"I want to change my mischievous character and have more than sexual relationships, but how do I accomplish it?"

Dear Nomad,

I want a relationship but one that will not be stressful or burdensome. Girls usually enter “my space” automatically. They call me every day, wanting to get together; it is irritating.

I am always honest with them. When they ask: “what kind of relationship do you want?”, I tell them that although I am easy-going I don’t just want sex.

So, how do I make the switch toward a more serious relationship without too much bother from her?

Valentino

Credit: excite.jp

Valentino,

You may find it hard to believe but you attract exactly the kind of relationships that you need. You see, unlike most animals, relationships between human beings have more than procreation and sexual satisfaction for purposes. Therefore, a human being that insists on relationships that are merely sexual will, sooner or later, reach a point in which they receive signals from their soul level urging them to move forward and grow.

In your case the signals reach you through the behavior of your spouses: that is, their “nagging”, their nit-picking and their bothersome demands for attention and care. All these patterns of conduct are a great gift for you.

Anyhow, it seems that you have now reached the conclusion that it’s high time you went deeper inside to find more meaningful places in your personality and soul-essence. You have decided that you want to establish a strong connection with a woman that will relate to all your levels: spirit, soul, mind and body. The problem is that you want to benefit from both worlds.

What do you mean: “a serious relationship without too much bother”?! In every meaningful relationship there are situations that call for mental involvement, emotional devotion, thoughtfulness and caring, sharing and personal expression, the giving of security, creation and initiative. All that and more is called: “L O V E” !

Does love frighten you? It looks like that! Or else you would not describe love with adjectives like ”burdensome” and “stressful”.

Therefore, the best advice for you is, to begin with yourself and your choices. What do you really want and are you willing to make the necessary changes in order to achieve those goals? Later, when you allow a loving relationship to come into your life you will - together with your girlfriend - set the limits and boundaries that fit you both. Not only you deserve to have your own space in a relationship, but it's healthy and necessary! We will discuss this more once you reach that stage. For now, start by focusing on the type of relationship you want.

Good luck!