Faith and Reason: My Experience with Religion - Part 2 of 3

Click here for part 1

So my curiosity was piqued when I heard a station on my shortwave radio (yes they still are around) called ewtn. It stands for eternal word television network and it is a Catholic news station. I didn’t agree with a lot of what they said, but this was me trying to become part of a community despite some disagreements with the teachings, right? As a matter of fact, there was a church pretty close by that had an almost 24 hour open door policy. I thought this would help when I wanted a quiet place to pray or just be silent.

So I started to attend the mass but did not take the host wafer. I was baptized Catholic but I never did a confession in my life so I wasn’t allowed to partake. I also wasn’t confirmed either. The church was an old basilica and it was absolutely beautiful. People were allowed to visit during the day and just sit. It was deeply peaceful and silent.

I spent weeks doing this and started to read up on the articles of faith. Would I be willing to become a practicing Catholic and ignore some of the things I disagreed with? One person who did not like the idea was my father. He was born Lutheran and had much to say about the Catholic Church and that one only need the Bible and faith in Christ. My mom came from a large Catholic family but was definitely not practicing. I don’t think she liked the idea either. This didn’t bother me much. I was committed to explore the possibility further. I got in contact with the priest and prepared to make a first confession. The day came and I spilled my guts. It was cathartic for sure. So I started to attend the mass and confess any sins I was aware of after the initial confession. I also decided to sign up for first communion classes and looked forward to it.

Things were going well. I did my first lent season and felt I was part of something new. I was still struggling with low moods but this was helping a lot. It helped with the social anxiety and I felt I was making progress. Having no job definitely added to my feelings of isolation which I think was worse than the financial part of it. People in the church were mostly kind and accepting. So far my only problems with the teachings were about abortion, contraception and mortal sin. I was confident that these things would be worked out at the confirmation classes.

Stay tuned for part 3

Follow me!