Still trying to figure out who I am... Care to join me on the trip?

in #self-knowledge2 months ago

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Who am I?


This post is my entry to the initiative posted by @galenkp on HIVE where you can win a delegation of 2000 HP for a month, so I recommend you check it out


Have you ever found yourself doing something that is just way off the tracks of your original intentions? I do it all the time and I think that is something that partially defines my very being.

Not sticking to plans, dealing with situations as they come… that’s kind of my thing. There is some sort of eco-romantic narrative that glues the whole story together, but aside from that it seems a series of random events that follow little logic.

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When I say eco-romantic narrative I mean that usually my actions have the final goal of reaching a life that is in the best possible harmony human life can have with the native ecosystems of wherever I might make my home.

Composting is a a holy ritual to me. If I arrive at a place where there is no compost I will either begin one or take all organic waste produced during my stay in a bag with me. I also encourage eco-bricks but that doesn’t always work out and I don’t sweat it so much.

However, I also break away from the eco-romantic narrative. I sometimes get drunk, spend entire days watching Netflix, eat junk food (at least it's always vegan), and go out dancing in unnecessarily high energy-consuming discotheques.

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Every once in a while, Life presents people to me that go against everything I consider sacred. People who don’t give a shit about the trash they produce, have no respect for non-human animals and sometimes they don’t even care about their fellow humans. I also take my time to share with them and try my best to understand why we have been joined to live that moment.

I am obsessed with wild plants and mushrooms. I would like to know each of their names, edibility and medicinal uses. I tell myself it’s all in the interest of science and improving quality of life through natural means, though I’m probably just trying to find psychedelics and other ways to get high, lol.

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Just kidding,
I care a lot about finding
wild food sources that are friendly
with the planet.

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Though I often seem very serious, I take myself lightly and it’s a rare occasion that I feel I’m absolutely right about anything. Healing my relationship with Nature is important to me but I’m also aware this might all be a simulation or a highly advanced role-playing game with no real transcendence in the cosmic schemes.

Wow, I’m really starting to enjoy this post and trying to define myself. It also makes me realize that I have no clue about who I really am and I’m perfectly fine with that as well.

There are times I go deep into esoterism, reading Tarot and learning about the archetypical nature of reality. During these cycles I meditate more and attempt constantly to lucid dream or astral travel. I’ve only been able to project my astral body twice but I’ve had many powerful lucid dreams.

My life is filled with synchronicities and telepathic communication. I’m not boasting, this is not always positive. Sometimes it torments me to the point I think this might actually be Hell and I’m being punished for all the shit I did in my past lives. But there are other times it manifests as beautiful gifts and I become filled with joy and gratefulness.

Right now, I am in a romantic relationship with someone I’ve known for around 5 years though most of the time we have been friends. We were companions during the first year but our paths fell apart for a lot of reasons that would take quite a good number of characters and words to explain.

She has two daughters and it has been really interesting, challenging and growth-provoking to spend a lot of time with them. I’ve been living with them for a little more than a week and it’s been super intense shifting from feeling a complete outsider and other moments being absolutely at home. But that’s good material for another post.

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The lioness taking care of her cubs so we cross the river safely 💚

For now, I think this covers a lot of the main areas of my life, though I could get into my political views that are varied and many times complex. I think they align a lot with anarchy but that depends on who’s listening.

I feel that when I hang out with anarchists I sound really conservative, but when talking to conservatives I sound like a radical extremist that threatens their every foundation. Maybe that’s due to the fact that I look for balance wherever I go and question everything.

At the end of day, I think I’ll just go with any path that allows us to restore the forests, clean water, having enough time to do the things we really want to do, and eating healthy foods without harming other inhabitants of the land in the process.

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Heroic look to the sky to back up that idea 🤣

Well, if you’ve read this far and you’re still interested, I kindly suggest you start following my blog as I’m constantly sharing stuff like this there where I constantly try to figure out who the hell I am.

Thanks to @galenkp for this initiative, I had a lot of fun writing this so I’m grateful for inspiring me to do it.

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