Love-Hate Relationships

Relationship dynamics are complex and have a huge impact on our lives. They impact our life trajectory, our overall contentment, and can be either a source of stress or support – all depending on the dynamic,

One negative dynamic is the love-hate dynamic wherein partners vacillate between idealizing and devaluing each other. This creates a push-pull action. “Push” behaviors like judging, criticizing, insulting and ignoring are harmful to relationships. They are often followed by “pull” behaviors like pleasing, apologizing, romancing, clinging and worrying. Together, they create stressful instability. Relationship counseling or marriage therapy can help. Relationship counseling identifies the underlying factors disturbing the dynamic and repairs it.

Nobody likes to be on the losing end of an argument – but how far are you willing to go to be right? While it is important to fight for the things that truly matter to you, most minor disagreements or differences of opinion shouldn’t escalate into an all-out war. Compromise, along with the ability of knowing when and how to pick your battles, are key to fighting fairly with your spouse. You should also avoid making it personal just to prove a point. Picking away at the qualities you dislike about your partner doesn’t make you right – it makes you a bully.