Love Letter to English Teacher and Her Graded Respnse
Dear Ms. Mary,
How’s the summer in Michigan going?! ;)
It feels like just a few days ago when we were in class and you patted my shoulder and said "Pablo you have decent writing but you are soooo lazy".
I also remember finals week when you yelled at me with ur beautiful red lipstick and white Colgate smile and said "SHUT UP" when I was arguing with Rodney. I knew that you were actually flirting with me..
Ms. Mary, I know that it hurts. If only I was a bit older. If only ur name sounded more latin like Maria, then we could be together. Unfortunately, our destinies have conspired like the the two star crozzd lovers Romeo and Julieta.
If I could, I would buy myself a Red convertible Corvette, and I would drive you por todo el mundo.
We would climb up to the top of the pyramids of Egypt, and slide down to the Chilean salt fields. And then I would kiss you while we watch the sunset. I would kiss each of your round, juicy...cheeks. And then slide my fingers into your soft, moist... hair.
We could even have a child together. His name would be Marcello, like your favorite singer of that obscure country band that you played for us.
Then you would finally teach me grammar, and we could work together on a book, which I would publish on the STEEMIT for millions and pay for a yate to take you around.
I love you Ms Mary. Do you love me too?
Pablo
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MS MARY’s Response
Pablo,
I don't live in Michigan, and I don't wear red lipstick. I wear only Cherry and live in Oklahoma.
Unfortunately, regarding your incident with Rodney, I must clarify that anytime that I do use the words “shut up”, it means that I do not want to hear any sound coming through your lips. There is nothing flirty about it. Please seriously STOP.
There is also nothing that I would dislike more than driving a dangerous motor vehicle through unknown lands, with you. No offense, but you are terrible at following directions, and I wonder if you could even follow the directions from the GPS on your smartphone.
I do not plan on having any children, and if I did I wouldn't plan on torturing them by naming them Marcello, by the way.
Pablo, your letter to me deserves a D- on Prior research, a C- in terms of organization and clarity, and a D in proper use of bibliography when quoting Shakespeare.
However, you get an A+ overall for mentioning that I have a Colgate smile.
If you are interested in receiving some more in-depth..feedback, then meet me at my office at 4pm after the first day of school.
Ps. Bring a ruler.
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Sincerely,
Ms. Maria (my grandma was Mexican)