It was the fall semester of 2013 and I sat in the deans office for college of engineering.

'You know 3 F's in a semester means you're out of the program, right?' said the dean.

I had no clue, but I agreed anyways.

'Seriously Trilli, get your shit together, otherwise, you're out of here.'

I left the office disheartened.

How did I end up here?

2 years ago, I was killing it with my grades.

And now, my grades were killing me.

Actually, I know exactly how I got here.

This year, I had figured out public speaking and now kept joining leadership positions.

I volunteered to be the vice president of my fraternity.

I was a co founder of a club known as Bengali Student Association.

And I was creating another club Engineering for Multicultural Students.

In terms of leadership, I was on top of the world.

But in terms of engineering, I was falling behind.

I had gotten 3 F's on exams for 3 of my MOST important engineering classes.

And finishing a semester with 3 F's means that you get kicked out of the engineering program.

That semester, I had to make one of the toughest decisions of my life.

Continue with leadership or get my engineering degree?

I thought about this.

All in all, I realized I came to school to be an engineer.

Everything else was a bonus. But the end of the day, engineering, it was.

So I had to find my replacements for my clubs, train them and then go off into the wind to my studies.

The next few months, I would study 12 hours every day.

I studied like my life was on the line.

My entire life, I wanted to be an engineer growing up.

And in this stage, i'm about to have it taken a way from me.

Nah, not without a fight.

Day in an day out, I would study from morning till night.

• Would test myself in practice problems.
• Would visualize passing my exams.
• Would organize study groups etc.

People were surprised by my work ethic.

But deep inside.

I was operating on fear.

Fear that I would be kicked out of the college of engineering and be forced to start all over.

So I worked my ass off for the next few months.

I built a routine and stuck to it.

Having unwavering faith that I would dig myself out of this mess.

And guess what?

Dig myself out, I did.

At the end of the semester, I finished off with a 3.8 GPA.

That is pretty difficult to do with the engineering field.

Especially someone who sucks with tests and began off with a less that 2.0 GPA.

In many cases, it was a miracle.

I didn't used to believe in miracles.

And I still don't.

I view miracles as being consistent for long enough.

That year, the fear FORCED me to be consistent.

And the consistency FORCED a miracle.

Everyone in the engineering program knew about my situation.

So the fact that I was able to pass made them view me as a mythical figure in the engineering community.

'If Trilston was able to come back from this, then we can solve our problems' they thought.

But it was more than that.

Want to know what it was?

It was having UNWAVERING FAITH in yourself.

Despite having the odds stacked against me, I knew I was going to survive.

No clue how it was going to be, but knew I was going to survive.

And that is how confidence is born.

The top tier confidence is born thru uncertainty.

You just need to know you're capable of doing it vs. having done it before.

What does that mean?

I know for a fact that I never had to turn 3 F's around into a passing average.

But that didn't matter.

I'm alive. That means I am capable of doing it.

That's what confidence is about.

A lot of people are like 'I never done the task, so how am I supposed to be confident?'

Don't matter homie.

The question is: 'are you CAPABLE?'

Every time there is a speech, I ALWAYS volunteer to go first.

Why?

There is a lot of pressure. You are the one who is responsible for setting the tone.

Why do it?

Why not less someone else volunteer?

Because, I know that I am CAPABLE.

Therefore, I view it as my duty to volunteer to go first.

You need to start doing the same.

Where are you right now in this stage of life?

No one is watching, so be truthful.

Then ask yourself are you capable of doing more.

If so, then do it.

Confidence is born from being unsure.

You don't know if you will do a good job.

But asking yourself if you're capable allows you to answer the question with objectivity.

You doing a good job or bad job is not what I asked. Are you CAPABLE is what I asked.

When I knew I was capable of turning my GPA around, I did.

And to this day, whatever I do, if i'm capable of doing it, I will.

Aim to do the same.

Image source

Confidence is something that is exercised into our existence.

Not something that we are born with.

So ask yourself where you stand.

And then apply for races before you are ready.

That's how you level up and have a fun time doing it.

Till Tomorrow.

Trilston💲

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