Self-Improvement: Being TOLD What we Need vs. KNOWING What we Need

Lately, I have been returning to the "roots" of my writing and blogging, as I has unfolded over the past 20-odd years... observing the strange machinations of the human psyche.

It's actually both funny and confounding how the human psyche works.

I found myself thinking about our general resistance to change, even when we claim to be "open to" changes. And I'm not talking about being "defiant" and stubborn in the face of well-meaning people's constructive criticism.

White Nigella

If You Don't FEEL it, it Don't MATTER!

I'm talking about the way we don't tend to DO things that will make our lives better until we truly *"feel them in our bones."

Even when we know better!

We can have someone tell us that we need to (for example) "get in shape," and we can totally agree with them from a purely intellectual perspective... and yet we will actually take no action till we fully embrace the idea of getting in shape... and suddenly we start the movement forward. It happens when we actually feel the need for change, even though we may have recognized that need for a long time, already.

And then? We often move forward with great determination!

Now, some might jump to the conclusion that this sudden "forward motion" is started by some kind of personal crisis. But whereas that certainly can be true, most of the time it isn't.

Using myself as a "case in point," I should have started eating better and losing weight after I ended up in the Emergency Room with a "hypertensive crisis" just before Christmas 2013. But actual action didn't happen till a couple of years later when I realized that I felt (physically) really shitty and I felt too young to go into a state of final entropy.

The intellectual realization was in place, but it was another couple of years before I actually felt it.

Apples, on their way to becoming apples...

We Can't Tell People What to Do!

In a sense, it explains the dynamics behind the frustrating nature of trying to get people to do things "for their own good." Even when they recognize the issue and actually agree with us, they may still not be ready to make a move.

For example, Mrs. Denmarkguy knows she needs to quit smoking — even without my telling her anything — and she even kids around that "one day she's going to wake up and simply not smoke anymore."

And I know she's right!

And I also know there's nothing I — or any of our kids — can say or do to make a difference, aside from being supportive when she does decide to quit. Again, the human psyche works in strange ways.

Of course, these were very limited examples I used here... you probably have some of your own, you can think of?

Thanks for reading!

Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for this platform.)
Created at 190619 01:12 PST
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