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That was then this is now and times have changed. Things are different now and so are the expectations.

She'll live, and one day won't kill her. The point though would be to find a middle ground that you both can agree on if she broke an actual rule. If she did, you could negotiate something that you get and something she gets in return. A win, win for everyone... We have the tendency to project our values on to someone else, and then expect them to match up to our fantasy or expectation that we have in our heads. When in actuality it is far better to match your values to theirs and theirs to yours. Gratitude is a neutralizer here as well...

What does she value and how can you match something to theirs? Example: You may get a child who is a gamer who does nothing but play games all day, and they maybe logical, and the mother of the child might despise GAMING.

When we help the child code and become a programmer to create games using code what essentially happens is we have merged 2 values. GAMING + CODING! The mother stopped getting upset because the child was coding 90 percent of the time and making money doing so. We have to merge and combine values, not to mention match up to them AND MERGE WITH THEM! Suddenly, the mother let go of her pressure... Interesting isn't it?

Anyone we perceive as challenging or not living according to our higher values we tend to lower down and place them in a pit and get upset with them. We tend to inject our values into their life and have them attempt to live according to our values more than just their own. This leads them to experiencing internal moral dilemmas and a need for outside motivation to get them 'focused' or going against their values wherever there is any distinction.

We end up projecting our values into theirs and hear ourselves using imperatives like 'You have to,' 'You should,' 'You ought to,' 'You are supposed to,' 'You need to.' This results in a state of imbalance within our relationships. As a teacher you will have thAT "lens" of education and project those values. While education is crucial she won't die if she misses a single day. Now, if it becomes a pattern then it is time for a talk! You can install the idea of why being their every day and project it, but you need to find what she finds valuable in SCHOOL, or you are going against the grain. Make sense? What does she value with school? Match it and work with it.

You can install the values of education, but not until you match the value with her own will she find higher reasons. Then the light bulb will go off in her head...

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