RELATIONSHIP TALKS: ADVICE NEEDED
I'm not really one to know so much about relationships, but somehow, I always love to help out and hear the stories of others and see if there's anything I can do to help.
I got talking to a friend who needed my help and advice on an issue.
It was quite a difficult one and I was almost lost on a reply to give and so I decided to share here.
Perhaps, I could get ideas from relationship experts here and who knows, a relationship could be saved.
What Would You Advice?
I was raped and lost my virginity. I have a fiance which I'm afraid of losing. How do I do it. Should I tell him or not. If I'm to tell him how?
Source
She has been a virgin since they started dating and it's been 4 years into the relationship and they've never had a sexual relationship because they've been waiting for the wedding night.
Bed undefiled.
The guy knows about her virginity and which is why they have not indulged in any sexual acts.
But few months to her wedding and she got raped.
How does she relate this to her fiance?
How will he take it?
Different thoughts ran through my head as I pondered what reply would actually work.
What if the guy thinks she never was a virgin?
And the story was only made up to cover up her silly acts because she knows he will find out at the wedding night.Why didn't she get raped earlier on in the relationship all these while the guy has been respecting her by wanting to wait till the night before they do. 🤣
Telling the guy might be the most sensible thing to do but what if he calls off the wedding after breaking the news to him.
Even if she is to tell him, how does she go about it?
Dropping the bombshell without wetting the ground may not really be a good idea.Finally, because of how scared she is, she is contemplating breaking the news over the phone.
Is that viable?
I'd really appreciate whatever comments I can get as this will go a long way in fixing somebody's relationship.
Thanks for your time.
I remain your girl, Juliet Israel
I think telling him will be better, but if he finds out himself, that will be worse.
But you just have to be careful in the manner you approach the conversation because it's really painful and sad to hear this.
If he truly loves you and I believe he does, he won't run away from you.
I concur to this
Tell him. The reaction will tell you whether he loves you or not. It won't be good if he finds it out later. I guess that.
I don't think using his reaction to the news to judge his love for you is the best idea. Obviously he won't be happy to hear the news. He'll be thrown back and might have to process it. Even Joseph was thrown back when he found out Mary was pregnant. Lol. I advice just tell him. You can't control his reaction to it.
Who talked about controlling others emotion? Did you? Coz I dont recall I did that. 😮😮😮
She should just do the right thing by telling him. I understand how difficult that would be. And ofcourse he won't be so pleased with the news. But just tell him anywhere, you have no control over his reaction to it but It'll be worse to enter into that marriage with such a "lie". And also, if you don't tell him now, imagine his reactiom on the wedding night 🤷♀️