Reclaiming the Lost Art of Communication - Understanding the Lost Art of Communication
"Reclaiming the lost art of communication: reconnecting with the lost art of love." This is the title of a new book by Keith Baxter and Karen Smith. It was originally titled "Reclaiming Your Marriage: Creating Marriage from the Heart." For a book with such a title, it is surprisingly timely as well as intelligent.
As the title says, this book is about marriage and the process of restoring and enriching it. In my opinion, the term "restoring" is too strong. If the relationship is not fully restored, the marriage may even suffer permanent damage. For a perfect example, consider a man who loved his wife very much but she left him for another man. He misses her so much and wants to get back in her good graces.
He and his husband both have strong positive feelings for each other. However, they are separated by a wide gulf of distance - an ocean that they can neither see nor feel. They have completely different ideas about how to reconnect with each other through communicating and this creates a big dilemma for them both. The husband tries to get his spouse back through his communication channels but he just does not know where to turn or what to say. He is also uncomfortable talking to his wife about why he feels so disconnected from her.
To complicate matters even further, his new partner has also fallen out of love with him because she has lost interest in being with him emotionally. The lost art of communication here is that there is no "heart" to be tapped in these situations. There is only what we experience with our "bare" souls. The husband is actually harboring a lot of anger, pain and resentment because he is disconnected emotionally from his wife. He is trying desperately to make up with his ex but is not sure how to do so. His whole world has come to stand still and everything around him is blocking his way to reconnection with his wife.
Reclaiming the lost art of communication requires that you make time to be with each other again and learn to listen to each other again. One of the biggest problems in rekindling the lost art of communication is that many of us communicate only through our words and that is very limiting. We live in a world of instant messaging, texting, e-mailing and video conferencing. This has made it very easy for us to keep in touch with our friends and family but it has also created separation and loneliness in many cases.
If you want to reconnect with your husband, you need to get back to the drawing board and start communicating through more than just your words. This is easier said than done. As a matter of fact, it can be a challenge to get past the barriers that have created communication barriers between you two. You are probably feeling as though your husband has emotionally left you and doesn't care about anything else except spending time with friends and chatting on the phone.
If you truly want to reconnect with your husband, you have to take the lead and be the one to initiate contact. By initiating contact, you will put yourself in position to where you can begin communicating and reestablish that lost art of communication with your husband. This is much easier said than done however and you must be willing to be patient and willing to really listen to your husband's concerns and needs.
It is possible to feel disconnected emotionally from your husband and not know why. In order to reconnect with your husband, you need to learn what your husband's concerns and needs are. You must also listen intently when your husband talks to you. Once you learn those two things, you will be able to quickly get over the emotional hurdle and get back into the realm of communication with your husband.