:x: :x: :x: Danger! But Only If Your Head Is Buzzing With Plans, Dreams And Goals For 2019. Don't Make This Fatalistic Mistake. :x: :x: :x:

We have arrived at that time of year when goals, dreams and ambitions creep in to the mind as a shiny, brand new year peeks from just around the corner.

I don't just mean those pesky resolutions, that sack-full of changes that we intend to make en-masse as soon as January 1st rears his (often drunken) head from his slumber. For most this approach to goal setting simply will not work! It is far too many things to change in just one day and hope to succeed.

No I mean those things that we inevitably begin to think about as the blank canvas of an entirely new year approaches. Human nature and human curiousity begins to wonder where we will be this time next year, after all we have an entire year to achieve, right? From beggars to Kings we all have desires and aspirations that outweigh the place we find ourselves in today, don't let anybody tell you any different.

Goals give us purpose, a reason to strive, stretch ourselves, try and reach our full potential. This is a noble pursuit we are discussing right here, right now it's not about being ungrateful about what we have today. In fact I wholeheartedly challenge you to set some serious goals for 2019.

So then...What is this deadly sounding warning that the title of this post refers to?

Oh I am glad that you asked!

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It's actually quite simple. You see, when most people begin to think about goals and aspirations their thought processes seem logical and rational but they are often, actually, ticking time-bombs destined to fail and explode or rather implode when we least expect it. I am gonna give a couple of examples of daydreaming about what we want from life, from the next year of our lives. Daydreaming? Oh-Yes Dear reader, that is where this magical, glorious process must begin. The mind must be allowed to wander, dream and become fanciful about what we would like from life after all, where else would the process begin? So back to the examples...

A person when thinking about what they want out of life may think....

• "I am gonna lose 40 pounds as I am sick of being fat and tired all the time".
• "I am gonna make some real money in 2019 as I can't afford a holiday".
• "I must give up smoking as I am gonna end up getting cancer".
• "I need to find a decent job as this one is killing me...I damn well hate it".
• "I need to find a better relationship, but Men/Women are all crazy and want to control your life, but maybe I'll get lucky and find an OK one".
• I gotta move to a decent neighbourhood, every single person here is awful".

Although the premise behind the dream/goal may seem sound, it is built on the back of some pretty pessimistic language and shoddy thinking, right? Each example is worded in the negative.

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So for example let's take the first goal. instead of saying...
"I am gonna lose 40 pounds as I am sick of being fat and tired all the time".
What about instead wording the goal as...
"I am going to become fitter, leaner and more energetic, I am going to begin by making a few simple changes and really ramp up my fitness as my body becomes more toned, flexible and starts to feel awesome".

Isn't that language far more empowering and inspiring? it sounds like something really worthy of running at and lists a few of the amazing changes we will undergo on the way to the accomplishment of the goal. In the first example we used the word fat and tired, that is hardly power-food for our subconscious. Spend a moment imaging the mental picture that goal wording conjured in our subconscious. Now take a second to imagine the mental image goal wording 2 conveys...

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Sick, fat and tired vs lean, energetic, toned, flexible and awesome.

The difference is like night and day, right?

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Let's take another example before we move on...

"I must give up smoking as I am gonna end up getting cancer".
Instead...
"I am looking forward with excitement to be forever free of cigarettes. I crave fresh breath, healthiness, greatly improved lung capacity and all that money I am going to save will pay for a luxury trip to see my Son in Australia/a new car/allow me to quit one of my two jobs"

Goal wording one focussed on giving up (sounds like losing something, right?) cigarettes and also focussed on...Cancer.
As opposed to
Being free, fresh breath, healthiness, improved breathing and a fabulous bonus from the massive savings.

I'm not going to examine every example as I know you "get this" stuff, once it is explained in these terms it makes perfect sense, right?

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If you are going to give goal setting a serious attempt and I highly recommend it. There are some more tips to take into account to maximise your chances of success.

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• Commit your thoughts, plans, hopes and dreams to paper. Do not rely on your mind recalling every bright shimmering detail of your new improved life.
• Be as specific as you can about the details of the goal. How long, tall, short, fast what colour, size, model, neighbourhood, how many bedrooms will your dream home have? What style interior will your dream car have?
• Tmestamp your goal...When should it be achieved?
• Spend plenty of time thinking about exactly what it is that you want, this way you will know if you are on track.
• If you set an enormous goal, such as losing 100 pounds this year, maybe break the bigger goal into milestones, weekly, monthly, quarterly. This will help you remain accountable and inform you if you are drifting further away from your goal.
• Don't set puny, smalltime, amateur goals. Set a goal that stretches you to achieve it. There is no joy or sense of accomplishment in deciding to lose 7 pounds in weight over the next year. Ideally, achieving the goal will require learning new disciplines/skills along the way.
• Don't set unrealistic goals either. Deciding to make 10 million dollars but only being willing to invest 2 hours of your time each week to do so is asking for failure.
• If you decide 2 months in that the goal was a mistake, or something that you do not really want. Squash it and add another goal. Do not waste time on I because you have already set this goal.
• NEVER set a goal because it looks good in the eyes of others or makes you appear brave or clever or sophisticated. Never set a goal because you think it will make your parents/wife/kids proud of you, this is shallow, unfulfilling and will, even if you succeed, dump you at a destination that you never wanted to reach!

Goal setting and achievement should be fun, exciting and fulfilling, if it is not, something is wrong...Go back to the drawing board, re-evaluate and get back to it.

And finally...

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This is your life, what do you want? Once you know, approach your goals and ambitions without fear, trepidation or hesitation. do not stop to question "what if I fail?" If you approach this with all of your heart, thought and intensity you stand an excellent chance of achieving all that you could ever want from life. The worst case scenario is that you fall short, this is not the same as failure because you will be that much closer to your dreams than if you had not tried at all. I am sure you are familiar with the expression (or many variations of it)

"In the end, the race is one that you run against yourself only"

Do not give the thoughts of others a second thought, they should be concerned with their own life, their own dreams...If they are watching yours a little too closely, there is obviously something lacking in their life! maybe they are secretly scared to embark on a journey such as yours, maybe they are eaten up with envy that you are putting yourself out there and trying to reach for more than you currently have.

Maybe you will be the person to advise them and help them to achieve their goals too as you become a person who gets things done!

If you go for it, you have my very best wishes for the journey ahead and my assurance that is one that's well worth undertaking. develop tenacity and plough forward with resilience and determination. Check your roadmap often to make sure it heads to where you want to be.

This is a subject I am incredibly passionate about so if you ever need a little help or advice or a push in the right direction...Give me a shout, drop me a line, find me on Discord (same name.) don't be shy, this is your life and happiness we are talking about...What could be more important, right?

May 2019 be a landmark year for you and yours.

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