Self forgiveness for Halloween
Tonight was Halloween. Here in our Camphill Village, we where remembering people that have gone past with lighting candles under a modest and decent (and there for a very worthy) ceremony. It was very anagogic. There was flute playing, a poem that was red, a gentle song, and we all (18-20 of us) got to mention our loved ones that had passed as we lid them a candle and some of us spoke on who they were.
I have been under the umbrella of psychiatry since I was 25 - back in 2003 - and I have within so been living in the somewhat extreme of culture and life style. Addicting and sabotaging to life as it was presented to me. During and after these rather trouble some years I have lost some very good friends to that death; drugs, suicide and psychiatry. I remembered them tonight, they are many, and I made myself the promise to go on as best as I can with my living, to honor that: life and do what I can for what is best for all - and the coming generations with devotion and dedication in my life. I want my life to matter - cause I make my life matter. I am matter - I matter to me !
In this world where most things are in reverse and pretty scary to be honest, I find it more and more essential to be learn to honor life and to stretch out and do that extra thing in my living to better living for all.
It all points back at myself, all the fibonacci spirals lol... so in this math : I must change myself into a better version of me, like Neo in matrix, like Jesus walking on earth, and to be the best that I can be.
Human life and this world does not have to be in conflict. I am living proof. There is a solution and that is YOU: that is the self. And here self forgiveness kicks inn.... remission of self.
Mission: I am possible. You don't want to miss self forgiveness - this we know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to long for death just to see my loved ones again, failing to see that I am here, with endless opportunity to make a difference in my life and my world, where I commit myself to do just that to work and honor life to my very best ability.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up and talk about people that have passed that I knew of, that I knew even from a distance and where I knew they were having a hard time, but I failed to reach out and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for failing to reach out to people that are now gone.
Check out these recordings on matter: https://eqafe.com/series/80-heart-of-matter
- and drop me a comment if you feel like that
Thanks for reading
Check out the links to self discovery:
Want to simply learn self forgiveness : http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/
My blog: https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/
Investigate the library : https://eqafe.com/
Give time to: http://desteni.org/