Reaching for the top - because I have taste (and who cares anyway?)

This is the first time since I joined Steemit, about seven months ago, I haven't posted anything in a week.
I could go through all the reasons. Bladibla. Main reason: who cares!

And on every crossroad, I re-evaluate my life. My desires, my dreams, my priorities.
Perhaps this is the philosopher's curse, to lead a reflective life. To never take things for granted until they make sense inside my own mind. To think and consider until I can be at peace with something.

I want to do many things. I want to be happy. I want to find motivation for the things I feel are necessary to do, and I want to have courage to say no to things that are not leading towards the place I want to be.

And then things happen. Life happens. You make decision that impact things.
You move to China and get food poisoning. No, that's not a good example. Because even though I was very sick last week, that doesn't lead you to reconsider things.

You get a job, and work very hard at publishing that paper that probably will be rejected. You spend years working on something that perhaps simply isn't good enough.
And you decide to continue. And to raise the bar even higher. And to fail more and on a more epic scale.

I'm never satisfied with my achievements. Because I know I can do better. I can do more. I can try harder. And every rejection is probably right. For some reason, they are right. The manuscript may be too risky. The prose not fluid enough. The arguments not sound. The point not immediately clear. Well, fine. Tear it apart. I'll work on it.

So if I'm not posting to Steemit that much anymore, not like anyone cares or notices anyway, it's because I'm busy writing other things. Short stories. Monographs. Novels. Whatever. And I'll be getting better. One week at the time. And not just because I push myself. But because I have a goal. Because I reflect on my choices each step of the way. And, yeah. Because I'm a bit crazy for even trying.

Or, as Ira Glass said it (thanks to @jordan.lesisch for sharing this quote):

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”