You're trying to 'understand' Christianity. This means you are trying to incorporate Christianity into your world-picture. Christianity is itself a fully developed world picture and it's very different from yours. That's why it won't fit in with your world picture.

You becoming christian will happen when you manage to step through the window of meaning into the Christian universe. This will feel like this: you will read something written by a believer, or you will hear a believer speaking about it, and suddenly you will "GET IT".

You will understand what the story of Christ MEANS. Not with reference to your world picture, it won't feel like understanding anything else you've ever understood before, it feels a little bit like understanding a geometry problem, but it's its own thing, it feels like the top of your head open and the truth of Christ shines down into your mind. You realize what it means that Christ conquered death, you realize what it means that he went up to be Crucified, you realize the good news. It's great.