How to learn to be alone?

weak loneliness fear strong loneliness enjoy. perhaps, each of US happen short-term and long periods of loneliness.

Weak loneliness is afraid, strong loneliness is enjoyed. Perhaps, each of us has short-term and long periods of loneliness. And the majority in all possible ways seeks to avoid this, as is commonly believed, evil. But is it necessary? Maybe you should find the pros and learn to enjoy the time spent alone with yourself, your thoughts and a unique inner world. We bring to your attention an interesting look at loneliness: the history and recommendations of Liane Gergely definitely deserve attention.

I go to the cinema alone. One I visit museums. I have one supper (and yes, I refused the temptation to scroll the Instagram ribbon while waiting for the order). One I sit in a coffee shop and turn over the magazine. One takes a train ticket and goes to a new city, where I walk all alone.

I understand that this may seem very strange. You probably think that I'm a cute eccentric, and very lonely. It's funny, but I was so much lonely before I started spending time alone with myself. The constant feeling that I was not at ease, and the feeling that people like me needed the air around me, was loneliness. The feeling of constant anxiety and the fear that a guy will leave me, this is loneliness. And spending time alone is calm. It is interesting. And it increases self-esteem. And now I will tell you how I learned to spend time alone.

1. Just do it. And stop trying to look cool

The cliché from Nike is already tired of everyone, but still Just Do It. Since this all started. How awkward it was for the first time to go to the cinema alone and sit there with a backpack on the next chair, pretending to the other visitors of the cinema that the guy went behind drinks and is about to return. Look at the truth - you will still be sitting there alone. Awkwardness will pass, as will the fear of people who are supposedly thinking about something about why you spend your time alone. Stop trying to be cool in the eyes of others. Most likely, you will never meet these strangers in your life, and they will most likely discuss the film, not you.

1. Create your list of favorite things. And do not wait for anyone.

I realized that I should spend time alone, when things appeared that I would like to do, but my friends that could make me a company were always busy or had other plans. If your favorite band is going to perform with a single concert in your city, and none of the friends can go, do not lose the opportunity to realize the dream. You can always wait for others to be free, and eventually realize that the moment is lost. In addition, planning something for yourself does not require exchanging a bunch of messages (and silly group chats).

So take a piece of paper and write every thing you love, and what you want to do, but never did, because there was not someone around. Now this justification is not accepted.

1. Create a schedule. Do not cancel plans

Once a week I include in my schedule an evening, which I will spend alone. This means that I'll go to the cinema alone or lie in my pajamas and review "Sex and the City". A line in the schedule serves as a written confirmation that I should please myself, and will help not change my plans, if something unexpected happens. I do not want to deny my friends, but now I'm learning to be my friend.

This is a great relief - one evening, which is dedicated exclusively to yourself, when you do not have to worry, if all your friends' plans coincide, when you do not have to leave home if you want to lie on the couch. I spend time with myself and do what pleases me. No stress. No complicated solutions. This is easy and feasible. And most importantly, it's a chance to be honest with yourself: decide what I really want, and what's easier said than done.

Last year I became lonely of my own free will. Not because of the circumstances. Not because no one wanted to communicate with me or I could not find a suitable companion.
Many find it hard to believe that I refuse to go on dates. And often I look strange in the eyes of my old grouchy aunt or friends in college.

Why do some people decide to be alone at their own will? To spend time alone? Do I lose an important part of my life if I do not go on dates with Tinder? What if that One passed by, and I did not notice, because I was too busy with myself?
I'm not ashamed of my loneliness, to loudly say: dating with myself was the most stable, non-violent, relaxing relationship that you can imagine. There is no need to wait for an answer to the message (or to suffer, thinking whether my message was too coquettish, too demanding, too verbose), and it never occurred to me that another person might misunderstand me.

This does not mean that I'm not going to meet other people in the future - definitely I will. But now I know for sure that the relationship that I managed to build with myself is a relationship that I would like with another person. I am kind, and patient, and affectionate. I laugh at my mistakes and forgive myself misconduct. I would like to be with this person and, I hope, I will.