours staring off into the false dawn while she dozed off. When she woke up, she found I had brought her clothes and something to eat. It was in a bundle by her, but I still sat with my back to her.
“You had the girls bring this? They saw me like this?”
“No. I jumped home and got the stuff once they were all asleep.”
She tried to sit up and felt her legs were working again. She went behind some bushes and returning changed her clothes. She walked to the edge of the water and washed her face. She returned and stood in front of me, her eyes hard and cold with suppressed anger.
“What is the point of asking the girls to come here. They have already sided with you.”
546
“Okay. What if we bring anyone of your choice. Nicko, Alki, your father. Anyone you want and respect. If you are vindicated, I promise to see to it that you and the girls stay together. If you are not, what then Dommi? I would not have you stay because I was right. I would have you stay only because you love me.”
“Not much chance of that happening anymore.”
“Oh well, at least you did not say ‘no chance of that happening’. Oh Dommi mou, how do I solve this? I cannot bear to lose you.”
She did not reply and sat down, facing the sea with her back to me.
“What happened with Savva, the cop?”
Her voice softened. “Cherine was right. He is very nice. When he found out you were not with us, he just said to us, you are having problems, solve them and he can call me when it suits you.”
“What a strange girl we have there. To have the guts to turn up in his office like that. But I was at least speaking the truth when I told him that I totally respect her judgement of people. I am so useless at it, I do not know what I would do without her to depend on.”
We sat silently as the sun began to warm us up. I reduced the shield of warmth I had placed around her. After about ten minutes I asked, “Do you also trust Cherine like that?”
She must have tried to avoid answering, but finally her shoulders shook and she turned her face to me. She was laughing. It was a bitter laugh. “You are so transparent Robert. It is a trick question. I say I trust her, you then say why do I not trust she chose the right man to love.” She became serious. “Yes, I do trust her. But no judgement of anyone can be trusted when love is involved. She loves you, of course she would judge you as being good.”
“I think you know that it is not true. If I was not worthy of her she would not have loved me, not Cherine who can see into the deepest part of me. That is a strange argument for me to make since I too know I am not worthy of her. Just as I am not worthy of you. It is why I find it so difficult to argue with you, to get you to love me again.”
I gave our problem some thought before continuing, “Dommi, I know you are very angry with me. Maybe you even hate me. But we can work it out if you love me, despite you being so angry with me, since I am willing to do anything you want to make up for what I did. However, if you do not love me, then there is no purpose to all this. If you are willing to look me in the eyes and tell me you do not love me, and mean it, I promise to let you go - I will never bother you again.”
She turned around and stared at me as if seeing me for the first time. She pursed her lips a moment and setting her shoulders back she spoke, her eyes fixed on mine. “Robert I do not love you. I do not love you. It is dead, gone. Forever.”
I tried to keep my face blank, hiding the pain. I ordered the protector to let her go and return her healer to her.
“God forgive you Dominique if you have lied. You have set us on a new course. Go home now, take care of our girls for me. Please do not be so harsh with your love of them. One last thing. I do love you and will not condemn you to spending eternity with me. Go now!”
I got up and walked away. She shouted after me. “Don’t you dare fucking die on me. The girls will hate me. Roberto, please come back.”
I jumped. I was on the beach in Israel. I jumped. I was in her flat in London. I jumped for Australia. It felt as if the scream of Cherine followed me as I disappeared.
I reappeared in the flat, momentum slamming me into the wall, smashing furniture in the way. I ignored the pain and quickly jumped, keeping my eyes closed, fearing Cherine might arrive to stop me. I fell to my knees on the beach in Israel. With eyes still shut tightly I tried to jump to another unknown destination, careful not to visualise photos I’ve seen of the places. I disappeared and came back, slammed onto the pebbly beach and rolled into the water.
547
I must have jumped fifty times hoping my strength would fail me between destinations, since I believed it is the only way I can avoid going to the void as a soul. I could not go anywhere I have never been, I managed to gather momentum that threw me with a force that injured but did not kill. In-between these jumps, I also made jumps to places I could visualise, as staying in the same place would make it easier for my loves to find me. If I had needed to make any movements physically I would have long since been unable to. As I flashed, I sometimes sensed the girls, one or another, but I was jumping so fast I was never long enough at one destination to be sure.
I tried to jump and nothing happened. I felt as if I had burnt out. I kept my eyes shut and tried to hide from my thoughts my whereabouts by concentrating on my pain. If my body was to betray me I had to find another way. In the void Cherine would find and return me. I tried to tell my protector to protect the girls from me.
I did not sense it and only then recalled I had instructed it to stay with Cherine. I felt and saw an explosion blossom in my head. It swiftly grew and fell back upon itself until it imploded, carrying me with it. I felt nor knew anything more.
I do not know for how long I was lost to myself. When I became aware once more, I was trapped in an explosion of pain that would blossom until it collapsed and imploded again and take me with it. It seemed to carry on forever, repeating without pause as I screamed in agony.
I am told Diana found my body, she screamed and collapsed even as the others arrived. They took me home where Cherine tried to get my healer to heal me, but it could not. Not even the flesh wounds. She called on the protector, but it refused to help, even though she could sense it was damaging itself by refusing her. They all tried sending their own healers, but could not even repair one tiny scratch.
Bones had been smashed, pieces sticking out through gaping wounds. Most of my skin had been burnt or abraded so that I was one massive bloody wound. Maria was called in and she forced them to transfer me to her clinic. She created a sterile environment and with drips and whatever else she could use, she tried to compel me to stay alive. My body went into fierce spasms and I died twice while she fought and brought me back. It is likely my protector would have brought me back to life anyway, but she did not know there was such a possibility and did all she could.
I knew nothing of this. I was still being thrust in an endless cyclic repetition of the blossoming and implosion of pain. Gangrene started to eat away at my flesh and Maria wanted to cut off my limbs. Cherine fought her. She used her powers to prevent Maria and the doctor gave up in despair. She decided it would perhaps be kinder to let me die.
By this stage Maria had told them I was catatonic and the girls had managed to break through and sense the nightmare I was living through. In anger Cherine sent it to Dommi. Before Dommi could be hurt it was cast away from her. Cherine had no concern for Dommi and so did not pause to wonder. Dommi had to shake her to force her to listen to her.
“It was the protector Cherine. He has set the protector to watch over us. Look at his gangrene. It was very bad. When it should have killed him the gangrene withdrew, as if he is being cured. Then the gangrene grows back. He should have been dead twenty times over - ask Maria. The protector will not let him die, for it then dies with him and cannot protect us. We have to force it to get his healer to cure him.”
Cherine collapsed onto the floor as her sobs shook her. “How!! I have tried everything. How do we stop this. Oh god Dominique, it would be better for him to die. At least then I could have him with me in our World.”
“We have to go to the void. We must dance into each other so that we are powerful enough as the World to force the protector to bring him to us.”
“What do you want to come with for? He did all this to stop you having to live forever with him, so that you would not have to hate him forever.”
548
Dommi doubled over and sprawled on the floor, with her arms clasped across her chest and her knees pulled up, she wailed with her pain and despair. She knew she had now lost everyone she loves, forever. In her agony she called to me with all the pain and heartbreak in her, called for the one love she still trusted and believed in.
The protector brought it to me. It did not know how to help her and wanted my orders. To do this, to get my attention, it had to freeze the blossoming. It took a long while for my screams to die, for me to pause and wonder at the lack of pain. Slowly the message penetrated my thoughts as the protector and healer forcibly repaired my torn mind. They were acting under the urgency of the call from Dommi and did a rough job, only wanting to enable me to tell them what to do.
I tried to find an answer, but could not. At least, I could not find an answer other than the obvious one. I would have to return. They accepted without any form of judgement, their only criteria being what good it could do for Dommi, even for all the girls who were suffering.
As they began to repair me, Samantha somehow passed through the block and came into my world of pain and darkness. My glorious baby smothered her own despair as she saw the tattered remains, but the instant she realised I am being repaired in a hurry and in a slapdash fashion, she concentrated on forcing them to do a proper job.
I became aware of Samantha being within my mental world and tried to open to her so as to give her my urgent message. *Samantha. You must take me, or a part of me, with you. I must speak to Cherine and Dommi.* *Oh father. You have broken all our hearts. Why did you do this?* Her voice broke with a wail of grief. *Take me Samantha. Now please. I must stop the pain out there.*
She gathered what she could of me within her small size and tried to carry me. Through her eyes I was able to see Cherine and Dommi and the other girls all crying in terror and grief. I reached for Cherine. *What have you done to our Dommi, love?*
Cherine looked up in wonder, not daring to believe. “Robert, is that you. But how?”
They all froze, even Dommi. Samantha tried to give me a shape, to project me, but all she managed was a ghostly form that wavered like smoke in a breeze. Samantha cried in sorrow to me. *I am not strong enough yet. Father, I am so sorry.*
“Cherine, Dommi, oh my sweet girls, all of you. How can you hurt each other. Is there one of you I love less than any other? How can I rest knowing you are not one in your love.”
“I am sorry.” Cherine was crying. “I was so angry, so afraid.”
“Do not tell me, tell Dommi. All of you, go home and live your lives in the love I treasure so much. Leave me here. The protector will keep me alive to the end of your lives so that it may protect you.”
“I will not go back. I will stay here with you.” Sweet Wendy, how strange to see her so defiant.
The others all echoed her. Dommi stood up. “Roberto, if I leave, will you come back. Repair yourself to be with our girls. They need you.”
“No.”
“What must I do then?”
“You must all go home. If you can return to me as one with only love for each other, I will do as you wish then. If you cannot return as one, I have failed. Then let me be.”
They kept returning every day and I refused them. Only Samantha was able to talk with me and be the bearer of my decisions. I thought of asking her how she managed it, but I decided it is part of the mystery of who she is and since it makes me love her even more, I do not have the right to ask. I could feel how quickly she is growing stronger, giving me at least one thing to be happy about.
549
My mind was repaired to the necessary degree; now the protector/healer wanted to heal my body, but I would not allow them, just using them to keep me alive and keep the fire of its pain from me. Before I forget, my question as to how Samantha could break through my block, I think I have seen the answer - and I was right, it does make me love her even more, though it also dismays me.
During this time, when she visited me, I learnt to see a little deeper into her ways of thinking and this is what I learnt about her. Samantha is able to break through my block without having any gifts or powers the other girls don’t have, because she does not feel she has to totally (as an absolute) respect the wishes of the loved one who placed the block. To her, their wellbeing is more important than our rules are to us.
Samantha talked with me for hours on end. She had accepted I would not discuss our present predicament, without my having to refuse any requests for explanations, so she asked questions about the past and about the future; more than any other, even Alki, she wanted all my dreams explained in detail; the further she saw my dreams stretched into the future, the more interested she seemed to be. By trying to make my dreams for my family and friends real for herself, she was also forcing me to make them even more real for myself - and this somehow forced my mind to expand, to look beyond what I had seen. Gradually I came to see in her the one who will help me and someday take over from me under Cherine, and I tried to strengthen her belief in my dreams for our family, for the love I want them to share.
Finally she too rebelled at my stubbornness, angry that I would not return.
Almost in despair, I told her, *If you do not understand, how can I get the others to. All I have ever lived for is my love of all of you. Nothing else has truly mattered to me. Dommi is my love too. I do not ask that she love me. If she does not, then she does not. That is my own grief. But she is also the mother of the family. She is my wife, she is the wife of Cherine. We made a vow and Cherine has broken that vow. She has turned her heart away from Dommi, not because she does not love her, but because she loves me. How can you ask that I live with that?*
She repeated the words to the others. Now the tables were turned. They all, our little loves, looked to Cherine as being the one responsible for keeping me away. Cherine had built up her anger against Dommi to such a high pitch that she could not suddenly reverse herself and she fought her secret battles within herself, unable to force an outcome that would create the changes I was asking for.
At their next visit, the doctor came into the room where they all were. She had Kosta and another doctor with her. They examined me, the other doctor gave his opinion and left. Maria then spoke to the girls, her tone betraying her pain and anger.
“When you first brought him here, Dominique as the only adult amongst you, told me she no longer had the right to speak for Roberto. For your sakes I have kept his body alive, though I do not understand how he has stayed alive for so long, since his body rejects any repairs I try to make.
By keeping him alive we are only prolonging his suffering. I have called in my colleague and Kosta who also loves Roberto. They both agree, we have never seen records of anyone with so many bones shattered, so much of his skin torn or burnt off, with gangrene in every limb, cling to life the way he does. Yet, all medication, any surgery I try, his body rejects it, which proves to me it is his healer blocking our efforts, instead of helping us. It would be cruel to continue treatment against his will, forcing him to continue suffering. I am not going to keep him alive again. If his body fails we will let him go. If you wish to blame me in your hearts for his death, you may do so. I too love him and cannot bear to see him like this anymore.”
As Maria walked out, Kosta looked back at Dommi and they left. Wendy, her eyes sparkling with tears, began to hum a slow sad melody and as it grew in intricacy, so did it plunge deeper into their hearts until the pain and grief became their whole world and Cherine gave out a cry of despair and fell onto Dommi, holding to her tightly. As Dommi, her own tears flowing, held and caressed her, Cherine sobbed. Samantha flew in and showed me what was happening. I looked at the scene with a hunger I had not thought was still within me. Almost before I gave the word, my healer was rushing off. Samantha stayed with me, so I asked my protector to leave me in her care, it should go out and call on the healers of the girls, get them to come in and help mine.
550
When I sensed I would be able to open my eyes, I decided to return to my body, back to consciousness as you would say. None of them saw my eyes open. Kosta walked back in, determined to talk to Dommi. He saw her and Cherine, I think he even sensed their emoting, and waited to give them the time they needed. He glanced at me and saw my eyes upon him. It shocked him, I think he was ready to fall to his knees. He looked at the rest of me and was able to see the changes, some happening in front of his eyes. He cried out and ran away.
By the time he had returned with Maria, all the girls were up against the glass, looking at me and sobbing as if their hearts were breaking. I saw Dommi with her arm around Cherine and I managed a small smile. In response Dommi bowed her head and gave Cherine a kiss.
My repair was not the almost instantaneous one we have grown accustomed to. It took hours, but not one of them was willing to leave, even the babies standing there in the nude until Kosta rushed out and returned with sheets for them to wrap themselves in.
I began to feel a fire burning throughout my whole body. I instantly threw Samantha out and muted myself. What I could not control was my physical body. I tried to contain my moans, but I was soon screaming. Nothing, no healer, no protector could even be called. My whole being was one scream of pain. With every move of a bone, the tenderness of flesh being re-created, it was all sensed by me. I was no longer being protected from the pain. The anguish seemed to continue forever. Suddenly when I had passed my ability to bear it anymore and my spirit seemed ready to flee this hell, the pain was cut off. I lay gasping and sobbing for a long time. None of the girls dared enter and there was no part of me they could touch yet, so it did not matter to me. Once I could, I slowly removed the muting.
Maria and Kosta had entered the partitioned room and stood close to me, on the opposite side, so as not to block the girls. They watched the bones return to be set by unseen forces and get covered by flesh that closed seamlessly. Where there was no skin they watched new skin grow. I was pleased that though they were awed, they did not cross themselves in superstitious dread.
“Maria, Kosta, sorry to have been such a bother. Could you let the girls in now. I will not become infected.”
“Of course. But how can this be happening so fast? Surely even your healer cannot work at so many points at once?”
“The healers of my little loves and my Dommi, they are all helping.”
Dommi heard me and began to weep again quietly. I sent her my love and felt her accept it. I was soon being flooded by so much love by all of them I could not handle it. I had to ask them to have more consideration. Instead of just sending their love to me they should share some of it amongst themselves.
My face was the first to be fully healed and I was able to kiss and be kissed by my loves. Only two of them hung back. Dommi and Claudia. I looked at her and my sorrow must have shown in my eyes as I shut them, for I felt her soft warm lips touch mine. For her I softly whispered in Greek, “I love you.”
“Claudia love,” I teased, “no welcome back kiss?” She stared at me gravely and I saw the fear she was trying to hide. “What has made her afraid of me? None of you have ever feared me before.”
“This has been a traumatic experience for them all Roberto. Be patient.” Kosta intervened.
I grinned at Claudia. “You heard the doctor. If you stay there and I send you a kiss, will you accept it? You do not have to send one back.”
She started to cry and Wendy and Diana went to her. As they held her she let them bring her to me. She tried to force herself to bend down and kiss me. That hurt more than anything. I stopped her.
“No love, don’t. Just put the tip of one finger to my lips for me to kiss, please?” With relief she was too young to hide, she did so and the light butterfly touch was a pain I buried deep within me.
Dommi phoned Alki and asked them to bring me some clothes. When he arrived I saw the lines on his face which the healer had long since wiped away, his eyes dark hollows. Marian saw me and began to weep. She set Meli down on the floor and she projected. Marian had come prepared and gave her a dress to put on. Meli, my dream girl came to my side, tiny teardrops on her lashes.
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)9th April, 2019
* posted on Steemit: 9th April, 2019
@nikosnitza
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