It's not you. It was never about you.

We have a tendency to take things personally, which I suppose is only natural for us, as humans. After all, I am who I am, it makes sense that I would assume everything is about me. And besides, we are selfish by nature, so we usually believe that everything is about us, that it revolves around us, when in fact, it does not. There is so little around us that is truly about who we are.

I was talking to someone about this and while I was telling her these things, I realized it's really about myself and I'm sure, about many others. I'm quick to react to things around me and I become certain that anything and everything is about me. You didn't text, it means you hate me. The store clerk didn't return my smile – they must've thought I was awful. You get it.
And it's a very harmful mentality, if you think about it, it means anything can get to you and you shouldn't really allow that. I mean, you should let yourself be touched by people (not in the weird way, you perv :P) and to react to what's around you. But many times, we over-react and to things that have nothing to do with us, which only ends up damaging our health, in the end.

We were talking about an ignored text, me and my friend, and immediately, she assumed it was about her, that the people who hadn't replied did not like her. And standing outside, I was easily able to recognize that it simply wasn't true. It had nothing to do with her, most likely, but rather with those people. With how they thought, what their values were, how they wanted to be perceived by others. Basically, it was about anything but her.
And seeing this, it was easy for me to point it out, to go 'dude, chill, it's probably nothing.'
But here's the thing, most of us aren't so quick to tell when we're the ones making this assumption. I do it all the time, I tend to take things very personally, as I said. The fact that someone doesn't react how you would react or how you'd want them to react is about them and not about you. And yet, we see it as something about us. Because we're insecure and it's quite easy to be convinced that you're the one doing it wrong.

Just look how many unstable, fragile people are out there. It's easy to think you're the problem.

But the truth is there isn't a problem and you need to learn to see that. Because it's all very good when a friend can point this out, when you have someone who sees things clearly. But you need to teach yourself to view things clearly as well, because otherwise, you will get fucked up in the end. I can't know everything, not even as your closest friend, and I can't be there all the time, even if I would like to. And at some point, you get to a critical point where you really need someone to snap you out of your own bullshit and find there's no one around. So, you teach yourself to recognize these situations. You have to learn to say fuck it, this is not about me. Me, me, me. We only think in terms of 'me' and it gets boring after a while.

I'm not usually one to believe in the whole 'don't take it personally' excuse. I normally say 'dude, of course it's personal, we're people, we're by definition personal'.
And besides, so many people use the 'don't take it personally' excuse to just be dicks, you know? They're like, oh this isn't about me, I did nothing wrong. Yeah, you did. You should also learn to recognize when you're being a complete asshole. Just sayin'.

But that doesn't happen all the time. You need to learn to be more self-assured, to know it's not always about you.

You know what is about you? How easily you let someone upset your internal balance. That says something about the way you think and about your value system and it's not something good, either.
Again, we all do it. This is about my friend as much as it is about you and as much as it is about me. Some learn to do it less as they grow older, some don't. You have to make sure you're among those who do.

Thank you for reading,