When I was writing a blog at The Institute B social entrepreneur conference in Vancouver, I got an unusual request. Maureen McGrath, Vancouver's own radio call-in adviser, asked me if I wanted to blog for her. I was stunned. Moi?? Blogging about sex? At the time I had been married for 32 years and was raised Catholic. Maureen was the host of The Sunday Night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW, and what the heck did I know about sex? I gave birth to three kids, but was too afraid to even say the word.

Sex Blogger

But in my mind, where I dwell in perennial writer land, I started wondering what would I say if I blogged about sex?

Here’s what I have come up with, boiled down to the essence:

To men, sex, even with someone they adore, can be reduced to rubbing bodies together for a short time to release a build up of tension towards relaxation. In his mind, it’s ”let’s get er done and go to sleep.” Men are physical animals, which is not to say the experience isn’t enhanced when having sex with a partner they love.

For women, sex is an opera, and she is the prima donna who has left her stage clothes on the floor. For the star singer, the scene begins with the planets changing formation as a result of the sensual bonding experience. She sustains the melodic notes in the stellar scenery of exploding eternal love and swirling emotion in an ethereal body temperature bubble bath of colors and fragrance backed by orchestral stars. The whispers, the kisses, the caresses are it.

Men can do sex anytime, anywhere, in any space, and don’t understand why women have to be feeling right. “What’s the big deal if you haven’t had a shower, painted your nails and shaved your legs?” they say. They don’t need the right lighting and set design, the right ambience or atmosphere to suit the scene. Sex is a physical “me want Jane” animal urge.

But this blocks the spotlight for the diva, to whom the best roles are given so she can achieve a heightened emotional pleasure.

Sex is somewhat physical for women and somewhat emotional for men, but mainly physical animalistic urge for males, and the sensual, almost spiritual urge for females.

And, sometimes women only like to participate in one act of the opera, and leave the theater in dramatic fashion, because one scene is so exquisite when enjoyed alone by itself. Not because she doesn’t enjoy the entire show, but not all the time. Sometimes they like extra illumination on one aspect, for variety and splendor, and men don’t understand why they don’t want the whole bohemian rhapsody each time.

The Disparity

The great disparity - sex is a physical release for men, and an iconic experience for women. For this reason, sex has gained way more attention than it deserves.

It consumes an inordinate amount of mental energy and causes a great amount of unneccessary sorrow. If each was willing to meet the other half way, we would seek to understand what we can give to our partner by asking them. Each time. Not once and for all. The singing begins with the prologue, and progresses to the climax and epilogue. Each phase needs presence.

Sex exists mostly in our minds, where fear grows.

By staying connected to our bodies with sex, and freeing our minds of expectations and anger and disappointment and limits, we would enjoy a melodic night at the opera.

Sex is a way to express who we are. Like Art. Music. Beauty. Love.

That is the blog I would have written for the sex show blog.

photos ~ Pixabay